


What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

by SamanthaB



Category: Glee
Genre: AU, Badboy!Jeff, M/M, nerd!Nick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 58,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6408775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaB/pseuds/SamanthaB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff has been the school's bad boy since he can remember and Nick never liked him, how could he? Nick just wants distance from this bad boy, and that hurts Jeff since he always hoped Nick would see beyond his mask. But one day things start changing, secrets are found. Will this be for better or for worse? <br/>TW: violence, social anxiety and bullying<br/>(repost from FFnet)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was another normal and boring day for Jeff Sterling. He was leaned against the lockers watching the people pass by him and looking away as he looked back at them.

He liked that feeling, being feared by the others, smaller or bigger than him, it didn’t matter, people just feared him. He also liked the sense of power he had in that school, created once more by the fear and respect people had in him – more like the want to keep their faces intact.

Jeff’s mouth corner turned up a little in a smirk. He turned a bit to the side to open his locker and reach for his cigarette just in time for the beginning of the class. He hung his backpack on his shoulder and trapped the cigarette between his lips so he could fix his black leather jacket as he walked to the classroom.

When Jeff looked up a grin grew instantly on his lips and he grabbed the cigarette with two fingers. “Well, well, well,” He said stepping closer to a certain brunet. “Look, if it isn’t little Nicky.”

Nick looked down at his feet hugging the books closer to his chest, he adjusted the glasses as they fell a little on his nose. “Stop, please” He asked in a small voice.

“Oh, why?” Jeff said pushing Nick slowly against the nearest wall.

Nick stumbled back looking up wide eyed not able to walk away as Jeff was cornering him. “Be-because I want you away from me,” Nick said in his still small voice.

“Awn, why Nicky? You break my heart when you say such things,” Jeff mocked hurt driving a hand to his chest.

Truth is, Jeff has this crush on the brunet.

He had for a while now. He admired him, because no matter how much crap he had to take from the others for being openly gay he never gave up, he was always there with his wayfarer glasses and his face slightly hidden behind the books he carried on his arms.

Nick was known as the gay nerd in the school, he was pushed around and beaten sometimes, when Jeff wasn’t there. He usually just said to the jocks to pick someone with their size, like Jeff, and they would just walk away.

But Nick didn’t care even the slightest for Jeff, he actually ran away from him, and that hurt Jeff a little, he wished Nick would see past his cocky cold mask. But he didn’t, and Jeff’s behaviour towards him was just a way of defending himself from his feelings.

“Why can’t you ignore me like everybody else?” Nick mumbled not able to look at Jeff in the eyes.

“Because you’re too beautiful for me to do that,” Jeff grinned.

Nick blushed. “Let me go.” He said in a mutter looking completely away from Jeff.

“I don’t wanna let you go,” Jeff said lowly to Nick with a grin moving closer to him leaning a bit down keeping his face just an inch from Nick’s taking in his features.

Nick raised his books creating a wall between him and Jeff. “If you don’t let me go I’ll scream!” Nick said in a rushed tone, that was getting too far to his taste.

Jeff sighed. “Go ahead then,” He said letting Nick go to his class and going to the other side of the school where he would have his own class.

“I see you decided to get late again, Jeff.” Mr Schue said as Jeff entered the classroom calmly.

“I see you decided to use too much gel again, Mr Schue,” Jeff said casually walking to his seat and turning his cigarette on.

“Jeff, you know you can’t smoke indoors!” Mr Schue warned him.

“Chill out dude, it’s electronic, we’ve discussed this before, it’s not against the rules.” Jeff rolled his eyes, half of the class already looking at him disapprovingly for speaking with a teacher like that.

Jeff took a long drag from his cigarette blowing the water vapour up. “Jeff, I really don’t want to send you out, but if you keep this behaviour and you keep smoking, I’ll have to invite you to leave this classroom!” Mr Schue said starting to get annoyed.

“Awn, that’s sweet, but no thanks, I’m alright in here.”  Jeff said taking another drag.

“Jeffrey!” Mr Schue slammed his hand on the desk. “Turn that off and behave in my class or you’ll get expelled from it!”

Jeff turned immediately serious at the use of his full name. “Fine,” He groaned turning the cigarette off, but as soon as Mr Schue started the class and turned around to write on the board Jeff turned it on again.

Mr Schue ignored that since Jeff kept silent the rest of the class.

As the bell rang Jeff was the first one to get up and leave. He walked quickly to his next class with a small smirk, if he got there soon enough he’d be able to sit beside Nick. As he got there Nick was sat alone on a table writing down some stuff, Jeff let himself stay by the door taking large drags from his electronic cigarette glaring at anyone that dared to look at him as they passed by.

When there were only a few more minutes until the bell would ring for the class to begin Jeff entered the classroom going to sit beside Nick. Nick huffed a bit as Jeff sat beside him and was about to change seats when Jeff stopped him. “You know, if you change I’ll go after you,” He said casually watching Nick carefully.

Nick sat again. “Why do you do this to me? Do you enjoy this?” Nick demanded looking down at the table not able to look up. Jeff shrugged and took a drag from his cigarette. “Could you at least, not smoke? And-and I don’t care if it’s electronic, just don’t!” Nick burst out his cheeks tinting pink as he wasn’t used to speak to others much, especially like this.

Jeff rolled his eyes and turned the cigarette off.

Nick pulled the papers nearer to him again and continued to write whatever he was writing. Jeff simply turned to him and smiled a bit as he watched him, Nick was really beautiful.

“Stop staring.” Nick asked with a mumble, but then the bell rand and Jeff turned forward anyway.

The lesson passed incredibly slow for both boys but for different reasons. Nick just felt really uncomfortable with Jeff casually staring at him and smirking when Nick couldn’t help the blush from creeping through his neck to his cheeks and Jeff was simply bored, like always, he could never find classes slightly entertaining, and since Nick had asked him not to smoke – if it was someone else Jeff would roll his eyes and keep smoking, but for Nick he’d make an effort, it’s not like the boy would notice anyway, he’d keep hating Jeff, but Jeff wanted to make these small things for Nick – he didn’t have anything to do, literally.

Jeff nearly shout an hallelujah as the bell rang, and the best thing was that next he’d have p.e. with Nick, he got to see him in shorts and a t-shirt. Nick could be a nerd, but he had a really nice body.

“May I walk with you to the gym?” Jeff asked with a grin not actually waiting for an answer as he started following Nick.

“No.” Nick mumbled hugging his books tighter. “Just leave me alone. Why do you enjoy annoying me?” He asked his voice getting lower and lower and he hugged the books closer, he could feel himself starting to feel sick, it was just too much for one day, Nick hated to have too much social interaction in one day, which was what was happening with Jeff. But there was something else rising inside him. It was anger, he was reaching a point where he’d explode, he almost preferred the bullies that threw him to the dumpsters than to have to bear with Jeff, he never knew what to do when it was Jeff, and that angered him. That was why he really didn’t like the bad boy.

“I don’t... I’m just trying to understand why you hate me so much... I just want to be friends...” Jeff shrugged a bit.

“Friends?!” Nick gasped and turned to Jeff. “Friends?!” He repeated, his voice getting higher than it had ever got in front of anyone in that school. “You terrorize me, every single day! You never leave me alone, even if I ask you to! You carry that-“ Nick gestured to Jeff, trying to verbalise what he thought. It wasn’t easy, Nick wasn’t used to talk much. “Bad boy image that, honestly, annoys the hell out of me. It’s not the leather or the earrings. It’s the attitude! You must think you’re better than everyone else, because you smoke or something like that, but you are not!” Nick shouted looking everywhere but Jeff who was looking back at Nick wide eyed, not really expecting an outburst from him, ever. “You keep smoking in class where everyone asks you not to and I don’t care if it’s a electronic cigarette! It’s still annoying and it’s still a cigarette! I hate that you look so proud of... All this! And I hate that I have to bear with more crap than you just because you decide to behave like this!” Nick said, his face red with anger before he realised what he had just done. His eyes grew in terror and he ran to nearest bathroom.

Nick’s breaths were uneven. Not from the short run, but for what had happened with Jeff. It was the first time since he remembered he spoke with someone like that. He was shaking and it was getting really hard to breathe. Nick took his glasses off and went to wash his face with cold water to calm himself down. It was an anxiety attack, it wasn’t the first, so Nick knew how to handle it. Sort of. He couldn’t control it, just make his best to breathe normally again.

Nick ran through the deserted hallways and as he was finally in the locker rooms he changed to his sports outfit in record time. He sneaked into the gym trying to go unnoticed when the teacher saw him and told him to do more fifteen laps than usual. Nick sighed and prepared himself psychologically for the long run before starting.

When Nick had stormed out like that from the hall Jeff stood completely frozen on the hallway. He had some mixed feelings inside him. He felt so guilty for making Nick feel that bad and because it was never his intention to make him feel like that, he felt hurt for how Nick had spoke with him, he felt worried because he had never seen Nick like that before, he felt slightly angry because somehow Nick had been unfair. Jeff never thought he was superior because he smoked. That was the stupidest thing he had ever heard, if he could he would never smoke. Ever.

After those long stunned minutes passed Jeff turned to the rest of the hall that was staring back at him. “What?!” He growled and everyone turned to their own business. “Yeah, I thought that too.” Jeff mumbled reaching for his cigarette taking a long drag. Soon he was feeling the effect of the drugs kicking in and he felt much better.

He ignored Nick during P.E., if that was what Nick wanted he would stay away from. It would hurt, yes, but maybe it was for the best. Nick couldn’t know what happened behind closed doors, Jeff didn’t want him to know not only because he felt embarrassed but also because he didn’t want him to worry. If he could ever worry about Jeff. Jeff knew that at the moment he never would, he ated Jeff and it hurt to think that, but he had to go over that.

After he was done with the running Jeff reached for the electronic cigarette that was behind his ear and took a couple of drags from it.

Then the teacher told the boys to go play soccer and the girls volley, Jeff refused to play as per usual so he went to the bleachers to just watch as he smoked. But as he saw Nick roll his eyes and huff, Jeff bit his lip and said he had changed his mind and that for once he would actually play. The teacher was quite surprised as well as everyone else. Through the corner of his eyes Jeff saw Nick looking surprised at him.

Before they started playing Nick had to take his glasses off, he knew how people around were and he knew if he played with them chances were that someone would make his best to smash them. He didn’t know why Jeff had decided to play maybe he had woken a bit up with Nick’s previous talk - Nick took a deep breath to not freak out again as he remembered it – or maybe he just saw Nick huff and decided he should play before Nick would snap again. Nick shook his head, it probably hadn’t to do with him, Jeff’s life didn’t go around Nick.

To say that Nick hated team sports was a bit of an understatement. Especially if he had Jeff blocking him. He felt strangled, out of breath, and he didn’t even ran that much. The worst part was that he saw really bad, people seemed just big blurs and he could barely see the ball. The guys from nick’s team would pass him the ball here and there just so they could make fun of him.

And then something Nick didn’t really expect happened. Jeff, who seemed, so far, to be a nice soccer player, when the ball was passed to Nick, he didn’t make the tiniest effort to take the ball from him, letting the brunet get to the goal. Nick didn’t score though, the goalkeeper even laughed at Nick for his poor try. Jeff frowned at him and stepped closer to him grabbing him by his shirt.

“You make fun of Nick again and I swear you’ll walk around with a black eye tomorrow.” Jeff hissed.

The guy did big eyes at Jeff and nodded. Jeff thought that sometimes people around school forgot Jeff was just a normal teen like them, they could easily punch him if they wanted. Okay maybe not easily, but anyway, Jeff didn’t mind that they were really scared of him, he didn’t have to be alert all the time and it felt nice to be in power for once.

Jeff grinned a bit. “Great. I am glad we’ve come to an agreement.” He said and let the guy down reaching for the electronic cigarette to take a large drag before putting it back in place.

Nick furrowed his eyebrows as to try to understand what was happening right in front of him, he could hear some murmuring coming from what he thought it was Jeff – with that electric blond hair who else could it be anyway – and the goalkeeper. Then the game continued. Jeff blocked Nick mostly from the people who wanted to push Nick than actually block the way between the ball and him. Nick was quite surprised but really glad. Maybe Jeff was trying to somehow apologise for what he had been doing.

When the game ended Jeff casually reached for his cigarette and took large drags as he walked out of the gym to the locker room ignoring the teacher who was calling him back to do some push ups and sit ups with the rest of the class and blowing the water vapour up.

As soon as he was out of everyone’s sight, in the locker room, Jeff dropped to his knees, gasping and trying to hold himself in place. He drove the cigarette to his lips and took several deep drags. The pain was so much, he wondered how he was able to stay so cool on the field. He felt like one of his ribs was out of place and it was making Jeff having some difficulties on breathing correctly. He dragged himself, literally, to the showers and rested against the cold tiles before turning the cold water on, so the pain would ease. He whimpered a bit at the difference of temperatures but then breathed a bit relieved as the drugs and the cold water were making the effect he wanted and needed. That was it, he would never play team sports again. Ever. It hurt too much, his whole body hurt too much.

As Jeff heard people on the hallway that connected the gym with the locker rooms he got up and went to close himself on a bathroom. He waited for everyone to shower, dress and leave, shuddering with cold and trying to smoke as discretely as possible.

Nick went to the locker room and looked around, Jeff wasn’t no where to be seen he was probably already gone, he sighed a bit. He wanted to thank him for what he had done in P.E. and he knew later he wouldn’t be brave enough to address Jeff. Especially to thank him. He went to shower after the others were done so anyone had to see his body.

Jeff looked around before leaving the bathroom cabin, to make sure no one was actually there. Only then he showered and prepared to leave.

He was already on the parking lot when he saw it. Nick was begging to the the two jocks, that were carrying him to the big garbage cans, to put them down, and they were simply laughing at Nick.

Jeff’s body was still hurting. A lot. But that, looking at that awful scene, made him furious. “You two! Put them down!” He said walking to them looking serious.

“And what will you do if we don’t?” One of the jocks asked.

“We’re two, you’re one, we can easily beat you up.” The other said.

Jeff’s lips curled up in a grin. “Then do,” He simply said letting his bag fall to the ground.

Nick was petrified looking at Jeff and then to the jocks, they let Nick fall to the ground and he yelped as his back collided with the hard concrete.

One of the jocks, moved closer to Jeff and pulled his hand back only swing it forward again to punch Jeff. With one quick move Jeff grabbed his hand as it was close to his face, twisted the jock’s arm and punched him right between the legs, strongly. This caused the jock to gasp loudly and fall to the ground nearly crying with pain. Jeff looked up at the other. “And you? Aren’t you going to do anything?” He asked looking at the jock like he was really stupid, well he actually was.

The jock groaned and ran to Jeff to tackle him, Jeff let him do it, ignoring the blinding pain that hit him, so he could kick the other over his head and getting up again, fixing his leather jacket. Jeff looked down at the two boys, one was holding his crotch rolling on the ground in pain the other was laid down hissing and not daring to move so Jeff wouldn’t do anything else. Jeff shrugged and grabbed his bag before going to Nick and extending a hand to him since he was still on the ground looking at the jocks completely frozen.

“You alright?” Jeff asked.

Nick blinked and looked up at Jeff, nodding quickly and getting up without Jeff’s help. Jeff sighed a bit and drove the extended hand to his hair to run his hand along it.

“Thanks, I guess. But you didn’t have to do that.” Nick said looking everywhere but Jeff.

“Really?! Even after this?” Jeff said incredulous. “Fine! Whatever! Next time I’ll let them dump you.” Jeff grumbled reaching for the electronic cigarette that was in his bag and lighting it up as he walked to his car, covering the best way he could how much his whole body seemed to be on fire.

Nick looked down at his feet, not sure how to feel, he had some mixed feelings about Jeff, he saved him from situations like this but then he always followed him around making him terribly uncomfortable. Besides Nick still hated that he had to take all the bullying but Jeff didn’t just because he had adopted this image. Though after seeing what he had seen he was not sure if the blond would be bullied anyway. Where did he learn to do those things? Nick would love to learn it too, so he could defend himself, but he was sure when the moment arrived he wouldn’t be able to, anyway.

One of the jocks whined, making Nick jump and yelp. He then walked away quickly before they would get up and remember what they were doing before.

Jeff waited a couple of hours leaned to his car on his house’s front yard, smoking. It was still too soon for his mother to be home and he wanted to be too high on drugs before he would come in, that way he wouldn’t be in pain.

He turned the cigarette off and kept it in his pocket before he slowly walked to the house. Jeff entered silently, an habit he had won over the years. He walked calmly to his room before someone grabbed him by his hair strongly and pushed him to the floor. Jeff cried out and fell against the couch.

“Where have you been?!” His mother shouted. “You should be home for hours!”

“It’s not like you care.” Jeff growled earning a kick.

“You’re a stupid excuse of a person! You are completely worthless!”

Jeff flinched at her words holding his shoulder, where she had kicked him. “I know, I know! It would be much better if I had died and your precious daughter had survived!” Jeff shouted tears swelling in his eyes.

“How do you dare talking with me like that?” Jeff’s mother slapped him hard across the face.

The taste of blood spread all over Jeff’s mouth as his lip was bleeding he tried to crawl away from his mother but she ended up kicking him again.

Jeff hated this. He hated this woman that treat him so bad only because he wasn’t the girl she wanted. He hated that no matter how much she could hurt him, Jeff could never reply simply because it was his mother. Something made him freeze and all the years he had learning self defence would go down the sink. He hated her even more for that.

Jeff’s mother grabbed him from his hair again and pulled him up, Jeff let out a sharp cry not even listening to the awful words she was telling him. Jeff pushed her hard, making her stumble before going as fast as he could to his room locking himself inside it.

Jeff didn’t even get to the bed, his mother had followed him and was now shouting at his door, he leaned to the door, pulling his knees up as much as they would go without hurting too much and cried desperately just wanting to get out of there forever.

Jeff’s mother quitted eventually and around that time Jeff dropped on the floor from exhaustion and pain. He whined and soon he blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick came back home thinking about the day he had. It hadn’t been a good day. But there was something tickling inside him. He wasn’t sure what to feel about Jeff. He still didn’t like him. But he felt, after so many times that Jeff had helped Nick, he somehow owes him. He didn’t want to owe Jeff. But at the same time Jeff was always terrifying Nick by pushing him against walls and lockers whispering those dirty things that Nick hated so much. He felt so uncomfortable. He usually would have anxiety attacks after Jeff let him go. It could be even just after a comment from him that would be about his body or how Nick looked.

Jeff didn’t know Nick and therefore he shouldn’t make this kind of jokes. People never know when they are going to hit a nerve on another person. Or how far that person is from making a mistake. Jeff didn’t probably do it to make Nick feel bad, and truth is, he doesn’t know about Nick’s social anxiety. But Nick has the right to keep that for himself and he has also the right to walk around the school without being picked on.

Nick thought a lot about that situation. Did he owe Jeff? If yes, what should he do? He made dinner and set up the table before sitting and looking down at the table’s wood as he kept thinking about that.

“Nicky, I’m home!” Nick smiled widely and got up from the chair to go hug his mum. “How was your day, sweetheart?” She asked with a kind smile.

“It-it was okay.” Nick nodded a bit. “Where’s ima?” He asked looking over the woman’s shoulder.

“She’s just parking the car. We’re sorry we’re so late, today, but-“

“I know, you had a late meeting and ima went to pick you up. You told me this morning.” Nick smiled.

Nick’s mum smiled softly. “I’m just going to make dinner, it’s late and I’m hungry.”

“Oh I did it! It’s all set up.” Nick smiled widely and then the front door opened again and Nick went to hug his mother.

“Hello, Nicky!” She said with a wide smile hugging her son tight in her arms. “Hmm, smells good!”

“I made dinner!” Nick said and pulled his mothers to the table. He breathed deeply and happily. He felt already much better, he felt safe when he was around them.

Nick loves his mothers from the bottom of his heart, he knew who was actually his biological mother, but it didn’t matter to Nick. They were both his mothers, and he loved them both none the less. He always felt protected and secure around them, he told them everything because he trusted them that much. He called one ima and the other mum. Ima, more known as Lia, was a dark haired woman with hazel eyes. She was Nick’s biologic mother. And Nick’s other mother was Catherine, a red head woman, with big green eyes and lots of freckles on her cheeks and nose. They were both very beautiful ladies, about the same high as Nick, just slightly taller. Nick liked to say he was actually a mix of them both since he had the ima’s dark hair and hazel eyes but mum’s big eyes and freckles. Also his personality was a mix of the personalities of both women, they said Nick had picked up the best of each of their personality.

“So... How was school, Nick?” Lia asked sitting down at the table.

“It-it was good,” Nick mumbled not looking up at her and serving his mothers before serving himself.

“No incidents?” Catherine asked looking up at Nick.

“I-I... I had one.” Nick muttered fixing his glasses.

Lia put down her fork, that was already on its way to her mouth. “What happened?” She looked over at Nick.

“I snapped at this guy and there were too many people watching so I freaked out after.” Nick said taking a larger breath. “But it was okay, I got a hand of myself once I was alone and yeah...”

Catherine reached for Nick’s hand. “Do you need to see Dr Hughes again?” She asked softly.

Nick shook his head. “No. I am okay. It just happens sometimes, but I am working on it.” He gave his mother a small smile.

Catherine glanced at Lia who nodded a bit. They turned again to their dinner, the three of them chatting casually about something else.

After dinner Lia went to clean up the kitchen and Nick went to bed, he was really tired, he had had a long tiring day and needed some sleep. Also he hoped after he slept on it he’d know what to do about Jeff. After Nick had dressed his pyjamas, brushed his teeth, he laid down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling as he thought. Nick ended up falling asleep since he was exhausted.

Nick woke up in the morning with a yawn and an idea in mind. He was going to give Jeff a chance. _Only_ because after so many times he had saved him and after the previous day when he kicked those jocks’ asses and Nick didn’t even thank, Nick did feel like he owed Jeff and he hated that feeling. Now he knew what Katniss meant when she felt she owed Peeta, and it wasn’t a nice feeling. Except that in her case it was a bit more dramatic since they were both in life/death situation. Nick was already feeling the anxiety tingle his insides just at the thought of having to talk with Jeff.

But Jeff didn’t appear in school.

Neither did he appear the next day.

It was Friday now, and Nick was slowly losing his courage to actually direct his word to Jeff. It was the first class and he was sat on his usual seat looking down at the table waiting for the bell to ring and the classroom to fill in. Someone sat beside Nick and he glanced up quickly to find Jeff smoking, his usual electronic cigarette between his lips, but there was something different. Jeff seemed to be off. Nick couldn’t explain well, but it was like he was there but at the same time he wasn’t.

“Hi,” Nick mumbled.

Jeff’s eyes flickered to Nick but he looked forward again.

Nick bit his lip. “You missed two days of school, is everything alright?” Nick mumbled trying to be casual and trying to pick up a conversation.

“And why would you care?” Jeff groaned. “Oh that’s right, you don’t. You made it perfectly clear last time we saw each other, Duval.” Jeff said in a voice tone that made Nick flinch. Jeff led the cigarette to his lips again and took a large drag.

“I-I just wanted to-“

Jeff growled and got up going to seat a few tables behind to sit. Nick looked back at him before turning forward quickly, feeling sick inside. He had made a huge effort to actually talk with Jeff, and get out of his bubble for a while only to Jeff treat him like that. Nick couldn’t help to think it was his own fault.

Through the rest of the morning Nick felt like his stomach was tied in a tight knot. He wanted to try to talk with Jeff again and get this over with. If Jeff sent Nick away again, he would be with clean conscience and would never have to speak with the blond bad boy again.

Nick waited for P.E which would be the next lesson he would have with Jeff. He arrived the locker rooms before everyone else dressed and waited to see if Jeff would appear, but then everyone started arriving and Nick thought it was better to just go to the gym because even if Jeff appeared the locker room was too packed for them to talk, and Nick was starting to get too uncomfortable anyway.

Jeff arrived to P.E really late, the teacher made him run a few extra laps but of course, Jeff being Jeff and especially Jeff being in a bad mood just rolled his eyes at the coach and took a large drag from his cigarette before going to seat on the bleachers.

Nick waited patiently for the end of the class trying to avoid to the maximum being pushed and kicked by his classmates as they played soccer. He noticed Jeff going back to the locker rooms before the end of class and sighed a bit, he’d have to wait a day more.

He let himself stay a bit behind so everyone would shower before Nick and leave, leaving Nick alone to shower and dress.

Nick walked to the locker rooms after coach told him he really had to go before the next class came in. Nick peaked into the room before he entered, glad to find it empty. He hummed a song as he went to his locker to reach for his glasses so he could grab all he needed to be able to shower. He noticed that Jeff’s things were still there. He rose an eyebrow and looked around for him but he didn’t find him so he quickly went to shower before Jeff came back and went to dress.

He dressed silently like he was used do, taking his time since he didn’t have any classes after P.E.

The sound of a door slamming shut echoed around the lockers room making Nick jump. But before he could ask who was in there Jeff appeared, only with a towel around his waist. “Damn people, they could have at least give me time to dress.” He grumbled under his breath as he fixed the towel, looking down at it.

Nick’s eyes grew to their double size. “What happened to you?!” He shrieked. Jeff’s body was covered in bruises and scratches. He was in a pretty bad state.

Jeff looked up and froze, completely horrified. “What are you doing here?!” He asked, still shocked. “You were supposed to be gone!” Jeff finally snapped out of his frozen state and reached for his t-shirt to put on.

“I-I... I was still-“ Nick stuttered out, trying to explain. “What happened to you? Do you need help? Do you need to go to the hospital?” The words left Nick’s mouth in a rush, without him even realising.

“It doesn’t matter! Go away, now!” Jeff shouted at Nick who flinched.

“But-but... Your body is covered in bruises.” Nick said in a small voice.

“Like you care anyway.” Jeff rolled his eyes. “Go away!” He repeated.

Nick got up but hesitantly stood in the same place, feeling the anxiety rising inside him again but not being able to move.

Jeff rose an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. “You need anything?”

Nick was about to answer but he couldn’t. He could barely breathe and his heart was racing on his chest, he should have never tried to speak with Jeff. He didn’t understand. And he never would. Before Nick could even tell he was hyperventilating as he tried desperately to breathe.

“Are you okay?” Jeff looked at Nick worriedly and placed his hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” Nick shrieked and flinched away from him. “I-I just wanted to try to make it better!”

“What is wrong with you?” Jeff asked, actually worried as Nick didn’t look well at all.

Nick flailed his arms, his face showing slight annoyance. How could Jeff not understand for Heaven’s sake? He grabbed his bag quickly and walked out of there, leaving Jeff confused behind him. Nick walked out of the locker rooms so he could calm down, alone.

Jeff watched Nick leave, a bit puzzled. What had just happened with the other boy? He overreacted a bit, no? Sure, Jeff was a bit cold and mean, but... He wasn’t that bad, right? Jeff sighed loudly and sat on the bench running a hand through his blond hair. “Fuck my life.” He mumbled. Jeff was such a mess, he didn’t even know why he was treating Nick like that. He kind of knew, but it wasn’t Nick’s fault, at all.

It was not Nick’s fault that Jeff got late and got beaten up. It was Jeff’s fault his own. If he had arrived in time his mother wouldn’t have been waiting for him and so he would be able to sneak into his room and lock himself up before she knew. But he could never guess she hadn’t gone to work. Jeff got up to quickly dress. He didn’t want to repeat what happened that day so he had to hurry up.

In about thirty minutes Jeff was stepping inside his house. He made no noises as he walked to the kitchen, he was used to it by now so he was able to do something to eat without making much noise. He was climbing the stairs to his room, plate in hand and taking his bag with him as he had not wasted time before to take it to his room. He was almost on the top of the stairs as the front door opened. Jeff looked over his shoulder before running to his room not letting his mother having any type of reaction. It was not like his mother beat him up every day, she only did it when she was upset with whatever happened in her day, or when she remembered about Jeff’s sister. But as the years passed, Jeff learned to not take chances, he learned to lock the door of his room or bathroom if he was there, and he learned how to be quiet no matter what if he was outside his safe zone.

He had thought she would be at home already, but he was glad that he had hurried enough to now be locked in his room. Jeff ate calmly before going to his bed, smoking and playing bass calmly until he fell asleep.

On Saturday Jeff woke up early with the alarm clock. He sat up and put the bass on its case before pulling his arms up to stretch his back. He reached for the electronic cigarette and turned it on. Another day ahead. Jeff sighed. He was not sure he wanted to actually do what he had to or just stay in bed and sleep through the whole day. His body was still pretty messed up from the last beating.

As Jeff walked to the bathroom to go brush his teeth and wash his face he thought of Nick. He didn’t know what to do anymore about him, especially now that he had seen his body. He still liked him, but he just didn’t know what he should do anymore, after seeing him flip in the hallway and seeing him freak out in the locker room, maybe he was actually doing Nick a favour by stepping away.

Jeff sighed sadly as he closed the bathroom door behind him and locked it. Did he actually terrorise Nick, like he had said? But if he actually did, why did Nick try to speak with Jeff in class? He even asked if everything was alright... Jeff ran a hand through his hair. He felt like an asshole for answering to him that coldly. Maybe if he had answered things would get slightly better between them. But he couldn’t speak with Nick anymore, he didn’t want Nick to feel bad. That wasn’t his point, ever. If Nick didn’t direct his words to Jeff again, Jeff wouldn’t go after him either.

Jeff took off the clothes from the previous day looking down at his body. The bruises were much better and there was no sign of an open wound. He quickly brushed his teeth and washed his face before returning quietly to his room, bringing his clothes along.

Not even an hour later Jeff was already stepping inside his gym, his electronic cigarette tucked on his ear and with some knee-long shorts and black wife beater shirt that covered all his bruises since he had none on his arms. He had only one on his shoulder but many things could cause it.

“Jeff...! ‘Sup?” Jeff turned to see Jonathan and smiled a bit.

“Hey.”

Jonathan’s smile fell at the sight of the bruise, then he noticed the cigarette. “Still?”

Jeff sighed. “I just can’t do anything about it.” He mumbled.

“You know what I think about it.” Jonathan said letting his bag on one of the corners of the wide room.

“It’s not like what you think, okay? Just... Forget it. Where are the others? Will we get this started or not?”

“They are at the regionals, remember? I came just for you.” Jonathan shrugged.

“That’s what they always say...” Jeff grinned earning a playful punch on the shoulder that wasn’t bruised, and he could swear he had heard Jonathan mumble a “pervet”.

“Do you have more bruises?” Jonathan asked in a concerned tone. Jeff shook his head. “Lift the shirt, then.”

“Go slowly, dude... I am still sore from last time.” Jeff teased with a wink, he just really didn’t want to show Jonathan the bruises.

“You’ve got more, don’t you?” Jonathan sighed, he just knew Jeff too well. Jeff nodded a bit but as he didn’t show them, Jonathan dropped the subject, he didn’t want to push Jeff.

Jeff and Jonathan were pretty close friends, they knew each other since Jeff was seven, when he started going there. Jonathan by then was still just learning, he was just four years older than Jeff, but now he had the gym for himself and it was him who taught the newbies and trained with Jeff. But even being very close friends – Jonathan was actually the only person that knew how Jeff really was, he was the only one who saw beyond the badboy/asshole image -, Jonathan had no idea what was really going on with Jeff, he thought he was getting beaten up by people at school because he was gay, and that was what Jeff wanted him to think.

Before they started their practice Jeff smoked and then he held his need for hours until it was over and they both were dripping sweat to the ground and had the great feeling of work well done inside them. They always felt like that after a productive practice. Then they went to the locker rooms for showers, chatting casually about something random.


	3. Chapter 3

“I brought you red velvet…” A soft voice came from the door.

“I said I wasn’t hungry, ima...” Nick mumbled from his bed, where he had been since he had arrived home. His eyes were still slightly puffy and he felt numb. He didn’t feel angry, frustrated or anxious anymore. Just tired and numb, like he always felt after a strong attack.

“Not even for red velvet cake with cream cheese icing?” She said tryingly and stepped inside the room, placing the plate on the bedside table and sitting on the bed beside Nick.

“Nope.” Nick sighed.

Lia gasped mockingly and pulled Nick straight up, cupping his face on her hands. “Oh no! You must be losing your mind! Don’t leave me Nick, I’ll find a cure!” She said in a playful tone holding her son tight against her.

Nick let out a tired chuckled. “I’m okay, ima... I am just not hungry, and you’re not letting me breathe.” He said lowly and then she let him go.

“But tell us what is wrong...” Lia asked softly.

“I just had a difficult day...” Nick mumbled and curled to his mother who sighed a bit and held her son like he was a baby again. Nick felt protected and safe, he glanced up at Lia and took a deeper breath. “Is just this boy in school... It’s kind of complicated... He helps me to stop others from bullying me but at the same time... He has no boundaries and it makes me uncomfortable. I snapped at him the other day and today I was in the locker rooms and I was packing my stuff to go and he appeared and I freaked again...” Nick shook his head and moved closer to Lia who also held him closer.

“Do you like this boy?” She asked after a few minutes of silence.

“No. I really don’t. He makes me have anxiety attacks too often...” Nick mumbled.

“Does he know you have this problem?” Lia asked stroking Nick’s hair soothingly.

“No. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to tell him, he’d probably just make fun, and I don’t want that. I don’t want to tell.”

“Then he’s not doing on purpose... Have you thought in that?” Lia asked still in her soothing voice.

“I have... That was why I tried to talk with him but... He shut me out. He said before that he wanted to be my friend but when I tried he just...” Nick sighed. “This is why I don’t have friends. I am terrible with this stuff...” He sighed.

“Don’t say that Nicky, you must have friends...” Lia said holding Nick and looking at him with sad eyes, she just wanted to help her son and she hated to see him like this.

“I don’t. You know I don’t. Everyone thinks I’m a nerd and just leave me aside, they don’t even bother to try to get to know me.” Nick mumbled small tears appearing in his eyes.

“Shh, baby...” Lia rocked Nick back and forward as her son started crying. “High school is hard but it will get so much better... I promise you.”

“I just feel so alone sometimes! You and mum are the only people who care about me and the only people I am comfortable with and sometimes I just...” Nick was cut by a heartbreaking sob before he broke into more sobs and tears. He didn’t even know he had the energy to cry right now, but he was and it was making him feel even worse.

Lia rocked Nick and murmured soothing words to him trying to calm him down. But it wasn’t working. Eventually Nick calmed down and was reduced to small sniffles and soft hiccups. Lia kept holding her son who quickly fell asleep in her arms, drained from the long tiring day.

Lia laid Nick down and covered him with the blankets, lying beside him for a few minutes before kissing his temple and getting up going downstairs to the living room where Catherine was laid on the couch staring at the ceiling.

Catherine heard movement and looked up. “So?” She asked.

Lia sighed and raised Catherine’s feet to sit and place them back on her lap. “He had a bad day... Out of a bad high school...” She said.

“Did someone hurt him again?” Catherine asked worried.

“No. But... You know how it is, love... People are stupid and close minded...” Lia shrugged a bit leaning back against the couch and looking over at her wife.

“Do you think Nick’s problems might be because he doesn’t have a man figure in his life?” Catherine asked biting her lip.

“What? No! Of course not! You’d be surprised with the amount of teenagers who nowadays have social anxiety. Nick is a great balanced kid, he doesn’t do drugs, he doesn’t drink, he didn’t get any girl pregnant, he’s nice, polite... He just really has some problems with his social skills and the fact that everyone still sees homosexuality as a bad thing doesn’t help. But he’ll be fine, I mean, we are fine aren’t we? We survived high school, so why won’t he?” Lia said with a soft smile.

“Yes, you’re right… I just hope he gets through it. I just wished he wasn’t alone, you know? I mean, we are here but he needs more people in his life.” Catherine said and Lia nodded in agreement.

“I don’t think he’ll be alone for much longer. He told me about this boy… It’s all very complicated but I think at the end of the day, they’ll be friends.” Lia smiled a bit.

“That’s all I want for Nicky. Some friends and happiness…” Catherine nodded.

“He’ll get them and he’ll be happy, you’ll see…” Lia smiled and leaned down to kiss the ginger woman.

Catherine smiled and kissed Lia back. “Come on, I’m tired, let’s sleep.” She asked and slowly got up.

Nick was having a dreamless sleep, his body was too exhausted to even move. He woke up around five a.m. with his stomach growling with hunger. Nick groaned a bit and opened his eye, on the bedside table there was a big red blur, Nick frowned and reached for his glasses. It was the red velvet cake ima had tried to give him. He sat up slowly and reached for the plate as he fixed his glasses with the other hand.

Nick ate slowly, nibbling on the cake and pushing it down his throat with the help of the glass of water he always had on the bedside table. He still felt numb and tired, so when he finished the cake he laid down and slept for a while longer.

The plan was to spend his Saturday resting, not actually having any motivation to do anything else, anyway.

“Okay! Enough! Come on! Get up!” Catherine entered Nick’s room clapping her hands.

Nick groaned and glanced out of the window. “It’s night, it’s time to sleep.”

“No! It’s actually not, you just were too lazy to open your curtains. We are taking you out to put a smile on that face! Come on, dress up. You have five minutes! If you’re not ready in five minutes we’re dragging you out like that.” She warned and left the room.

Nick whined and hugged his pillow but then he remembered how his mothers were and got up to go take a shower, he would take longer than five minutes but he was not going to go out without his daily shower.

He went down stairs as he was done. “I’m ready.” He mumbled and sighed.

Lia smiled widely and got her jacket before she and Catherine tangled one of their arms with each of Nick’s. “Let’s go.” Lia said and led them out to the car.

“So, you’re making me go out to a car drive?” Nick asked.

“Of course not! But we need to go there by car.” Catherine answered and opened the door for Nick.

Nick sighed and stepped inside leaning against the door as it was closed and buckled his belt.

The ride was long, really long. Nick ended up falling asleep only waking up as they were getting there. He cleaned the small trail of drool with the back of his hand and adjusted his glasses before his eyes grew to the double of their normal size. “You made a four hour drive just for me?!” He shrieked as he recognised very well the Six Flags parking lot.

Lia grinned. “Nope, it was actually only three hours and so, you know I like to go fast.”

“Indeed...” Catherine hummed and winked at her wife before getting out of the car Nick quickly following.

Nick jumped slightly, like a little kid. He was just so happy. Lia and Catherine smiled automatically at the sight of their son feeling better already.

The rest of the day was spent with the three of them going in rides, Nick’s mood quickly switching to a cheerful one. He just loved that place so much he couldn’t even explain it.

Nick’s favourite rides were all those where he would be upside down, so he made them all go to those at least twice, even though that way he had no time to go to all. But he didn’t mind, he was just having a good time and going to whatever ride he felt like going was what made him happy, not going to every single ride.

When the night started closing in Lia and Catherine started pulling Nick out of the park. “But-but... There’s still time!” He whined.

The women grinned but didn’t back off their decision. Nick huffed but went to the car with them and soon they were returning to Lima. As they were halfway there Lia started pulling up through a different road, Nick frowned and only when he started recognising it he squealed. “Oh my! Really?” He jumped on his seat.

Catherine chuckled. “You seem like a five year old, Nicky.”

“I don’t care!” He said happily. “Best day ever!” He said excitedly.

In the same second the car stopped Nick jumped out of it. “I’m gonna get my red panda plushie!”

“Not so fast young boy!” Lia called out with a chuckle. “What are the rules?”

Nick whined and flailed his arms around like a little kid. “Ima!” He dragged the ‘a’.

Catherine looked at him like warning him.

“Okay! In a fair if I lose myself from you I’ll meet you in the hot dog stand. Don’t talk to strangers and... If I win twice the second prise is yours.” Nick quickly said.

“That’s my boy, got get them!” Catherine chuckled and quickly gave Nick some money before he ran away to the fair.

“It’s good to finally see him happy. He’s still such a kid by heart.” Lia said walking around the car to Catherine.

“Yeah, he is... Come on I wanna go to the mirror house!” Catherine said happily and pulled Lia, who laughed.

Not much later the three of them met in front of the hot dog stand. Nick had a big red panda plush in his arms and a unicorn. “I won this one for you!” He said happily giving the unicorn to his mothers. They smiled widely and Lia held it.

“Let’s eat something and then go around our favourite places like always?” Catherine asked and the other two nodded.

They got home it was past three a.m., Nick went straight to his room and laid down hugging the red panda to him with a smile, the memories of him in the big wheel with his mothers and of them winning all types of prizes in different booths still very fresh in his mind. He had loved that day, the fair was pretty empty so Nick didn’t have any problems with the number of people there and it was just perfect. Nick got to spend an amazing time with his mothers and go to his favourite places, ever. Soon, he was asleep, completely exhausted.

Sunday was like any other Sunday. Nick made his homework, ate, read, and did pretty much whatever he felt like doing.

Having the motivation to get up on Monday was much harder though. Nick didn’t want to face Jeff and was starting to feel down again so he simply turned and reached for his new plush, hugging it tight. Eventually Nick had to get up and dress.

Lia took him to school and kissed his forehead before he got out of the car, head low, like always, as he walked to the building. The hallways were still pretty empty but as soon as Nick looked up and saw Jeff leaned to his locker he tried to turn around and go away, but it was too late. “Hey, Nick! Wait up!” Jeff called out blowing water vapour to the air.

Nick cursed himself mentally but stopped. “What do you want?” He asked in a small voice as Jeff approached.

“Are you okay?” Jeff asked looking down at the nerd as he adjusted his glasses.

“Yes. I’m peachy.” The said nerd mumbled.

“Is just that... After Friday I was a bit worried.” Jeff said.

Nick raised an eyebrow and finally looked up at Jeff. “Why?”

“Because... You really didn’t look well. I felt bad for speaking with you like that.” Jeff confessed.

“You-you were?” Nick asked puzzled. “I really don’t understand you.” He added lower, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Excuse me? What did you say?” Jeff asked. He didn’t actually hear what Nick had said, there was no sarcasm behind Jeff’s words.

“I don’t understand you” Nick repeated a bit louder, but still shyly.

Jeff sighed. This was such a mess. “What do you not understand?” He asked patiently.

“Your attitude towards me. First you terrorise me-” Nick said hugging his books close, he was admired how calm he was right now, he hoped he’d stay like that.

“I never meant to terrorise you.” Jeff interrupted. “Now go on,” He waved a bit.

“That’s the thing! You say that but why didn’t you simply leave me alone when I asked? Why do you have the necessity to push me against walls and do those terrible things?” And there it was. Nick started feeling his insides tingling at the memories. “I’m out of here.” He mumbled and started to walk away.

Jeff stood in his place watching Nick leave. Good question he had made. Why did Jeff always continue to go after Nick when he clearly didn’t like it? Jeff felt sick in his stomach. He was no better than the bullies that went after Nick. He was no better than his mother. Nick was right Jeff has been terrorise him this whole time. There were no words to describe how disgusted with himself Jeff felt at the moment.

 He gripped the electronic cigarette in his hand before he went outside, he needed some air.

In class, Nick, couldn’t stop thinking about Jeff. He still had that feeling of owing Jeff and it was starting to bother him a lot. He just wanted to stop feeling like that, Jeff didn’t deserve it!

Especially after how Jeff made Nick feel after their meet in the locker rooms. The image of Jeff’s body all bruised still made Nick nervous in his stomach. How did Jeff get those? While defending Nick? In that case Nick owed Jeff even more! Nick started feeling a bit anxious. What could he do now? Jeff was all bruised because of Nick, which was probably why Jeff had been so cold last week. It was all Nick’s fault and Jeff probably hated Nick for it.

Nick wasn’t sure why he cared so much if Jeff hated him or not, maybe because Jeff was actually the only person that bothered to talk with Nick, even if ninety percent of the time that wasn’t a good thing. But Jeff had noticed Nick, for Jeff, Nick wasn’t just another nerd in the crowd. For the better or worse reasons, Jeff _did_ notice Nick and he _did_ try to be somehow friends. Apparently that was what he said he wanted. And Nick can’t deny how much he wants a friend.

“Nicholas? Are you okay?” The teacher asked as Nick looked white as a sheet and seemed ready to throw up. He had missed completely the bell for the end of the class, there was nobody left in the classroom.

He quickly nodded and got up to leave the classroom, hooking his bag on his shoulder.

Nick wasn’t paying attention to the way, he was letting his feet lead the way, he really wasn’t feeling like having class right now, and it was not like one class would make much difference anyway.

When Nick noticed he was outside, he sighed a bit and walked to the picnic tables to sit for a while, he took his glasses off and rested his head on his arms, closing his eyes and just appreciating the silence and quietness. But then Nick started to hear some quiet sobs and sniffles and straightened up reaching for his glasses so he could see who was there.

His heart sank at the sight of the blond bad boy sat on the floor, his back against the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest and his face hidden there. Nick got up and hesitantly walked to Jeff sitting beside him.

Jeff’s head snapped up before more tears rolled down his eyes. “I am so sorry, Nick! I swear I never meant it!” Jeff sobbed.

Nick bit his lip, he had never seen Jeff this... Broken. He always looked strong, even when Nick had seen him half naked with all those bruises. “It’s-it’s okay.” Nick mumbled looking down at his lap.

Jeff shook his head. “I am such a mess. Why did you even bother coming here?”

“Because you’re not completely bad. Or are you forgetting about the countless of times you stopped the bullies from hurting me?” Nick said not looking at Jeff so he would somehow stay calm.

“But then you say I terrorise you.” Jeff said brokenly. He still couldn’t believe he had been that mean to Nick, the person he liked. Nick always asked Jeff to stop but he never actually took that seriously, he should have. But what hurt him the most was that he was turning to be just like his mother and that made him sick.

“I...” Nick took a deep breath. “What if we forget that? I’ll forget about those times if you swear you won’t do it again.” Nick mumbled, feeling quite scared of opening up that much to Jeff, but again, Jeff was the closest to what Nick could call a friend, and Nick felt so alone, maybe if Jeff doesn’t terrorise him they can be friends.

“I won’t!” Jeff shook his head. “It’s a promise!”

Nick smiled a bit. “Good... Then I guess we can slowly sort this out.” Nick mumbled. “I mean, you said you wanted to be my friend, if that is really like you said, I think we can slowly start being friends.” He said even lower, hugging his knees tighter to his chest.

Jeff frowned a bit. “You’re sure? I would like that, but... You don’t have to be my friend, I know I was a real jackass...” He muttered.

“It’s okay as long as we go slow... Don’t expect me to go all “best friends forever” so soon...” Nick said ironically.

Jeff chuckled a bit, cleaning with the back of his hand the track of the tears that had fallen down his cheeks before. “Getting ironic already?” He asked with a small smile, resting his chin on his knees, looking over at Nick.

Nick shrugged a bit and smiled shyly before getting up. “I’m going to class now.” He said and got up.

Jeff reached for his cigarette. “Sure, see you around.” He said and Nick nodded.

Through the rest of the day Nick made his best to keep his mind blank. Only when he stepped inside his house he let himself breathe deeply and think about the day he had.

Nick had mixed feelings about the day he had, for one side he was terrified to open up to Jeff, he looked really sorry for what he has been doing for the past few months, but was he really? What if he returned to the old ways? Nick surely hoped not, just the idea, made his insides start to tingle in a bad way. But from another hand, it was nice to know that he wasn’t that alone anymore, in a very messed up way, he had a friend. Nick smiled and laid on the couch. A friend... Finally.


	4. Chapter 4

On the following day, Nick was really anxious about going to school. The idea of Jeff being his friend had settled in and now he was scared. He didn’t know how he should behave and he was afraid it was all joke for Jeff and today he’d tease Nick and make fun of him for really thinking that there was a possibility of Jeff ever being Nick’s friend. In his head Nick didn’t even think about Jeff crying and all that, he just felt more and more anxious.

Nick was putting his books in his locker, his head low and trying to be as invisible as possible. He cursed himself for not being able to pretend he was sick, he knew he would feel too guilty and would probably giggle when his mothers asked him how he felt, because Nick was that much of a bad liar. Nick sighed, he just didn’t want to be in school that day. He was scared of what would happen.

“Hey,” Nick heard Jeff and jumped and shrieked a bit. He turned around with wide eyes and adjusted his glasses quickly. Jeff was with a smile, but all that Nick could see was a malicious grin.

“H-hey.” Nick mumbled looking everywhere but Jeff, his heart racing already.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Jeff frowned a bit.

Nick hugged the books tight to him and closed his eyes. “Go ahead, you can make fun of me now.” He said almost hiding behind his books.

Jeff’s frown stayed on his face, but now he was just confused. What was Nick talking about? Making fun? “What? I am not going to make fun of you...”

Nick opened an eye. “You’re... not?”

“Uh... No. That would ruin the whole point of trying to make things up and be friends with you, wouldn’t it?” He asked with an eyebrow raised.

Nick took a large breath. “So you _do_ want to be my friend? It wasn’t a joke?” He asked shyly, hiding behind the books.

Jeff smiled sadly at Nick as he saw him this insecure, his own fault. If Jeff hadn’t bothered Nick for so long Nick would be more comfortable around him. Jeff lowered Nick’s books a little as they were covering half of his face already. For a second Nick looked really out of his comfort zone, he looked down at his shoes like that would help before looking up again. “I want to be your friend, yesterday was not a joke.” Jeff assured him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Jeff noticed Nick hugging the books tighter, his cheeks flushing and his breaths becoming quicker, but it wasn’t in a good way. Usually Jeff would pick these details up and think that Nick was crushing on Jeff but he knew it wasn’t it, so he took his hand off. Nick quickly took a deep breath and started calming down, his face returning to his usual freckled pale skin tone.

“Let’s go to class?” Jeff asked as Nick seemed calm again.

Nick blinked confused at Jeff. “Oh right... Chemistry.” He mumbled and then nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.” He said and closed his locker before starting to walk to the classroom, Jeff walking by his side.

They sat side by side, Nick waiting for Jeff to turn into his old self again, as they were alone. But he didn’t and slowly Nick was able to start relaxing a bit.

Jeff was playing with his pen between his fingers when Nick decided the silence was starting to get awkward. “Where did you learn how to fight?” He asked quietly.

Jeff glanced up at him. “I felt the necessity of protecting myself so I joined these karate classes and the teacher, also known as sensei, eventually started teaching me self defence... So yeah...”

“Oh... Karate? That’s cool...! You know that karate-do means ‘the path of the free hands’...” Nick said with a nod.

“Or the path of the empty hands...” Jeff added with a smile.

Nick smiled shyly. “It’s the same thing.” Jeff smiled back and nodded a bit.

“How do you know?” Jeff asked, curiously after a while.

“Know what?”Nick blinked.

“That thing about karate? And even that you can call it karate-do? You don’t practise it, do you?” Jeff asked watching Nick.

Nick shook his head. “No, but... I like to read and learn stuff...” He shrugged a bit and then bit his lip. “I know, I’m a nerd.” He looked down sadly.

“It’s cool.” Jeff said casually.

Nick looked over his glasses at Jeff and adjusted them as a smile spread on his lips. Jeff smiled softly as he saw Nick smile. It was nice to know he was making Nick feel positive feelings. It felt much better than to tease Nick.

“I’ve noticed you don’t have your cigarette.” Nick said after a while, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh... A friend of mine told me he didn’t like it, so it’s in my bag, I smoked before class and I will only smoke after...” Jeff said a small smile growing on his face.

Nick blushed a bit and turned forward. “I see...” He mumbled, a small smile on his face, he couldn’t believe that Jeff who was a walking water vapour train was not smoking because of Nick. Well, at least Nick thought it was because of him.

Jeff smiled at him but didn’t say anything more, he didn’t want to push things. On the other side Nick couldn’t stop smiling, he didn’t feel uncomfortable or anxious. It felt really good. Sure he still didn’t feel one hundred percent confident around Jeff, but this was a good start. Or re start.

The teacher came in the classroom as the bell rang, announcing he had the tests. Nick jumped a bit on his chair, looking a bit excited, he had studied a lot for that test, and even though he had a little freak out during it he was sure his grade would still be around his usual ‘A’.

The teacher, like always, started to hand the papers in alphabetic order, so Nick had to wait a bit. As he passed by their table to give Jeff his test he made a comment that left Nick wondering what grade he had, but he couldn’t see it because Jeff hid it from him. “The usual,” The teacher had said. “It’s a shame what happens during the lessons.”

“What grade did you have?” Nick asked lowly and curiously as the teacher moved on to another table.

Jeff shrugged. “Nothing special.”  He mumbled.

“Great job, Nick!” The teacher smiled as he handed Nick’s ‘A-‘ Nick bit the inside of his cheek. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t ruin your average.” The teacher quickly assured and Nick nodded, relieved.

After the teacher headed back to his desk and started making the correction of the test, that Nick knew that would take all class, he turned slightly to Jeff. “So what’s nothing especial to you?” He asked quietly.

Jeff glanced at Nick and rolled his eyes fondly. “Talking in class, Nicky? Are you turning into a rebel now?” Jeff asked resting his forearms on the table and looking at the teacher so he wouldn’t drag attention to them.

Nick blushed and turned forward again, adjusting his glasses. Jeff sighed and leaned a bit to Nick so no one would listen to him. “A” He muttered.

Nick jumped a little and his eyes grew to their double size before he turned to Jeff. “You’re joking!” He said lowly, under his breath.

“Why would I?” Jeff raised an eyebrow. “I am a bad boy but I am not stupid, I actually want to leave this town and do something with my life, you know?” Jeff said seriously.

Nick looked at Jeff in surprise, he really didn’t expect this. Nick never thought that Jeff gave a damn about school, he usually used that ‘I don’t give a damn’ attitude anyway.

“But... You miss classes all the time.” Nick frowned.

“Yeah, but I am lucky, I am a smart guy and I don’t need to study that much to have these grades.” Jeff grinned.

Nick nodded and turned forward still feeling a bit stunned. Wow, Jeff was an A student. Just like Nick! Then Nick started wondering. Why did Jeff act like he didn’t care then? Was it just so he wouldn’t be bullied? But if it was because of that why did he terrorise Nick before? Why didn’t he just leave him alone or start to be friends with Nick still making the bullies stay away? Nick was terribly puzzled about the boy he had beside him and that made him be nervous again. He didn’t know what he could count on. He didn’t know anything from Jeff because all he knew was a lie – Nick was a bit grateful for that. But it made him feel unease. He didn’t feel comfortable anymore. The feeling of not knowing what to count on made him sick in his stomach. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it at all.

“Nick? You’re a bit pale. Are you alright?” Jeff asked a while after.

Nick shut his eyes closed and nodded, pulling his book to hug it tight, like it was his lifeline. The bell rang and in one fast move, Nick, grabbed his books and walked out of the room quickly, going straight to the bathroom to lock himself in one of the cubicles. He heard Jeff screaming for him but didn’t stop or looked over his shoulder.

Nick stepped inside the cubicle and locked the door quickly, that was the only cubicle in which the toilet still had its cover so Nick placed his books there and sat, his hands pushing the walls beside him almost as to stop them from closing on him. Nick took a deep breath and then someone entered the bathroom, he quickly pulled his feet up even though it was useless, Jeff would see that his door was the only one closed.

“Nick?” Jeff knocked gently.

“Go away! I’m peeing!” Nick burst out, just wanting Jeff to go away again.

“You’re... peeing?” Jeff asked and Nick could almost see him arch his blond eyebrow.

“Y-yes.” Nick mumbled, turning red even if he wasn’t peeing but was just sat in there.

“Why is all so silent then?” Jeff folded his arms over his chest.

“It’s not!” Nick chirped and made a ‘sh’ sound trying to sound like pee hitting the toilet’s water but failing miserably.

Jeff covered his face so he wouldn’t laugh, having to actually stop breathing for a few seconds. He took a deep breath as he calmed down and walked to the cubicle beside Nick’s, climbing to the toilet so he could see Nick over it. “Hey.” He said with a small smile.

Nick looked up and shrieked. “Jeff! What if I was peeing?!”

Jeff chuckled. “You aren’t, are you? So there’s no problem... What’s wrong Nick?” He asked his grin turning into a concerned face. Nick hugged himself and shook his head. “Come on don’t make me sing like in that Mamma Mia movie...”

Nick rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t.” He mumbled burying his face on his knees.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t, but that’s because I don’t know the lyrics.” Jeff nodded. Nick chuckled softly. “Come on, just tell me...” Jeff asked again.

“I don’t know you...” Nick said shyly, frowning his eyebrows slightly and looking away from Jeff.

“Excuse me?” Jeff asked as he barely heard, Nick spoke really lowly.

“I don’t know you!” Nick repeated a bit louder but still not looking at Jeff. “The bits I thought I knew I don’t! It freaks me out!”

“Why?” Jeff tilted his head.

“Because I don’t know with what I can count on...” Nick mumbled, sighing.

“Oh, I see... Uhm, why don’t you come out so we can talk properly?” Jeff asked but Nick shook his head. “Okay... Look, Nick, the cold asshole you thought I was, is just a mask, I am not really like that but you’ll only get to know how I really am if you want...” Jeff said softly.

Nick hugged himself tight. “It-it’s not that I don’t want it... It’s just that I don’t know what to do... I never had anyone I could trust... Other than my family.” Nick mumbled.

“Can you come out so I don’t have to stand on a toilet? It’s truly uncomfortable...” Jeff asked and Nick chuckled a bit nodding and getting up, taking a couple of deep breaths before he noticed he wasn’t feeling anxious anymore. Nick smiled to himself, he might still not know Jeff completely but he liked how he was so far, and quickly Nick was starting to forget all his previous teasing and terrorising. How could he think of it? Jeff was here and being actually nice! It was almost impossible to think that he was the same person from a few weeks ago. Almost. Because Jeff _was_ that person, it might have been a mask but that didn’t mean it was completely gone. Nick started feeling that tingling feeling inside of him again, but then he stepped out of the cubicle and was welcomed by a kind smiling Jeff and it was like his heart and mind were in peace again.

Nick felt confused like he never felt before, the only people able to make Nick this peaceful were his mothers. He didn’t understand what was going on.

After a serious conversation between Jeff and Nick, Nick decided he definitely wanted to get to know Jeff better, this new Jeff at least. Jeff had warned him that for the others he would still be his old self because he couldn’t afford the bullying and beating, but he promised that he would never do what he used to do again to Nick, and if he did he gave Nick total freedom to kick him on his low parts – Nick just widened his eyes and shook his head at that, he could never hurt Jeff. Nick remembered how Jeff’s body was when he had seen him in the locker room, but then he also remembered how good Jeff was at fighting and defending himself so Nick couldn’t stop wondering how he had gotten all those bruises, he doubted it had been in karate practice since Jeff had reacted so badly when Nick saw them. Nick didn’t ask though, he didn’t want to push things.

Then something came to Nick’s mind. “Damn! I am missing my French lesson!” He said panicking a little.

“What? Oh... Right. Okay come with me.” Jeff said and gestured for Nick to follow him inside the school’s building again, since during their conversation they had walked outside.

“No! I can’t miss it! I have a perfect record! This is going to ruin everything!” Nick pulled his hair a bit and started to walk quickly to the biology lab where he would have his class.

“Calm down, I have an idea.” Jeff said softly, easily keeping up with the brunet boy. “Make your best kicked puppy look.” Jeff said.

Nick stopped, frowning at Jeff. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you know, that look you make when people are assholes to you.” Jeff said with a small nod.

Nick frowned. “That’s extremely insensitive of you! I can’t just make that face! I don’t do it on purpose!” He said hugging his books tight to him.

“Sorry... I just... Can you try, please?” Jeff asked gently.

Nick sighed and looked around, uncomfortable before remembering some of the comments he used to hear everyday his face quickly turning sad.

“Good, now stay like that.” Jeff said and led Nick to his class, he knocked at the door and stepped inside even without permission. “Hello Madame Poirot-“

“It’s Madame Dupont.” The French teacher answered with annoyed look on her face. “It’s not the time for your lesson, Mr Sterling... What are you doing here?” She asked and then she saw nick behind Jeff, looking small and broken.

“Really? But Poirot is such a nice name!” Jeff pouted. “Ah, right... I was wandering around and I saw this little fellow,” Jeff walked behind Nick and pushed him gently forward, Nick looking over his shoulder at Jeff blushing deeply, before hiding slightly behind his books. “More like heard really,” Jeff added with a small shrug, wrinkling his nose. “In the janitor’s closet, locked inside, so I thought I should better unlock the door for him, ain’t I so nice?” Jeff blinked and smiled, resting his head on top of Nick’s who was frozen in shock, how could Jeff lie that well?

“Indeed, now leave Mr Duval here and go away, I am sure your actions are appreciated by him.” She said coldly and hurried Jeff out of her classroom.

“Goodbye mon amour, I’ll see you soon!” Jeff joked, blowing a kiss at the teacher before she shut the door on his face.

Nick couldn’t help but to let out a chuckle as he saw Jeff’s mocked shock face from the other side of the door’s glass. The teacher glanced at Nick, he widened his eyes and hugged his books tighter before going to seat on the back of the classroom. Now that he knew it was all a mask, it didn’t annoy him as much.

The teacher made a mean comment about the interruption and then continued her lesson, Nick barely paying attention on the back. His mind seemed to keep drifting to a certain blond boy with a good taste for black clothes.


	5. Chapter 5

A month passed, and slowly the brunet and the blond started to become close friends. It was very hard for Nick at first, but slowly he started to open up to Jeff and slowly it was starting to be easier to be around him.

There were still some things they didn’t know about each other though, Jeff didn’t know Nick was son of a lesbian couple – not that Nick was ashamed of that, he was just afraid of what Jeff’s reaction would be, even though Jeff had never made fun of him – nor did he know that Nick had social anxiety, but Jeff wasn’t stupid he knew the brunet wasn’t just a shy person, he could see Nick turning paler and his breaths going uneven when the jocks would approach him calling him names. No one hit Nick again though, or threw him to a dumpster, Jeff was always there to protect him and that was one of the things that helped Nick to lay his trust on Jeff. On the other hand Nick still didn’t know about Jeff’s mother, he had tried once to pull the subject but Jeff got all weird and changed the subject and Nick decided it was better to not ask again.

Nick heard a lot about Jeff’s friend, Jonathan, the Sensei on Jeff’s karate place. Jeff once asked Nick if he didn’t want to go see one of the classes but as Nick got to the place he saw a few huge guys and started freaking out so he went back home and texted Jeff that he wasn’t feeling so good and that they would talk the following day at school.

Jeff was also very curious to see Nick’s room, a person’s room told a lot about that person. Nick had seen Jeff’s once, when his mother was away on a business trip, but now Nick didn’t want Jeff to see his since he thought it was quite dull and he didn’t want to be judged for the crazy amount of red panda plushies Nick owned.

There was one thing that was undeniable, both Jeff and Nick were much happier. Nick had a friend, finally. He had someone he could trust, even with Nick’s complexes, he knew he could trust Jeff. Even if Nick was constantly afraid Jeff would get tired of him and leave, deep down he knew he wouldn’t because Jeff had promised, and it felt amazing. It made Nick warm inside, he was finally succeeding in social skills! And Jeff? How could he be happier? His crush was _finally_ talking with him, laughing _along_ with him, hanging out with him and it was awesome! Of course, Jeff didn’t expect Nick to like him back, but it felt nice to make Nick smile and know he was the cause and be with him knowing he wasn’t terrorising him anymore, quite the opposite, actually.

Lia and Catherine also noticed the changes in their son, he seemed brighter, the anxiety attacks had eased and he was always talking about his new friend, which made them both happy. They were happy to see that Nick had finally someone, and who knew maybe someone who would be more than a friend eventually, but for now they were happy to see Nick smile more, they even wanted to meet this Jeff boy from all Nick said, but Nick would shake his head and say ‘not yet’.

Another good thing was that with this friendship Nick and Jeff were able to raise the only subject they were a bit down, P.E., since Jeff was used to barely do it and Nick was just a truly clumsy boy. But Jeff would do it now and protect Nick during the matches and games, Nick was starting to actually like it. He liked to run side by side with Jeff and for once he was glad he could actually play something without being kicked or pushed. And Jeff was also safe since no one dared to go a couple of feet near the blond bad boy.

Once, a jock, made the great mistake of slushying Nick when he was with Jeff. Nick was used to it, so he just sighed sadly, but Jeff flipped and threw the jock against the lockers and punched him repeatedly until Nick got out of his shock state and shrieked for Jeff to stop. Then Jeff just helped Nick cleaning himself, his cigarette on his mouth to calm himself down.

Oh yes, because even after Nick asked Jeff to drop the electronic cigarette, Jeff wasn’t able to do so. Jeff tried to not smoke but he wasn’t capable of making through the whole day and Nick just let him, now he was used to his friend smoking around him, and Nick didn’t mind it anymore, it wasn’t like Jeff blew the vapour to his face and it didn’t have any smell anyway.

Nick woke up on Monday with a small smile, Mondays weren’t so bad anymore. He would go to school to see his friend who he usually hadn’t seen during the weekend. This weekend had been one of those, so Nick was actually looking forward to school. Jeff had been busy on weekend with studying – Nick was still surprised to know Jeff knew where the town’s library was and went there to study every weekend – and karate, since a big championship was approaching.

Nick reached for his glasses but they fell to the ground, he groaned and let go of his red panda plushie so he could slid his legs off the bed. Nick knelt down to look for the glasses, but as soon as he knelt down he felt his knee hitting something hard and cold that wasn’t his carpet and he heard a crack. “No, no, no, no, no!” Nick quickly said and moved aside blinking several times, he could see a black blur on the blue carpet and held it, hurting himself on a piece of broken glass. “Ouch!” Nick retreated his hand and sat back with a groan. “Ima! Mum! I need help!” He called out and soon Catherine stepped inside the room, dressing her cardigan.

“Yes, Nicky?” She asked.

“I broke my glasses, I need you to get my contacts...” Nick mumbled rubbing his eyes, being without glasses was so weird he hated it. “I’ll hurt myself if I go there by myself.” He sighed and Catherine smiled sympathetically before going to the bathroom to get Nick’s contact lenses.

“Give me your finger, honey.” She said and Nick stick his finger to her, Catherine placed the right contact lens on Nick’s finger. “Right.” She informed and Nick quickly put it on the right eye. Catherine gave him the other lens and Nick put it on before blinking a few times.

He looked at her. “Are they okay?” He asked and Catherine nodded. “Thanks.” Nick sighed and turned to his broken glasses and gathered the pieces. “We need to order new ones as soon as possible.”

Catherine nodded again. “I’ll take care of it, now I need to go work, see you later Nicky. Ima will take you to school.” She said and kissed Nick’s forehead before rushing out of the room.

Nick watched his mother go with a sigh, this was just great. Who knew how long it would take until Nick had his new glasses. He reluctantly got up from the floor and went to shower, shutting his eyes closed as he did because of the lenses, before dressing, his good mood was completely gone. He didn’t want to go to school without his glasses, he didn’t want people to see him like this… Oh no! Jeff would see him like this! Nick groaned as he finished his cereal. Just when things couldn’t get worse.

Nick went upstairs to quickly brush his teeth, looking at himself on the mirror, he felt naked without his glasses, something was missing. Nick had to look away when his own hazel eyes seemed to look deep into his own soul.

Nick hopped into Lia’s car hugging his books tighter than usual. “Don’t be like that, Nicky, you look handsome with contact lenses…" Lia placed her hand on Nick’s shoulder gently.

Nick shook his head violently. “No. My glasses help me hiding." The brunet boy mumbled.

"Glasses are transparent… How can you hide behind them?" Lia frowned.

Nick shrugged. “Let’s just go, please." He asked and Lia turned the car on with a small sigh and drove calmly to McKinley high school.

“Can you stop here? I don’t want to go through the main door.” Nick mumbled but Lia didn’t stop, he glanced up at her.

“Sorry, Nicky, sometimes you have to face your fears. It will be alright, you’re strong.” She said gently.

Nick shrieked. “What?! No, I don’t want to!” He said and had to take a large gulp of air.

Lia stopped the car in front of the main door. “Come on, Nick, you can do it.”

“I knew I should have driven myself...” Nick mumbled, his face very pale and his books held tight against his chest.

“I wouldn’t let you, you haven’t used your lenses in too long, so you’re not used to them.” Lia said calmly. “Now go or you’ll ruin your perfect record.” She said placing a hand on Nick’s shoulder and squeezing it gently.

Nick sighed and closed his eyes before taking a deep breath and stepping out of the car nearly running to the building, his head low.

Lia smiled a bit at her son, glad he was overcoming his fears. Still she stood there until Nick was safely inside the school’s building before driving away.

Nick was keeping all the books he didn’t need for his next class in the locker, his head almost inside it so he could hide from anyone who would pass by. He just wanted to hurry and go to the classroom and wait patiently for his class. He didn’t even want to think about Jeff right now. He saw a pair of black boots stop on the other side of the locker’s door and bit his lip, shutting his eyes closed for a couple of seconds to take a deep breath.

“Good morning, Nicky!” Jeff’s cheery voice came from the other side of the locker’s door.

“Go-good morning, Jeff...” Nick mumbled, not finding the courage to close the locker as he had put there all he needed.

“Is everything alright?” Jeff asked, and even if Nick wasn’t looking at him he knew the blond boy was raising an eyebrow. Jeff peaked around the locker’s door, Nick was looking forward, not letting him see his face which only made Jeff more concerned. Then Jeff noticed he was without his glasses. “Did someone steal your glasses?” Jeff asked frowning and Nick shook his head, closing the locker and turning to Jeff.

“I broke them this morning, I am wearing contact lenses...” Nick mumbled hugging his notebook and biology book close.

Jeff’s eyes widened slightly. _Wow, his eyes are so bright._ Jeff thought, his jaw dropping slightly.

"Is-is there a problem?" Nick asked shyly, biting his lip.

"Oh no! I just… Woah Nicky, your eyes are gorgeous they are bright and… I am pretty sure I never seen that colour." Jeff said leaning a bit closer to a very red, wide eyed, Nick.

"It’s hazel." Nick said so quietly that Jeff barely caught it. “Jeff this is not the first time you see my eyes." Nick mumbled slightly louder.

"In a way it is." Jeff mumbled to himself. “I had never really noticed them before… Because of your glasses…"

"That’s weird, my glasses are transparent" Nick said, trying to ignore the closeness.

"But they are distracting." Jeff simply said and then noticed how uncomfortable Nick looked and quickly stepped back. “I’m sorry! I swear I didn’t mean to-"

"It’s okay," Nick breathed relieved as Jeff moved away again. “I am going to bio now, see you later Jeff…"

Jeff nodded but Nick didn’t see it as he was already practically running to the classroom, he wasn’t late though. Jeff noticed and slapped himself mentally. Great way to ruin things, he thought to himself.

Nick was confused. He had never had someone looking at him like Jeff had looked just a few seconds ago. What did it even mean? Nick didn’t know. But again, our poor little Nick had never had someone looking at him in awe and adoration, not that he had noticed anyway, because a certain blond boy had the habit to look at him like that.

Nick was thinking about what that look could have meant, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He was really clueless about it. He also had no idea about what he was feeling. He had felt, and was still feeling, a tingling sensation inside him, it made his heart pump widely and his stomach twist, but at the same time it wasn’t something bad. Nick felt calm, actually. More than that, he felt comfortable and warm.

Having Jeff’s face nearly glued to his hadn’t made Nick feel anxious, and his compliment… Nick blushed at the fresh memory.

Maybe Jeff was really just being extremely nice, by saying those things, and now Nick was making a big deal out of it. Yes, that sounded like something that would totally happen to Nick. Nick sighed a bit and sat on his usual front row seat as he waited the lesson to begin.

After his own lesson, Jeff, went outside for a quick smoke. He felt like all the feelings were back. During that past month he had been able to bury his true feelings deep inside him but now it was like Nick had taken over his mind and was refusing to leave. It was not like Jeff minded it, he actually liked the feeling of liking someone, but the feeling of not being corresponded hurt.

"Hey." A shy voice came from the corner of the wall Jeff was leaned against.

"Hey Nicky…" Jeff smiled a bit. And there he was; looking handsome as always, with a small shy smile that made Jeff’s heart melt to his toes and his now hazel bright eyes that weren’t covered by his wayfarer glasses.

"How was your lesson? Did you receive history test yet?" Nick asked glancing up at Jeff curiously and almost expectantly.

Jeff chuckled a bit. “A-" He said and Nick jumped, excited.

"Yes! I won!" He said happily and Jeff laughed.

"I still have chemistry and literature though…" He pointed out.

"Yeah, but now I have history, physics and english…! And that’s only the tests!" Nick smiled widely.

"I’ll still win overall… Just wait." Jeff grinned and Nick shook his head.

You see, after Nick found out Jeff was actually an excellent student, they started a little competition between them, whoever had the highest grade in a test gained a point and whoever had the highest grade in a paper gained half a point. For now it was 4 to 2,5 the winner being Nick.

"So the little fairy decided to drop his nerdy glasses!" A jock shouted from the other side of the patio and his friends laughed. These moments were really rare but unfortunately they still happened, usually Jeff wouldn’t be there.

"Those asses!" Jeff hissed and was ready to go after the jocks when Nick stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"Don’t… It’s not worth it." Nick said shyly, his eyes showing sadness.

"They have to learn they need to stop saying these things!" Jeff said with a sigh and Nick shook his head squeezing Jeff’s arm.

"Oh, look! The ladies are going to make out!" One of the jocks shouted and Jeff groaned, making Nick let go and walking across the patio towards them, a furious expression on his face.

Nick sighed and hugged himself, he didn’t like to see Jeff mad but he knew the blond boy couldn’t stand the verbal bullying. He just wished people would stop for good, not only for his and Jeff’s sake but also theirs. They were the ones who always end up hurt.

Jeff wasn’t even halfway through when the jocks were already turning around to run away. Jeff quickly jogged to them a sly grin on his face. “I’m sorry I don’t think I heard you correctly from where I stood. Do you have anything you want to tell me?" He asked crossing his arms over his chest, playing with the cigarette between his fingers.

The jocks looked up at Jeff and one stepped forward. _Oh a brave one… How idiotic of him._ Jeff thought sarcastically.

"Yeah, I have something to say… I don’t like how you and the nerd are around each other. It makes me sick." He said.

"Oh why? We’re so pretty! Is it jealously? Because if it is, I understand. If I were you I would want to have this if I could…" Jeff grinned and winked as he pointed at himself.

"Fag!" The jock said disgusted and Jeff’s expression quickly turned to dead serious.

Jeff grabbed the other by the front of his jacket and lifted him slightly from the ground. “Listen here you moron," Jeff hissed liking how the jock and his friends were looking scared now. “You don’t get to call me that. And I swear if I ever hear you say another word against me or Nick I will break every bone in your useless body." Jeff threatened. “You should have known better than to say anything to me. Ever." Jeff said and as the jock snorted Jeff threw him to the ground and started punching him over and over again.

At the sight of real violence Nick - who was still on the other side of the patio - yelped and looked around to see if anyone would go there but as Jeff continued to punch the jock, he clumsily ran towards him. “Jeff!" He said in a high pitched voice, but not enough to sound girly. “Let him go! He’s not worth it!"

Jeff looked up at Nick, he was slightly pale and seeing how uncomfortable he was with the situation made Jeff calm down and let the jock go. His friends who hadn’t dared to move stepped to his friend and took him away, presumably to the nurse.

"Sor-"

"Are you okay?" Nick asked worriedly not giving time for Jeff to apologise for the violent outburst. Nick quickly reached for Jeff’s hand. “It’s bleeding. Come on I’ll help you with it." He said and started pulling Jeff to the bathroom. “You shouldn’t have gone there… They will never stop." Nick mumbled, biting his lip. He was afraid Jeff would get himself into trouble because of this.

"Not true… All that have had the taste of my fist never even looked at you again." Jeff said following Nick.

"I just don’t like to see you that mad." Nick sighed scratching his nose as he was about to adjust the glasses that weren’t there, habits died hard.

"It’s okay, Nicky, I’m okay." Jeff promised.

They got the bathroom and Nick led Jeff to the sink to carefully clean his hand.

"You know, I’m pretty sure that’s not my blood… You don’t have to be so gentle." Jeff grinned.

Nick blushed. “You have a cut there… Can’t you feel it?"

Jeff bit his lip, he couldn’t feel anything, he barely felt his torso too. He knew exactly why, but he didn’t want to tell Nick. Jeff shook his head. “Nope… I guess I am just used to it…"

 


	6. Chapter 6

“I can’t tolerate this type of behaviour in my school!” Figgins said in that funny accent of his, leaning over his desk as he talked with Jeff, his eyes seeming like they were going to pop out of his face.

The blond boy simply rolled his eyes. “Of course... But those assholes over there can verbally bully my friend, but hey! That’s an acceptable behaviour.” Jeff crossed his arms over his chest.

“We never said anything!” One of the jocks who was also present defended himself.

Jeff turned his head to him glaring at him. “You lie again and I’ll rip your tongue off.” He groaned and the jock flinched in his seat.

Figgins called Jeff’s attention by slamming his hand on the desk and Jeff turned to him again. “A week of suspension!”

“What?” Jeff stood up. “A week?!”

Panic started growing in Jeff’s chest, when his mother hears about this, Jeff would be completely screwed. He could already see her angry face and that made him sick to his stomach. Jeff groaned and grabbed his bag to leave, the school’s principal called for him but Jeff ignored. He had nothing more to talk about.

Then Jeff realised something. Even worse than his mother. Nick would be left alone in the school for one week. A lot could happen in one week.

Jeff was sure he was about to throw up right now. What would he do? He couldn’t be in the school for Nick while his suspension time endured and now that he would be gone he was sure the jocks wouldn’t spare such a nice opportunity to bully Nick.

Jeff leaned against the lockers, running a hand through his hair.

With shaky hands Jeff reached for his cigarette and took a couple of drags. He needed to think of something, he couldn’t leave Nick alone for one week.

After a while Jeff got a hold on himself and went outside to drive away from the school. Maybe he should pass by Nick’s house to warn him. But when he got there and knocked no one answered. Jeff pulled out his phone and typed a text to send to his friend; _Where are you?_

 _I am in the waiting room of my oculist, why?_ Came the answer soon after.

 _Figgins gave me a week of suspension. I came over to tell you but no one was home._ Jeff typed walking back to the car.

On the other side of Lima was Nick, staring at the phone. One week? That was too long. “Nick, are you okay?” Catherine asked as Nick looked pale.

Nick nodded and got up. “Bathroom.” He said briefly and walked to the bathroom that was in the waiting room. As he was there Nick locked the door and took a few deep breaths, he couldn’t freak out now. Nick knew what would be waiting for him tomorrow; a bunch of angry jocks ready to take all their anger on a defenceless Nick.

Nick stood there a few minutes, hugging himself as his whole body shook and he tried to keep his breaths even. He had to pretend he was sick. It was his only option.

Nick came out of the bathroom, still very pale, but controlled.

The appointment with the oculist went alright, Nick’s vision was slightly better, which was always good. The glasses were ordered and the man promised that in less than a week, if everything worked according to the usual **standards** , Nick would have his glasses back.

“Thank you for arranging the appointment so fast.” Nick mumbled as he and Catherine drove back home.

“No problem, Nicky.” Catherine smiled. “Your phone buzzed a lot while you were there though.” She said glancing at Nick through the corner of her eyes.

“Jeff! Dang it!” Nick cursed lowly and reached for his school bag that was on the back seat to get his phone. He had several unread texts, all from Jeff.

_I’m sorry._

_Nicky?_

_Nick? Are you okay?_

_Are you mad at me?_

_I’m sorry, okay? I really am. Please don’t be mad at me_

_I know I screw up. Please Nick, just say something._

_Nick?_

_Just say if you’re okay._

_If I had known I wouldn’t have punched him, I swear! I’m sorry, Nicky. I know you don’t like when I go violent, I can see it in your eyes. Just forgive me._

_Please_

Nick sighed sadly, he should have text Jeff before he went to his appointment. He felt bad now. He didn’t want Jeff to think like this, Nick was not angry at Jeff, how could he? Jeff was always saving him from the bullies. “Problems?” Catherine asked snapping Nick out of his thoughts.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” He muttered back and dialled Jeff’s number before pressing the phone against his ear, biting his lip. The phone rang twice before Jeff picked up.

“ _Nick, I’m so sorry, please forgive me._ ” Jeff said, rushing the words out. Nick could hear the shaky breaths, and wondered if Jeff was crying.

“It’s-it’s okay, Jeff...” He said and gave a quick glance at his mother, he didn’t want to go much further into the conversation with her listening. “Where are you?” He asked looking out of the window.

“ _I’m in the park near your house._ ” Jeff answered with a deep breath.

“I’ll meet you there in twenty, okay? Just calm down. It’s okay.” Nick said calmly. All he heard back was sniff so he assumed Jeff had nodded and hang up. “I am going to meet Jeff in the park, so you can leave me here.” Nick muttered.

“I’ll drive you there, no problem. Is he okay?” Catherine asked, frowning lightly.

“He’s a bit nervous, that’s all... He got in trouble at school because of this bully.” Nick sighed.

“And you? How are you?” Catherine quickly asked.

“I’m alright... I have to be. I’ve got to stay calm for him.” Nick said more to convince himself of that fact than to assure Catherine.

Catherine smiled fondly at Nick. “You know, ima was always the calm one. I always freak out about everything and anything and she always calms me down... She says she needs to. For both of our sakes.” Catherine said, smiling. She loved her wife like she had never loved anyone and it was noticeable. Nick liked to hear these things, he liked to see how close his mothers were. And in a way, Catherine’s words had made him calmer. He just hoped he would still be calm when he saw Jeff and they talked. Catherine pulled the car up. “You need me to pick you up later?” She asked.

“No, I’ll walk home.” Nick said already getting out of the car, he gave Catherine just enough time to nod before he walked to the park, trying to spot Jeff.

When Nick’s eyes landed on Jeff, he was pretty sure his heart had sunk to his toes. Jeff was sat on one of the park’s benches, leaned over himself, his face buried on his hands as his body shook. He was crying. The only time Nick had saw Jeff crying was that day when Jeff apologised for everything he had done, it had been heart breaking, Nick didn’t want to go through that again. He didn’t want Jeff to feel like that again.

Nick quickly walked to his friend and sat beside him, not knowing if he should try to hug him. They hadn’t hugged yet. “Hey.”

Jeff looked up and blinked twice so the fresh tears would roll down his cheeks and stop blurring his sight. “Nicky!” He breathed out and quickly cleaned his face. “I didn’t hear you coming.” He mumbled with a sniff trying to compose himself.

“I’m not mad, Jeff.” Nick said softly, ignoring the tingling feeling that has been tickling his stomach since he first saw the text.

Jeff studied Nick’s features, deciding he was saying the truth. “That doesn’t make me feel any better. We both know what you’re going to find in school tomorrow.” Jeff looked down at the ground, not able to keep looking at Nick’s bright hazel eyes.

Nick had to take a deep breath. “I’ll be fine. You can’t be always there to protect me.” Nick offered Jeff a soft smile even if he wasn’t looking. “I’ll pretend I am sick and skip.”

Jeff ran a hand through his hair, he felt a bit more relieved but there was so much still troubling his mind. More tears filled his eyes. “Will I ever stop screwing up?” He asked himself out loud.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Nick said gently, sitting closer to Jeff. His heart ached for Jeff, he hated to see Jeff like this, it made Nick feel sick inside because he couldn’t do anything about it. “You’re an excellent student, you’re the smartest person I know. You’re actually a very nice person, with nice music taste and book taste... You’re funny and... So far from being a screw up.” Nick rambled, hoping it would make Jeff feel somewhat better. He was actually so glad he was controlling his anxiety. There was something about Jeff that helped Nick to stay calm.

“You-you really think so?” Jeff asked a sad smile on his lips.

Nick nodded. “I do... You can’t even screw that bad boy look... Even though, you are terribly off character sometimes.” Nick joked with a nervous smirk.

Jeff laughed. “Only around you.”

Nick shrugged. “Still counts.”

Jeff chuckled. “Thanks Nicky.” Jeff said after a few seconds, a smile growing on his face. Only Nick to make him feel better about this.

“Not a problem.”

“How are you so calm?” Jeff asked, looking at Nick curiously. Nick was the one who was usually freaking out or feeling unease, he was never calm when it came to these matters.

“So-someone needs to keep calm for both of our sakes.” Nick said moving his eyes away from Jeff for a few seconds, feeling almost guilty, but at the same time it had felt like the right thing to say.

Jeff smiled fondly at Nick. “I am still not over your eyes.” He said after a long while, finally sitting up straight.

Nick smiled shyly. “I’ll have my glasses back in a week or so.” He muttered, he was glad they had changed subjects but he wished it hadn’t been to something about Nick.

“That’s a shame. I like to see you with contacts.” Jeff said.

“They gave me enough trouble.” Nick mumbled and Jeff sighed.

Jeff glanced quickly at his watch and his eyes widened. “Crap, I need to go.” He quickly got up.

Nick blinked. “Oh okay.”

“Sorry, is just that... Jonathan will kill me if I get late.” Jeff explained and Nick nodded and got up too.

“It’s okay. Have a good practice.” He smiled a bit and watched Jeff as he put on his leather jacket. He hesitantly extended his hand to fix the collar and blushed deeply as Jeff grinned. “I’m glad you seem better.” He mumbled.

Jeff sighed. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” He made a sad face.

“That’s what friends are for.” Nick smiled softly.

Jeff stared at him for a couple of seconds before he stepped forward and hugged Nick tight to him. Nick’s eyes grew wide and for a moment he had no reaction, then, slowly and hesitantly, Nick slid his hands around Jeff’s waist to hug him back, holding his breath. He tried to stay calm, he could feel himself panicking. He wasn’t panicking because of the proximity though, the hug felt unexpectedly amazing. That was what was scaring Nick. Why was Nick’s stomach feeling weird? Why didn’t he want to step away? Why was he enjoying the contact so much? It scared Nick. The only people who had ever hugged Nick were his mothers and some friends from his childhood with who Nick hadn’t talked in years. That had been before Nick had developed his anxiety.

Being in Jeff’s arms felt really good, Jeff’s arms were strong, wrapping Nick in a tight embrace. Nick felt protected and safe in those arms.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry.” Jeff said as he got a hold on himself and stepped back, letting Nick go.

“You have nothing to apologise for.” Nick smiled a bit, wanting Jeff to hug him again.

Jeff smiled at Nick. “I’ll call you later. I don’t want to not see you for a week.” He said and as Nick nodded Jeff started walking to his car.

Nick watched his friend leave before he sat on the bench and took a couple of deep breaths. He was completely overwhelmed. He didn’t know what to do, or what to think. In fact he was pretty sure he had just forgot how his body is supposed to function because Nick couldn’t get a hand on it. He was shaking and he was pretty sure he wasn’t breathing but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

The world around Nick spun, his hands travelled to the bench’s edge to grip it tight. Finally Nick gasped and started breathing unevenly. It took him fifteen minutes of clearing his mind and focusing on his breath until he could breathe normally.

Through the rest of the day Nick refused to think about anything that happened that day. He filled himself with so many tasks at the same time that he had absolutely no chance to think about something else. His mothers tried to make him go to bed but Nick only went when he was so exhausted that on the same minute he laid down he fell asleep.

Nick woke up in the morning with a yawn, he blindly reached for the contact containers and carefully put the contact lenses on his eyes. Then he let himself lay down again, staring up at the ceiling and tapping his fingers nervously on his stomach. Just the thought of going to school made Nick’s eyes fill with tears of fear and his breaths go uneven, eventually he also started to shake.

Nick got up and walked to his bathroom. He reached for his anxiety pills’ bottle and took one leaning over the sink so he could drink some water to help it down. It’s been a long while since Nick had needed these, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to control it today.

“Nick? Are you awake, come on, you’re going to be late.” He heard Lia say from the other side of his room’s closed door.

Nick walked across the room to open the door. “I am not feeling so well.” He tried to make the sickest look possible.

Lia frowned. “What are you feeling?” She asked.

“Just a really strong headache and feverish...” Nick mumbled as Lia led him back to bed.

Lia placed a hand on Nick’s forehead. “Your temperature is normal.”

Nick cursed mentally, if she had got a thermometer he would have been able to fake the result. “But my head... I feel like it’s going to explode.” He whined.

“Take a painkiller... I told you, you should have gone to sleep early.” Lia patted Nick’s shoulder gently.

“Can’t I stay today? I am really not okay.” Nick pleaded.

“No. Next time go to bed at proper hours.” Lia said firmly and got up to leave Nick’s room.

Nick opened his mouth to speak. He wanted to tell his mother what was going to happen if he went to school, but the words died in his throat. Why couldn’t she just understand? Nick couldn’t go to school, he was too scared.

But Nick had no other option, so he dressed up and after swallowing another pill for his anxiety he climbed down the stairs. Catherine offered to give him a ride, but Nick said he needed some fresh air and that he would walk. That way he wouldn’t be forced to enter the school through the main door.

Nick got to his first class safe, but when the bell rang and people started getting in, Nick couldn’t help but to notice the sly grins on the jock’s faces when they saw Jeff wasn’t there.

“Where’s your boyfriend, fairy?” A jock asked as he and his friends passed by. Nick tried to ignore them as they all laughed.

And it had started. The rest of the class was spent with the jocks throwing Nick paper balls and paper planes and as soon as the bell rang for them to leave Nick was already walking out of the room to go hide in the library until his next class.

Nick was able to survive the first day of Jeff’s suspension without a scratch. He was surprised but really relieved. When he got home Nick felt numb. Numb because of the pills he had took through the day and because even with the pills Nick had felt that anxiety nervousness tingling his insides the whole day which made him really emotionally tired.

He let himself fall on the couch and reached for his phone. He called Jeff but no one answered, so he just texted him saying the day had been alright.

After all, it seemed like Nick and Jeff had done a storm in a glass of water, because the jocks hadn’t actually hurt Nick, if they truly wanted to they would have searched for him but they didn’t. Or if they did, they were even stupider than Nick thought.

On the next day, Nick went to school a bit calmer, little did he know.

It was all working out, Nick was safely hidden in the library during recesses and then for lunch, Nick sneakily ate a sandwich in the library so he didn’t have to go outside.

Nick was reading happily, his lunch hour nearly over, when he felt a kind of pressure on his bladder that told him he had to go pee.

Nick put down the book and got up, he walked slowly to the library’s door and peeked his head out, the hallways were empty so he stepped out and quickly walked to the bathroom.

Everything seemed to be okay, the bathrooms were empty as everyone was outside. Nick was as fast as he could, not wanting unpleasant surprises.

He left the bathroom, cleaning his wet hands on his jeans. When his eyes drifted up he froze. _Don’t move. If you don’t move they won’t notice you._ He thought to himself but then he slowly stepped back so he could hide in the bathroom.

“Look, fairy is right there!” One of the jocks pointed out and Nick shrieked before starting to run away before any of them could react.

Nick knew he was not the fastest, but he just had to be fast enough to reach the library, they would not hurt him if he was there, not with the library lady there.

Nick tripped over his own feet but he was able to keep the balance and keep going, he could hear the steps behind him.

A hand reached for the back of his shirt and pulled Nick back, Nick yelped as he fell to the ground, his stomach facing down. Someone kicked him so he would turn around and Nick gasped. Nick cursed mentally, he didn’t know what to do now, well, there was not much he could do. He just had to try to not show them how much it truly hurt.

The jock that Jeff had beaten two days ago held Nick by his collar and pulled him up before slamming him against the lockers, Nick whined loudly and as he opened his eyes and gave a look around he knew things wouldn’t go well, at all. All the jocks that were there had sooner or later been beaten by Jeff. There was the slushy ones, the ones from the day, over a month ago, just before Nick started apologising Jeff and he started changing, one that had once pushed Nick on the hallway and received a punch in return and a couple of others that were in Nick’s P.E. class.

“Your boyfriend isn’t here to save you this time.” He spat.

“Jeff’s no-not my boyfriend.” Nick muttered shaking his head.

The jock slammed Nick again against the lockers. “I don’t care, he broke my nose, I’ll break yours now.” Another jock hissed, the one who got punched because he pushed Nick.

“I did nothing! Wh-why won’t you go after hi-him?” Nick stuttered out, he knew why though. Jeff would easily kick all their asses, blindfolded and with his hands handcuffed behind his back.

Neither of the jocks answered. The one who was holding Nick threw him to the ground and kicked him again. Nick held his stomach where the other’s foot had hit Nick and whined. It had been a long time since he got beat up, it seemed like it hurt more this time.

Nick protected his head and closed his eyes as he thought the jocks were going to keep kicking him, but when he found himself he was being lifted and dragged, he opened his eyes and saw that only three jocks were with him, he tried to struggle for freedom. “Let me go!” He asked but they simply laughed at Nick.

As they left the school’s building Nick understood part of what was going to happen. The jocks put Nick down, two kept holding him and the other started kicking and punching Nick. Nick gasped and whined as he tried to get free from the jocks’ grips. “Please stop!” he asked more than once, but the jock didn’t stop.

Nick didn’t even see the others arriving. Next thing he knew he was being thrown to the dumpster, hurting himself even more than usual since it was empty – why was it even empty at these hours?

Then it was like Nick was punched by an iceberg. He gasped and as he did he felt this sickening flavour of cherry in his mouth. Slushies. He tried to get up but he was pushed down again and more ice flew his way. Nick curled in a ball, pulling his knees up to his chest and waited as the jocks laughed at him and then, finally, left.

Nick got up, everything hurt. He whimpered and tears rolled down his cheeks. He could feel all the bruises and the ice was starting to burn his skin on some spots. Nick jumped off the dumpster and leaned against it, gasping and holding himself in place.

He dragged himself to the library, ignoring all the sly looks he was receiving and as he was there he looked for his bag so he could call one of his mothers. “Ima? I need you to come and pick me up... Now.” He mumbled hoarsely as Lia picked the phone up.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

After what happened on Wednesday, Lia and Catherine wanted to take Nick out of McKinley High and put him in Dalton Academy, but just the thought of leaving Jeff behind freaked Nick out so he told them he wanted to come back to McKinley. He had said that he wanted to come back to McKinley and show the bullies he was stronger than they thought. He also said that he wanted and had to face his fears, Lia felt terribly guilty when her son said that, if only she had known.

Nick would stay home the rest of the week as his body was full of bruises and a few burns from the ice.

Nick called Jeff, several times, but the boy never answered. The brunet was thinking the worse, he thought that Jeff had finally got tired of Nick, he thought that Jeff after being away from school had understood how much of a mess Nick was and didn’t want to be with him anymore. Nick cried.

He thought Jeff was his friend; he thought Jeff actually liked to be around Nick. But apparently not, and Nick had been stupid to think so. It broke Nick inside. When he finally had thought he had found a friend everything crumbled and he was alone again.

When Nick told his insecurities to his mothers they told him to not think like that. It was only Saturday; Jeff was probably grounded for being suspended.

Since now all Nick did is sleep and eat, he was watching TV late at night. Lia and Catherine were already asleep. He was just running through the channels trying to find something nice to watch. He was clenching his phone on his free hand, just hoping Jeff would say something soon, even though he was not very hopeful. He decided to stick with _Adams Family Values_. It was a funny movie.

He was watching the movie attentively when there was a knock on the front door. Nick shrieked and jumped, flailing his arms in the process. After a deep breath Nick got up and walked to the door cautiously, already thinking there was a serial killer at the door. He peaked through the peephole.

“Jeff!” Nick gasped and quickly opened the door in horror. Jeff had several cuts on his face, one of them was on his forehead making the blood stain a big part of his face, he had a big bruise on his cheek and was slightly bent over himself, one arm wrapped around his own torso. The fact that the blond hadn’t said anything in days was quickly forgotten.

Jeff looked up and tried to smile. “Nicky...” he said and his knees lost their strength making Jeff fall forward to Nick’s arms that barely caught him.

“What happened to you?” Nick asked looking at Jeff with wide eyes.

Jeff simply shook his head. “Just help me, please.”

Nick nodded and closed the door, before taking Jeff upstairs to his room. “Just don’t make any noise for now because of my mo- parents.” Nick corrected himself.

As they were in Nick’s room, Nick made Jeff lay down and went downstairs, ignoring how much his own body was aching. He turned the TV off and all the lights too and came back upstairs. Nick locked the door just in case and walked to the bed. “They won’t listen now, their room is on the other side of the hallway.” Nick said before blinking and looking better at Jeff.

Jeff was panting and whimpering lowly, he nodded slightly.

“I need to get my first aid kit. You-you should take your clo-clothes off so I can take care of the wounds.” Nick muttered nervously before disappearing into the bathroom to get the kit.

Jeff sat up with a whine and started to take his clothes off, leaving just his jeans as he didn’t have many bruises there. Nick stepped back inside the room with his first aid kit and a small bowl with warm water and a towel, his eyes widened a bit at the sight of Jeff half naked on his bed, Nick felt his cheeks heating up and just walked to the bed, his head low. Jeff was about to make a friendly joke with a sexual innuendo about the situation when a whimper left his lips.

“What happened?” Nick asked sitting beside Jeff and starting to clean the blood that was on his face, gently.

Jeff pressed his lips into a thin line. “Doesn’t matter.” he mumbled.

“Yes, it does. Who does this to you Jeff? Why can’t you defend yourself?” Nick asked softly and almost shyly.

“Please, Nick, just let it go.” Jeff pleaded.

“I won’t let it go. You haven’t said anything since Monday, do you know how that made me feel?” Nick frowned, not looking up at Jeff’s eyes. “I thought you didn’t care anymore.”

Jeff shook his head. “I care. I care a lot, but I couldn’t say anything. Things have been... Tough.” Jeff hissed as Nick pressed the towel against his forehead wound. “I can’t tell.”

“Jeff, look at you. Do you think I will drop it? You look like someone was meaning to beat you to death!” Nick said, finally looking up at Jeff, a serious expression on his face.

Jeff’s eyes filled with tears. “Please, Nicky, don’t make me tell.”

And there it was; the broken boy behind the bad boy mask, the one Nick had seen a few times by now. There was something in Jeff’s eyes, Nick could understand that part of him wanted to tell what had happened, but there was something stopping him. He looked small and beaten.

“I’m just worried. You said nothing for days and now you appear at my house like this!” Nick said reaching for some band aids and compresses to take care of Jeff’s facial wounds.

Jeff hissed a bit and moaned in pain. He looked up at Nick. His face was a mix of concern, and almost annoyance. He wouldn’t give up on this and Jeff knew it. He needed a few seconds to gather the courage and a deep breath. “It was my mother. Figgins called to say I was suspended.” He mumbled.

“What?” Nick looked up, his eyes wide in horror.

Jeff looked down, his hair covering his face. Nick noticed the tear that fell to his blue carpet and bit his lip. “She doesn’t like me. Everything I do is an excuse for her to beat the crap out of me, When I was younger she just locked me in the basement during the time she thought it was enough and then I grew and she started beating me.” Jeff twisted his hands to cover the fact they were shaking.

“Jeff... I’m so sorry.” Nick moved closer to Jeff to wrap his arm around Jeff’s shoulder, ignoring how much it hurt. “You have to tell the police.” Nick said and Jeff shook his head.

“I can’t. They won’t believe me, I tried once, she said I had been beaten in school and that we had fought so it was some kind of twisted revenge from me.” Jeff said shakily, more tears fell to Nick’s carpet but no sobs were heard.

“You have to move in, my parents will understand.” Nick said, he couldn’t let Jeff’s mother hurt him again. “What about your father? He doesn’t do anything about it?”

Jeff shook his head again, taking in a shaky deep breath. “I don’t know who he is. He left my mother even before I was born. And I need to come back, if she dreams I came here for help I’ll have it worse. She’ll come back after me.” Jeff said leaning to Nick’s arms.

“If-If she doesn’t like you, maybe she won’t.” Nick said softly.

“She enjoys beating me, she’ll come back.” Jeff looked up, tears rolling down his eyes. “That’s why no one knows, and why I can’t tell anyone. I’d be giving her more reasons to beat me. You have to promise me you won’t tell anything to anyone.” Jeff asked gripping the front of Nick’s hoodie like it was a life line.

Nick looked worriedly at Jeff, how could he promise something like that? How could he let Jeff come back home knowing his mother would be there to beat him. “I promise. Bu-but you’ll have to let me think of a solution for this. You can’t live in there.”

“Only three more months. Then I’ll be 18 and I can move out.” Jeff muttered.

Nick sighed and nodded. “Until then I want you to tell me every time it happens and... You’ll have to let me help... Somehow.”

Jeff nodded a bit and pulled Nick for a hug, both of them winced in pain, but Jeff didn’t notice. “Th-thank you Nicky.” He whispered and cried softly, burying his face on Nick’s shoulder.

Nick rubbed Jeff’s back gently, avoiding the bruises. “Why won’t you defend yourself, though? I’ve seen you fight against the jocks.” Nick asked as Jeff was calmer.

Jeff leaned back, cleaning his face with the back of his hand. Nick quickly started taking care of Jeff’s bruises and scratches that were on his torso. Jeff needed some rest. “That was I why I joined Karate, it was to be able to defend myself from her, but when the moment arrived...” Jeff’s eyes were watery again. “I couldn’t. Even after all she has done I can’t hurt her because she’s still my mother, and I still hope someday she’ll change and love me.” Jeff sobbed.

Nick looked sadly at his friend and cleaned his tears with his thumbs. “I understand.” He said, but he didn’t. He didn’t understand why a mother would beat up her own son to this state. He didn’t understand how a mother could hate her own son. He couldn’t understand why anyone who knew how Jeff really was could hate him.

After Jeff’s torso was wrapped in a bandage, Nick made him lay down. “I’ll get you some painkillers now.”

“No.” Jeff held Nick’s arm as he was about to get up from the bed. “My cigarette is all I need.” Jeff said and Nick shook his head. “Please, Nick, I don’t want any painkillers.”

Nick sighed but did as Jeff asked and gave him his electronic cigarette. “You’ll stay here tonight.” He informed and went to his wardrobe to get a small folded mattress and a blanket for himself. Nick winced and whimpered as he stretched up to reach for what he needed.

“What’s wrong?” Jeff asked, pushing himself up slightly to look at Nick.

“Nothing.” Nick mumbled.

“Nick.” Jeff said almost like a warning.

“I was able to hide on Tuesday but then on Wednesday I needed to go the bathroom and they were all on the hallway chatting. They saw me.” Nick said looking down at his feet as he placed the mattress down carefully and went to the bathroom to take a painkiller, it was more than time to take it.

Jeff’s jaw clenched. They had hurt his Nicky. When Jeff comes back they will suffer, that was for sure. “What did they do? And who were they?” He asked as Nick came back to the room.

“They were all jocks that you hurt before, they beat me and then they threw me to the dumpster and slushied me.” Nick muttered with a sigh and sat down on the mattress, looking up at Jeff who was laid down on the bed and looking down back at Nick.

Jeff groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “Did they do anything else?” He asked.

“No. I stayed home the rest of the days... And I will stay until my body doesn’t hurt too much.” Nick mumbled.

Jeff nodded and then he realised something. “You are not going to sleep in there, are you?” He frowned, blowing some water vapour up.

“I am not going to let you sleep on the floor, I would be a bad host if I did.” Nick shrugged slightly.

“I am not going to let _you_ sleep on the floor! Especially after you just said you were in pain.” Jeff sat sitting up with some difficulty. Nick pushed Jeff down.

“You are worse than I am. Stay in there.” He said with a surprising firm tone.

Jeff sighed and laid down again. “What’s here though? It’s uncomfortable.” Jeff mumbled and trapped the cigarette between his lips before reaching for something that was under his lower back, he pulled it out and his blond eyebrows shot up. “The hell?” He asked and Nick shrieked before reaching for his red panda plushie and throwing it under the bed,

“Nothing.” He said in a high pitched tone.

Nick had totally forgot they were in his room, he hadn’t thought twice about it when he had seen Jeff all beaten up. He swallowed thickly and looked around, and for one second he was so glad he had taken his dirty boxers off the back of his desk’s chair that morning.

Jeff seemed to have noticed the same, because he was looking around, but he wasn’t looking for things that were out of their place, like Nick, he was simply absorbing how Nick’s room was. He liked it, it was simple. Nick had a fluffy blue carpet, a big wardrobe on the opposite side where his bed was and beside it a door that led to Nick’s bathroom, the wardrobe had a dark colour and simple lines, it fit in the room. Against the wall on the right side of the bed was a desk with a chair, above it there was a window, between the blue curtains, Jeff could see that the blinds were pulled down. On the left side of the bed there were some wooden doors that Jeff guessed that would lead to a closet. Nick had a small bedside table on the left side of the bed, it had a small lamp on it and a few books stacked up. It was all very neat and simple, but welcoming.

Jeff blinked and remembered Nick had thrown something to under the bed and tried to reach for it, but Nick slapped his hand away. “There’s nothing in there,” He said fast and nervously.

Jeff couldn’t help a grin. “Come on, Nicky...” he made puppy eyes, finally taking the cigarette from between his lips.

“No.” Nick shook his head.

“Pwease? I won’t make fun of it! Even if it’s a porn magazine.” Jeff joked with a wink and chuckle.

Nick couldn’t even feel relieved Jeff was good enough to joke, he turned deep red. “Jeff!” He shrieked. “Of course it’s not a... I don’t have those things!” Nick said with his eyes wide.

“Then prove it... Let me see what it is,” Jeff said with a smirk.

Nick bit his lip. “I hate you.” He mumbled but reached for his red panda plushie to give it to Jeff.

“Oh my God, it’s so cute!” Jeff squeaked like a little boy and as he held the plushie.

Nick was caught by surprise at that. “Really? You don’t think it’s... Childish?” He muttered.

“Who cares if it’s childish, it’s the cutest plushie I’ve ever seen.” Jeff smiled at Nick who smiled back. “It looks like you...” Jeff added under his breath with a fond smile.

“You can keep it.” Nick got up slowly, smiling to himself. He was so glad Jeff hadn’t thought Nick was a freak or something alike. He had been so afraid of letting Jeff in his room and now it actually felt nice to know Jeff liked his room and didn’t judge him by it.

“What? No, I can’t.” Jeff shook his head. “I can’t take this little cutie from you.”

“It’s okay,” Nick bit his lip lightly as he walked to the closet. “I have more.” He said and opened the closet, it had some shelves on the up part, where Nick had all his books and on the lower part he had his huge collection of red pandas. Nick smiled and pulled out the biggest one he had, it was half as tall as Nick. Nick hugged it to him as he closed the closet’s door and walked to his mattress.

“Where do you even find these?” Jeff asked as he watched Nick.

“At the fair... it’s outside of Lima, but I love to go there.” Nick said with a smile. “There’s this booth and the man has a lot of plushies, he always has red pandas so every time I go there I just have to win his game and I take a red panda.” Nick said lying down and cuddling his enormous red panda. “I had to win three times in a row for this one.”

Jeff smiled fondly at Nick. “Sounds like fun.” He said hugging the plushie that was now his own.

Nick sat up after a while to take his contacts off and then Jeff had to help him to come back to his mattress without falling. Jeff turned the lights off before lying on Nick’s bed again. “Is it hurting much?” He asked softly into the darkness.

“No, I took a painkiller.” Nick mumbled. “You?”

“Not really, but I’m not sleepy either... Which is weird, I haven’t slept well in a while.” Jeff sighed.

Nick looked sadly towards where Jeff was, all he could see was a dark blur. Hesitantly Nick reached out and blindly looked for Jeff’s hand, he held it. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

Jeff laced their fingers together, Nick could feel his heart pounding strongly against his chest. “Thanks for everything, Nick. You’re my best friend.”

“You’re my best friend too...” Nick muttered.

“I’m sorry for how I was before... I really am, Nicky, I am glad things changed.” Jeff squeezed Nick’s hand gently.

“Forget about that.” Nick closed his eyes. “I don’t want to think about that.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay... That was before I knew how you really are. We are friends now.”

“I’m glad...”

“Me too.”

“Goodnight, Nicky.”

“Sleep well, Jeff.”

They both smiled before falling asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Nick woke up in the morning and looked around, everything was blurry. He hated to not have his glasses with him, he couldn’t just reach out to them and put them on and see again. No. He had to go blindly get the lenses and put them on still half asleep, which could not work the best way.

Nick blinked a few times, the memories of the previous night slowly taking over his mind. He took a deep breath before he sat up, hissing lowly. His whole body was sore. Nick crawled around the bed to the other side to reach for his contacts that were on his bedside table. He carefully put them on as he didn’t want to get hurt and blinked again, glad he could see something, at last. He glanced over at the bed and a smile crept to his lips, Jeff looked so peaceful in his sleep.

Nick took his time looking at Jeff, his mouth was slightly open and he was completely spread across the bed, the red panda under his arm. Nick could feel his stomach weird already, and it wasn’t the first time. This weird feeling had taken over Nick’s stomach when Jeff had hugged him a few days before. Nick was still not sure what to think about that.

He felt overwhelmed, but at the same time he wasn’t freaking out. Nick felt like a ticking bomb, ready to explode but still waiting for the right time. It was all these emotions and feelings. He had never felt this before, he didn’t know what it was. He blinked and behind his closed eyes he saw Jeff’s face and how he had looked at him that Monday when he saw Nick without glasses for the first time. What had been that?

Nick shook his head violently. He told himself he was feeling overwhelmed because of Jeff’s mother and what she was doing to his best friend. But deep down Nick knew he was just dead worried about Jeff, he knew that the overwhelming feeling was something else, something he was starting to suspect, but he decided to ignore.

Nick got up and walked to his bathroom, he quickly washed his face, brushed his teeth and took a painkiller, before returning to the room where Jeff was still sleeping peacefully, Nick smiled softly at the blond.

Soundlessly, Nick got out of the room and climbed down the stairs, he needed to find an excuse to tell his mothers but as he got to the kitchen to get some breakfast he found out that he didn’t need to.

_Nicky, we went to the supermarket and then we’re going for a walk, call us if you want to join us – ima_

Behind the note was a plate with waffles, they were still warm so Nick figured they hadn’t left long ago. A smile grew on his face and Nick quickly grabbed a tray to put the plate of waffles, an extra plate, two forks and two knifes, two big mugs with apple juice – which by a great _coincidence_ was Jeff’s favourite type of juice, no, Nick hadn’t totally remembered that little detail when his hand grabbed the apple juice’s carton instead of the raspberry one, nope –, the leaf shaped glass bottle with maple syrup and finally a bowl with the very few blueberries they had left.

Nick walked to his room, hoping nothing would fall, the stairs were definitely the hardest part. His arms were aching already when Nick reached his room and pushed the door open with his hip. Only then he thought that this small gesture that Nick hadn’t really put much thought on could be misinterpreted by Jeff. Breakfast on bed was usually seen as something romantic. At least on the TV shows and movies it was. Nick sucked a breath in nervously and was ready to turn around to go back to the kitchen when it was too late.

“Morning Nicky” Jeff mumbled sleepily from the bed and sat up rubbing his eyes. “What’s that?” Jeff asked frowning as the room was dark and his sight was still blurry from the sleepiness.

“Oh, I...” Nick revolved his brain for a good excuse. “I just... I-I thought you might be hungry when you-you woke up and I didn’t know how you’d b-be, pain wise, so... I-I brought breakfast up.” he mumbled.

In the dark, Jeff smiled. Nick walked to the bed to place the tray down before he stepped to the window so he could pull the blinds slightly up, just enough for the light to pass through the fabric of the firmly closed blue curtains giving the room a dim blue-ish light.

“Your room is very... Blue. I didn’t take you for a stereotype boy.” Jeff commented, but it wasn’t meant to be in a mean way as he was with a curious look on his eyes.

Nick smiled shyly and shrugged. “I’m not. The fact that the society decided the colour that should represent the male gender should be blue and that my favourite colour at the moment is blue is just a coincidence.” Nick said as he walked back to the bed sitting in front of Jeff and pulling the tray to place it between them before crossing his legs, carefully.

Jeff watched Nick. “I love it when you talk smart.” He grinned.

Nick rolled his eyes and punched Jeff’s arm gently so he wouldn’t hurt him, after over a month of being Jeff’s friend he was used to these friendly comments and he didn’t mind them, at the beginning he had felt awkward but now it was okay.

Jeff chuckled a bit. “Does that mean your room had other colours?” He asked casually taking the extra plate, as Nick gestured him to, and serving himself a waffle before pouring some maple syrup over it and digging in.

“Yup, when I was a little kid it was orange, then it was green, then purple and now blue...” Nick’s eyes flickered up from his waffle to Jeff’s eyes that were staring down at his plate as Jeff was trying to cut the waffle without making a mess. “But I think I am getting fond of this particular shade of brown now.” He mumbled and looked down, blushing.

Jeff nodded lightly with a smile. “That’s cool... I don’t know if the room would look nice all brown though? At least the light wouldn’t work so well.” Jeff pointed out. “It would look like poop... Literally.” He added and Nick nearly choked on his apple juice as he started laughing.

Jeff watched Nick with a fond smile. It was funny how Nick had different laughs, and this was by far Jeff’s favourite, it was the kind of laugh Nick gave when Jeff said something that would always lead to the words; ‘Oh Jeff you are so silly’. Nick was snorting and kind of shrieking as he laughed, he sounded so adorably dorky. Nick was trying to cover his mouth to muffle the sounds, Jeff knew he didn’t like when he laughed like this.

“Oh Jeff...” Nick was cut by his own small chuckle. “You are so silly.” Nick added shaking his head.

Jeff’s smile grew wider. “I don’t mind.”

Nick looked at Jeff and for a few long seconds they simply stared at each other, smiling. Then, Nick broke the silence. “How are you feeling?”

“It hurts, but I’ll survive.” Jeff shrugged with a sigh.

“We should do something about her. She can’t keep doing this to you.” Nick mumbled.

“I’ll be okay. I have good friends who support me. You and Jonathan.” Jeff said calmly.

“Jonathan knows about this?” Nick asked.

“He knows I get beaten, but he thinks it’s at school.” Jeff shrugged.

Nick sighed. “You should tell him the truth.” Nick said. “He is your friend after all.”

“It’s complicated Nick, he’ll want me to report her.”

“And maybe you should. How many times will she be able to use the school excuse? I mean, if anyone goes to our school to investigate they’ll understand you’re not getting beaten there.” Nick said in a soft tone so Jeff wouldn’t freak.

“I can’t Nick. I am too scared. I am scared to come back to her house and having to face her but I am even more scared of what she might do if I go to the police again.” Jeff shook his head.

Nick sighed sadly. He really didn’t know what to do.  He was just a teen he had no idea how these things were supposed to be solved, he was just pretty sure silence wasn’t a good solution. “So that’s why you behave the way you behave in school... You know... The whole bad boy thing.” He muttered.

Jeff nodded. “I can barely bare with her, I would never be able to handle others.”

“I’m sorry...”

“It’s not your fault, Nicky.” Jeff smiled sympathetically.

“No, I am sorry because of the things I used to think about you...” Nick mumbled.

Jeff’s smile dropped to a sad one. “I gave you all reasons to think that.” He said and put his plate down as he was done. He sipped his juice and put the glass down on the tray.

Nick hadn’t finished his waffle yet, but he didn’t care, he put the plate down on the tray and put the tray on the floor before moving closer to Jeff and wrapping his arms around him. “We’ll find a solution. I promise I’ll help.”

Jeff smiled a bit and leaned down so he could lie on the bed, pulling Nick with him. Jeff let the brunet lie on top of him, smiling as Nick quickly rested his head on Jeff’s chest, he reached for his cigarette to take a single long drag before he wrapped his arms around Nick’s waist, their legs tangled together. It felt so peaceful and calming. Jeff couldn’t help but to imagine this would be something they would both do a lot if they were dating. It just felt _right._ “Believe me, Nicky, just for the fact you’re here, you’re already helping a lot.” Jeff finally said.

Nick smiled a bit. “But I want to be more useful than this.” He mumbled.

“We’ll think of something.” Jeff sighed.

They stood there for two short hours until Jeff said he should really go before his mother would notice his absence. Nick untangled himself from Jeff only then realising for how long they had been cuddling, this was a first for Nick, he had never cuddled anyone that wasn’t one of his mothers; he didn’t know what to think about it, he just knew this helped the overwhelming feeling getting even more overwhelming. Nick hugged Jeff goodbye, when the blond was already at the door ready to leave and watched him go with sad eyes.

He was still on his way to the kitchen to see if there was something he could do for lunch when the front door opened, irrationally Nick thought it would be Jeff coming back to him, but at the sight of his mothers he realised it was a dumb thought.

“Hey Nicky!” Lia smiled and walked to Nick, kissing his forehead before putting down the grocery bags on the kitchen island.

“You are home early.” Nick said with a small smile, kissing Catherine’s cheek who arrived right behind Lia.

“Oh... We didn’t take as long as we thought in the supermarket, and it’s not actually a great weather for walks.” Catherine said casually. “So, who was in the car that was leaving our driveway?” The woman asked after a while.

Nick blushed. “Car? What car?” Nick played dumb.

“Come on, Nick, it was there in the morning too.” Lia said putting what was needed in the freezer.

Nick bit his lip. “It-it was Jeff... Last night he passed by to apologise for not saying anything for a while and we ended up falling asleep while watching a movie... Then I led him to the guest’s room and let him sleep there.” Nick lied opening a cookie package and taking one, not looking up at his mothers.

Lia and Catherine shared a look before they shrugged it off, if something had happened, Nick would tell them.

Nick nibbled his cookie until it was over and then just watched his mothers cook lunch, chatting with them casually about everything and anything.

They were already half way through lunch when Nick remembered something.

“Oh, right I almost forgot. I need rubbers...” Nick said casually taking a forkful of rice into his mouth.

“A rubber?!” Catherine asked after she almost spilled her water all over her wife. “Nicky! You’re... You’re... You’re still too young and innocent for that!” She shrieked.

“Wait... What?” Nick swallowed the food and frowned his eyebrows. “What are you talking about? I’ve been using rubbers for years now...” Nick said.

Catherine was white as a sheet, Lia placed a hand over hers as to calm her down. “Nick, what are you talking about?”

“Rubbers? Like, those you use to erase things?” Nick said completely puzzled.

Catherine seemed much more relieved and fanned herself with her hand while Lia laughed loudly. “Seriously, love? I thought you could handle these things...” She said still chuckling.

“He’s my son! My baby!” Catherine nearly squeaked. “He’s too young!”

Lia laughed again. “I didn’t know this side of you... Especially because... You know” She said and gave to her wife a knowing wink. Catherine grinned a bit but had the grace to blush lightly, as she had pale skin it was clearly noticeable.

Nick was looking between his mothers not understanding anything of that crazy conversation until it hit him like a train. “What? No! Mum! How-how could you think that! Ew! No! No!” Nick blushed deeply and shook his head violently.

Catherine breathed relieved, it was just the idea of her little son growing up. She was like every other mother, she wanted her son to be under her wing forever. Okay, maybe not forever, she wanted him to live his life and be happy but at the same time she wanted to keep him protected. But if she thought about it Nick was seventeen and he was in the right age to start exploring his sexuality. She sighed to herself. “Well, Nicky, you’re in the right age, so...”

Lia grinned at her wife’s change; that was the Catherine she knew better. “Yes, Nick. You know, you’re a teenager, your hormones are all crazy and it’s normal that you get... urges.” Lia said casually as Nick watched them both in shock.

“Exactly, and we know you’ve been hanging out with that blond boy a lot, - Jeff, right? - we know you must feel something for him since you let him your life in like that so... As long as we aren’t at home... Go ahead, Nicky!” Catherine said a bit more awkwardly than her wife but still casually.

“You two are both out of your minds.” Nick said getting up and grabbing his plate. “Maybe you have lack of... You know. But I am very well and healthy like I am and now I am going to finish my lunch upstairs before I throw up on you.” He said.

“But Nicky it’s normal! Just wear a condom, okay?” Lia called out as their son climbed the stairs. Then she looked back at Catherine. “Our son is growing up.” She said and brought Catherine’s hand to her lips to kiss it softly.

“I’m sorry I freaked out at first, I shouldn’t have, it’s just that... I miss the days Nicky was a baby...” Catherine sighed. “He is getting older and independent.”

Lia smiled fondly. “Yeah, me too... Well... We’re still young enough, though... We could always have another baby?” Lia said tryingly. “We could adopt... Unless you want to get pregnant?”

Catherine eyes lit up. “You really want to?” Lia nodded. “Oh Lia!” Catherine got up and walked around the table to go hug her wife and kiss her deeply. “We should adopt.” She said as they broke apart, seating on her wife’s lap who was smiling brightly back. “You know, neither of us is twenty anymore...”

Lia nodded. “Yeah maybe it would be better, preferably a baby but if it is easier we could adopt a kid...”

Catherine nodded and then out of nowhere she chuckled. “What?” Lia asked.

“It seems like you had thought it all out...” The other muttered.

Lia shrugged shyly. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, actually...”

“Me too...” Catherine confessed. “I just... Haven’t thought of one detail.” She mumbled.

“How to tell Nick?” Lia guessed. Catherine nodded. “Well, he’s a grown boy, he’ll accept it well. But I think we should only tell him when we’re sure we’re going through with this and are ready to adopt.”  Catherine agreed.


	9. Chapter 9

Nick and Jeff only came back to school over a week later. Jeff spent most of those days in Nick’s house so he didn’t have to be in his own house always afraid his mother would appear. He never met Nick’s mothers though.

Nick couldn’t help himself from noticing two things, the first one was that Jeff was constantly smoking now, the cigarette wouldn’t leave his lips. The second one was how weird his body behaved when he was around Jeff. His stomach got this weird boiling sensation whenever he hugged Jeff, or whenever Jeff gave him that playful grin, or simply looked at Nick in the eyes, or how his breaths stopped for a few seconds for the exact same reasons, or how his heart pounded strongly whenever they were together... Nick couldn’t ignore it anymore. He had tried to, he really had! But he couldn’t pretend he didn’t feel any of this anymore, and he didn’t want to.

In the past few days he and Jeff had cuddled a lot and Nick really liked it! He felt safe and protected and for a few days it was like he hadn’t a social anxiety problem! Also, Jeff loved Nick’s plushie collection and had promised he would win one to give it to Nick once, which made Nick all fuzzy and happy.

But it was Monday now and Jeff picked Nick up from his house so they would go together to school. Back to reality and back to the life Nick didn’t like. Jeff had promised Nick he would protect him, but that only worried Nick because he didn’t want Jeff to get hurt or to get suspended again.

Nick adjusted his brand new glasses on his nose before he got out of the car, Jeff couldn’t stop himself from noticing and smiled at his little nerdy best friend who he adored. “I still think you look better with lenses.” He said with a smile.

Nick blushed and smiled shyly. “I’ll wear them when we come back to my place.” He mumbled, hugging his books close, hiding half of his face behind them so Jeff wouldn’t see his blush.

But Jeff being Jeff, once he walked around the car to walk alongside with Nick, he made the brunet lower his books and grinned to himself once he saw how adorably pink Nick’s cheeks were.

Jeff wrapped an arm around Nick’s shoulders to which Nick quickly responded by leaning against the blond with a smile. Jeff pushed the school’s front door open and walked through the hallway with a proud grin, knowing very well what everyone was thinking about him and Nick and he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care.

A jock opened his mouth to speak, Jeff was already ready for the comment so he interrupted. “You speak and I will break all your teeth with a single swing.” He warned. At that the jock closed his mouth and all those that had their own comments prepared, didn’t dare to even open their mouths.

“You know, even though you are really strong, I don’t think you’d be able to break all his teeth... They are strongly attached to his thick skull.” Nick said lowly to Jeff who laughed.

Jeff took Nick to his French lesson before he went to his own. “Don’t leave the classroom without me, okay Nicky?” Jeff said softy before he left.

The lesson went on very smoothly, until the last twenty minutes when the teacher informed Nick that during his absence she had given out an essay for everyone to write and that everyone would also have to read it out loud to the class. Including Nick. Nick’s face turned white as sheet as the teacher told him what the essay was about. All he could listen were to some sounds, he couldn’t pick up the words. His heart was pounding one thousand miles per hour, but it was nothing like the nice fast pound he felt when he was around Jeff, no. This one hurt on his chest, it made him shake and made him breathe very badly. “You will have to read it to the class.” Had been the teacher’s words. Nick just wanted to erase those words from his mind but he couldn’t, they would simply play over and over again.

As the bell rang Nick didn’t wait for the teacher to dismiss the class nor did he look outside the door to see if Jeff was there. He simply stormed out of the class, colliding with someone taller than him. “Look where you’re going, fairy!” The jock growled and grabbed Nick by his collar. Nick was already having an anxiety attack but right in that moment it turned to something even worse. Panic. Absolute and pure panic.

“Hey! Let him go!” Jeff shouted as he turned the corner and was faced with the situation.

The jock glanced at Jeff and let Nick go. “You were lucky this time.” He grumbled.

Nick’s sight was blurred due to the tears, still he managed to run down the hallway directly to the bathroom. Jeff followed him, stopping him right at the bathroom’s door. He pushed Nick gently against the wall, the smaller boy squirmed for freedom as he was feeling trapped, he couldn’t breathe, he needed to breathe, why couldn’t Jeff see that? “Don’t touch me, let me go!” He asked, shaking more than ever.

“Nick, what’s wrong?” Jeff asked looking at Nick concerned.

“Please!” Nick asked not even able to look at Jeff in the eyes.

Jeff kept Nick there, slowly the realisation hitting him. He had suspected what was Nick’s problem but now he was sure this was a panic attack and he knew it wasn’t the first. He simply pulled Nick closer and hugged him tightly. Nick struggled at first, trying to break free until he simply held Jeff strongly and tightly and started to cry.

“Shh... It’s okay, Nicky, I am here...” Jeff tried to sooth him but Nick continued to cry and shake.

It took Nick over five minutes to finally calm down, he didn’t let Jeff go though, he continued to hold him tight as he sniffled occasionally. Jeff stroke his hair gently. “Are you better?” He asked softly and the brunet nodded. “Is this something that usually happens?” He tried to guess and Nick nodded again. “Why did it happen this time? Was it the jock?” Jeff asked leaning a bit back to look at Nick.

“I-I ha-have an o-oral presenta-tati-tion for Fre-french.” Nick stuttered starting to shake again, Jeff pulled him closer again.

“It’s going to be alright Nicky...” Jeff said softly and then leaned a bit back so he could lead Nick outside to the gardens.

“Jeff I need to go to my class.” Nick muttered as they were outside, Jeff ignored and sat on the grass, thanking there was no snow and pulling Nick to sit on his lap, wrapping his arms around him protectively. Nick snuggled to Jeff’s chest. “I don’t want to have to talk in front of people.” He said brokenly. “They’ll judge me and make fun of me.”

“They won’t... Your French is really good, Nicky.” Jeff said softly.

“But I’ll stutter and get all red and mix things up, I know it!” Nick said sadly. “I’m a total mess.”

Jeff hugged him tightly. “What if I am there? Would that help?” He asked.

“You don’t have French with me.” Nick muttered.

“I know, but I don’t take a no for an answer, I could easily be there in the lesson when you’ll make your presentation.”

“Would you do that for me?” Nick looked up at Jeff, over his glasses.

Jeff smiled softly. “You’re my best friend, of course I would do that for you.”

Nick smiled back and hugged Jeff back, just enjoying that closeness that made him feel protected and calm. “Thanks.” Nick mumbled and then he realised that Jeff had been the first one that had stopped Nick from having an anxiety attack. He had still cried, but it had been different, it was just Nick letting out all that negative energy. Nick smiled to himself, it was weird – a good kind of weird – how Jeff had grown on him. He had feared him before and now he just wanted to be with him all time. He liked the feeling of liking Jeff, it made him happy.

“You don’t need to thank, Nicky... We should go to class now, though.”

“No. I don’t want to go.” Nick muttered shyly.

Jeff grinned and nodded, holding Nick closer. Nick was still stunned on how Jeff had grown on him, sure it had passed a long still they had became “friends” – Yes, because the first time they called each other friends they weren’t actually friends. It took a while until they started actually trusting each other. – but Nick had never expected to actually be able to trust and feel so comfortable around anyone, especially Jeff.

Two weeks later Jeff, as promised, was sat on the front row of Nick’s French class, a big, fake, innocent smile on his face. It had been hard but after a while of persuasion, the French teacher grew tired of Jeff and told him he could stay as long as she wouldn’t have to hear him, at all, not even his breaths.

Nick was sat beside Jeff twisting his hands nervously on his lap, trying to stay calm, Jeff noticed as he glanced at the brunet and sighed softly – and soundlessly – and placed his own hand over Nick’s. “It’s going to be alright.” He leaned to whisper to Nick’s ear. He saw Nick close his eyes and take a deep breath. “I’m here.” He said leaning up again and smiling as he saw Nick looking over his glasses at him with a shy smile.

“Thanks for coming.” Nick muttered and Jeff simply gave him a small nod.

For Jeff the time between the beginning of the lesson and the time for Nick’s presentation ran slowly and it seemed like it almost physically hurt for how bored Jeff was, but he was sure that for Nick the time ran too fast and before he wanted he was already getting up to speak.

Jeff was really proud of Nick,  he had made a small research about what social anxiety was – after he found out that was Nick’s real problem – and he knew how hard it could be for someone to speak in public when that said someone suffered with it. He felt guiltier about the time before he and Nick had become friends though, when Jeff terrorised Nick without having an idea of how mean he was actually being to the boy.

He listened to Nick speaking, not having an idea of what he was saying; he had Spanish instead of French, though he liked to mess with the school’s French teacher. Well, Jeff liked to mess with everyone. But he wondered if he shouldn’t stop. Knowing how much Nick suffered with it, he didn’t want to put other people through it, but then he remembered how he would be treated if he didn’t do it, it was simple to know, he just had to look at Nick, people treated him horribly just because he was gay and this way they didn’t dare.

Jeff gave Nick a wink, only then noticing that he was grinning dreamily at the boy. He was about to get some composure when he noticed Nick blushing and he could feel his heart melt and the grin growing even more, Nick was adorable. Jeff couldn’t help himself but to like him more and more each day.

The blond boy tried to focus on the words that were rolling out of the brunet’s lips not to pick up some sense, that would be impossible but because the words sounded so pretty when Nick said them, Jeff already knew Nick had a really beautiful voice but the foreign words made it sound even better. Jeff wondered how Nick would sound if he spoke Spanish. A shiver ran up Jeff’s spine, he would have to teach Nick a few Spanish words, he wanted to hear him speak.

Sooner than Jeff wanted, Nick’s presentation ended. The shorter boy gave a quick nervous glance towards his French teacher, only going to sit as she gave him a small nod.

Jeff noticed how his breaths were slightly uneven, discretely, Jeff reached for Nick’s hand and held it tight. Nick glanced at Jeff and smiled shyly, turning forward to listen to the next presentation.

No one was as good as Nick.

“I am so proud of you!” Jeff said as soon as they were out, pulling his friend to a tight hug.

Nick yelped and then giggled, hugging Jeff tightly back. “Thank you so much for coming to my class... If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have done it.”

“Don’t say that, yes you would!” Jeff leaned a bit back to smile at Nick. A feeling washed over him, he was familiarised with it by now, still it almost felt completely overwhelming; the feeling of wanting to embrace Nick in a passionate kiss.

Little did Jeff know, Nick also wanted to close the gap between them both. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not yet. He needed more time to get used to all these feelings and emotions.

The rest of the school day went on smoothly. After school Nick took Jeff to lunch out as he was now familiarised with Jeff’s mother schedule and knew she would lunch in her house. He didn’t want him to be there. Also, Nick wanted to celebrate his A on his oral presentation. He was really proud of himself.

“You know, this means I am still ahead of you...” Nick teased as they waited for their food.

They were in an American comfort food diner Nick knew. It was one of his favourite places to eat at. Nick was waiting for a bowl of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich and Jeff was waiting for a big plate of macaroni and cheese, they had agreed they would share.

“Nu-uh! Oral presentations don’t count!” Jeff made a no sign with his index finger.

Nick shrugged with a giggle. “Still... I am still winning.” He smiled proudly.

Jeff rested an elbow on the table and looked at Nick fiercely. "You’re so going down, Duval." He said in a low deep voice that made a shiver run up Nick’s spine. His stomach twisted in that especial pleasant way, making blood rush north to his cheeks. When Jeff spoke like that Nick couldn’t help himself. It was like he melted like butter under the sun in a really hot summer day.

He giggled nervously. “Oh Jeff, you’re so silly…” He said shaking his head fondly. “I will definitely win.” He smiled shyly.

Jeff chuckled. “You’ve won a few battles but by the end of the term I am the one who’s going to win the war.”

"There aren’t many tests and papers to do until Christmas break." Nick pointed out gaining his full composure again.

"There are enough." Jeff grinned and winked before straightening up.

"It’s cute that you think you can win." Nick said with a smirk and a silky voice.

Jeff was the one to blush now. Nick usually didn’t sound this… He didn’t even know how to explain it. He sounded kind of flirty but Nick didn’t flirt he was so shy and adorable, Jeff had never seen him flirt. He slapped himself mentally. No. This was Jeff making movies. Nick and Jeff were best friends. That was all.

Jeff was about to reply to Nick when the waiter arrived with their food. Jeff tried to not make much eye contact with the guy as he had recognised him from one of his hook ups. He hoped the other didn’t remember, but Jeff was still feeling somewhat bad. Well maybe it was because the other guy had thought it had been more than a random hook up and so the afterwards things had been really awkward.

"Just so you know…" The guy turned to Nick as he placed the brunet’s food in front of him. "He’s not worth it… I, on the other hand, get out at seven and I am very worth it." The guy winked and placed a small paper beside Nick’s plate, then he turned to Jeff to place his plate down, throwing to the blond boy a cold glare before walking away.

Nick was the exact same colour of his tomato soup. His eyes were open wide. _Did the waiter just… Yup, he just hit on me_. Nick thought glancing down at the paper where the guy’s name, Peter, and his phone number were neatly written. On the corner of it there was a small pretty heart. It was cute.

On the other side of the table, Jeff’s jaw had dropped to the table. Well… The guy did remember him. Then his jaw clenched and he looked over at Nick who was still blushing.

Jealously washed over Jeff like a giant wave easily washes off a sand castle. Who did the guy think he was? Just because Jeff didn’t want to be this guy’s boyfriend he thought he could get here and steal his date? Actually, not a real date, Nick was just Jeff’s friend. Still! It was rude!

Jeff glanced at Nick who hadn’t got that blush out of his cheeks yet and had a small shy smile on his lips; that made Jeff feel even worse. He just wanted to get up and leave. He wanted to know what Nick was thinking, if he had find the guy cute, if he was thinking about giving him a call, if he was interested in him.

“How do you know him?” Nick said out of nowhere.

“What?” Jeff asked, pushing away the thoughts that were still in his mind.

“He said you were not worth it, what did he mean?” Nick asked shyly, looking down at his soup and stirring it as it was still steamy.

“He probably just wants it in your pants so he said that to get it. He probably just wanted an easy hook up.” Jeff said coldly.

Nick looked up half shocked half hurt. “You think so?” He asked.

“Yes.” Jeff answered in the same cold tone, picking on his mac and cheese, spreading it on the plate to cool down slightly.

“Oh.” Nick mumbled and if Jeff had glanced up he would have felt guilty and apologised for what he had said and how he had said it, but the blond boy didn’t look up.

Silence fell between the boys, Nick kept staring down at his soup as he slowly ate it, and only when Jeff finally looked up the silence was broke. “Sorry.” He mumbled. He felt like an asshole now, Nick looked really sad.

“Not your fault.” Nick mumbled and his eyes drifted to the paper that was still on the table. His face expression changed to a mix of anger and sadness and he grabbed the paper before ripping it apart a few times and slamming the pieces down on the table angrily.

Jeff’s eyes widened just slightly, the only time he had seen Nick angry was that first time the boy had stood up against him, and it hadn’t been nice, he didn’t want to repeat the scene. “Wh-what’s wrong?” He asked softly, feeling overwhelmed with guilt.

Nick shook his head took a deep breath as he looked out of the big glass window.

“Nicky?” Jeff bit his lip, punching himself over and over again mentally for what he had said. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

“I’m okay.” Nick said but his watery eyes gave him away.

It was literally impossible for Jeff to feel even guiltier than he already did. He got up and walked around the booth’s table and sat beside Nick, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “I’m sorry for what I said.”

Nick took off his glasses and placed them on the table before he let himself lean against Jeff and bury his face on his neck. “I just...” Nick’s words came out muffled as he did no effort to lean away from Jeff. “For once I thought someone could have... I don’t know...” He sighed. “I’m too naive and dumb for this world.”

Jeff frowned a bit until he understood. “Oh Nicky... Don’t say that. I-... Someone will eventually love you and make you the happiest of men.” Jeff said swallowing the bump in his throat.

“Man?!” Nick leaned back, looking up at Jeff. “Do you have any idea how many _years_ I have before becoming a _man_? I am still just a boy!”

At this Jeff couldn’t help himself and started laughing softly. “Nicky, you are a man... You’re way more mature than those apes back in school.” Jeff said with a fond smile.

Nick groaned and buried his face on Jeff’s neck again.

Jeff pulled his plate close. “Well, I don’t know about you but I don’t like cold food.” He said and started eating his mac and cheese.

“Don’t eat it all, I want a bit too.” Nick mumbled, not moving an inch.

“Either you turn forward and eat or there won’t be any left.” Jeff warned.

Nick sighed and turned forward, but stood leaned to Jeff. He grabbed his fork and took a bit from the mac and cheese. “It’s good.” He said and took a bit more.

“And mine!” Jeff said playfully.

Nick pouted up at Jeff. “I’ll give you half of my grilled cheese.” He offered.

“Deal.” Jeff nodded.

“You’re so silly... We had agreed you’d have it anyway.” Nick giggled and took another forkful of macaroni.

“Is that your way of calling me dumb?” Jeff mocked gasped and reached for the grilled cheese toast. He was glad Nick seemed to have cheered up a little.

“Noooo...” Nick said and giggled before taking one more and final forkful of Jeff’s macaroni and cheese.

Jeff shook his head but chuckled.

After that Nick’s mood slowly came back to the cheerful one that had brought them to the restaurant. They shared a brownie as a desert and when they were leaving the Peter guy decided what he had done so far wasn’t enough.

“Will I see you later, gorgeous?” He asked Nick as he passed by on his way to the door.

Nick felt annoyed by that, he leaned to Jeff who was already with an arm around his shoulders. “No, I am going to stick with the worthy one.” He said and placed a hand on Jeff’s chest, a malicious grin playing on his lips.


	10. Chapter 10

“I’m sorry for that.” Nick mumbled after they were already two blocks away from the diner, dropping his hand from Jeff’s chest.

“It’s okay, Nicky... Don’t worry...” Jeff said with a smile. “You were awesome back there.”

Nick smiled shyly and shrugged. “I don’t like him. I didn’t like what he did.”

Jeff nodded a bit, feeling guilty again. It had been his fault, if he hadn’t hooked up with the guy, he would never say that to Nick. But Peter should have never said that anyway. “Sorry.” He muttered.

“You don’t need to apologise, it’s not your fault.” Nick repeated.

“It kind of is. I know him. We hooked up once and things didn’t work very well after.” Jeff confessed.

Nick frowned and looked up. “You hooked up with him?” He asked.

“Yeah...” Jeff sighed. He felt Nick flinch away from him and it broke Jeff’s heart once he saw Nick’s expression.

“Did you use to do that a lot?” Nick asked and there was a glint of annoyance in his voice.

“Not really... You know with all the bruises I usually have... I only did it when my body was bruise free, which is a very rare thing.” Jeff answered trying to meet Nick’s gaze. He saw Nick clench his jaw.

“Did you go out looking for easy targets?” Nick looked up at Jeff, his usual warm eyes cold as ice. As Jeff didn’t answer Nick assumed the worst. “Do you have any idea of what you made those people go through? Do you have any idea of what I felt in there? Do you know what is like to be fooled like that? Think that someone might be interested in you but then oh no you were just a toy, just someone to happen to be around when you were horny?! No wonder the waiter hates you!” He said his voice rising and pointing back at the place where the diner would be. “Did you at least have the decency to go to bar where people are expecting to be hit on?” And at Jeff’s guilty face Nick didn’t stop. “Of course not!”

Usually, it would be way scarier when someone who’s angry starts speaking really lowly, because there’s a dangerous note in that people’s voice, but with Nick it was the opposite. The brunet boy was always so quiet, peaceful and even… small. Seeing Nick raising his voice in anger was really something no one would want to witness. Nick was a ticking bomb, when he exploded he took everything with him.

"Nicky I-"

"Don’t! Don’t call me Nicky! Was that why you always whispered those filthy things to my ear? Why you were always teasing me? Was it?! Was I supposed to just be an  _easy fuck_?!” Nick spat, his eyes getting watery, Jeff guessed both from anger and hurt.

"Nick-" Jeff tried again and stepped forward to hug his best friend, but Nick flinched away.

"Don’t touch me!" He said not looking up at Jeff. "I should have never given you that second chance; you just wanted it in my pants!" He repeated Jeff’s words in disgust. 

“No, Nick! It was different! With you, it was different!” Jeff said feeling desperate.

“Oh yeah? How different?! Oh right, I _didn’t_ hook up with you! That’s the only difference!” Nick said angrily.

“No, Nick! It’s not that, I promise! I never... I never thought you were just an easy hook up I swear! You were different!” Jeff said with a violent nod.

“Then explain why!” Nick demanded crossing his arms firmly over his chest.

Jeff opened his mouth to speak. “I-I can’t.” He ended up mumbling. He wasn’t ready to admit his feelings to Nick, not yet.

“Of course.” Nick said bitterly and turned his back to Jeff.

“Where are you going?” Jeff asked as Nick started to walk away.

“Home! And you’re not coming with me!” Nick shouted and walked in a fast pace until he turned the corner and disappeared out of Jeff’s sight, then he started running, sobs already escaping involuntarily through his lips.

Nick didn’t run far though. His heart started pounding fast and painfully on his chest, his breaths were so uneven he could barely have the necessary oxygen and his head seemed like it was going to explode. He stopped and leaned against a house’s wood fence, trying to control himself and calm down.

Nick could feel his whole body shake, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to calm down and maybe this time his panic attacks would really take over and who knew what would be the result. He reached for his phone and tried to dial his old psychiatrist number, with some difficulty, due to his shaky hands, Nick hit 3 in his phone’s speed dial but instead of Dr Wes’ number it called to Jeff, Nick quickly hang up the call feeling even worse now. He had completely forgotten he had taken Dr Wes’ number out of his phone’s speed dial and replaced him with Jeff’s number. Nick cursed himself and tried to dial Dr Wes’ number but he was shaking so much that he got all the digits wrong and gave up.

His knees lost strength and before Nick knew he was falling to the ground. _Don’t let the breaths control you. Breathe in and out slowly. Block all the bad thoughts out your mind, go to your happy place._ Nick told himself mentally and repeated it over and over again. He shut his eyes closed and hugged his knees to his chest, and really slowly Nick’s heartbeats started slowing down and his breaths started getting even.

At first, Nick didn’t move, he opened his eyes and the world around him  span; it was probably the oxygen in his brain. He waited a few minutes until his head felt steady to get up slowly and carefully like just a tiny move could break him. He couldn’t believe how day that was going so well could end so horribly wrong.

Nick felt tears filling his eyes, his eye sight getting all blurry. He walked leaned to the wood fence that after connected with a wall. One second he had a best friend, his only friend, and the other he had lost him, probably for good.

It was Nick’s fault though, he should have ignored his anger, leave the past in the past, but how could he do that? It wasn’t just the fact Jeff went after easy people, those people only hooked up with him because they wanted to, and knowing Jeff he thought the blond wouldn’t do false promises of romance. It was actually the thought of Jeff with other people that made Nick angry and broken. It was also the feeling of being used by Jeff, Jeff didn’t like him and he never would, he had just wanted an easy hook up, and then by pure luck they became friends.

He had never thought other people could think he was interesting, and when that Peter guy had said that and left the paper on the table, Nick had thought that maybe, just maybe, if this guy found him interesting, Jeff could too, it kind of made sense, since Jeff was always after Nick in the past, and then everything crumbled and Nick felt used. He didn’t like the feeling.

Jeff had been the first person Nick had let in his life, who wasn’t his mothers, in a long time, and it had felt good, but now, all Nick wanted to do was to cry. He felt so lonely again.

As he was so distracted with his own thoughts, Nick almost passed by his house without noticing. He ran up to his room and locked himself inside.

After Nick’s outburst, Jeff stood there not knowing what to do. He had just ruined everything. He was feeling so many things at the same time he couldn’t even name them.

It took a while until Jeff got out of his shock phase. Still he had no reaction all that. He felt like crying but at the same time he was angry, though he was not sure why he was angry, he didn’t know if he was angry at himself or at the Peter guy for ruining everything he built with Nick. There was also a feeling of hurt that weighted on his heart making Jeff feel like he was just about to cry, like the tiniest thing would make tears run freely down his cheeks and sobs escape through his lips.

Jeff finally ordered his legs to move and walked to his car.

He drove not sure where but at the same time the way seemed really familiar to him, he only noticed where he was once he was on his karate gym’s street. He parked the car on the gym’s parking lot and went to his trunk to get his karate bag. He was two hours early but he couldn’t care less. He needed some time for himself so he could get distracted from what had happened just half an hour ago, and what was better than karate for that?

Karate helped Jeff forget everything. He had grown to love the sport, the gym was his comfort zone. In there, Jeff wasn’t the school’s bad boy, the dumb blond, the failure, the unwanted son, the crappy best friend. In there, Jeff was Jeff. In the moments when he was doing a kata or playing kumite, it was like Jeff was in a kind of serene limbo where all his troubles and worries stayed outside. The time seemed to stop, there would be no one else in the world but Jeff and, in the case of kumite, the guy he needed to beat. In those moments Jeff was nothing more than his body and mind in the simplest form of his being.

Jeff started with his usual running warm up, with his cigarette tucked behind his ear so he would take a drag now and then. He was glad Jonathan wasn’t around; the older man never approved the smoking. Jeff got lost in his warm up, after the normal running he ran while pulling his heels to his butt then he ran while pulling his knees to his chest, he ran sideways, made a few sprints and only then he moved on to the stretching. It had passed thirty minutes by then.

After he felt ready to start the actual karate practice, Jeff walked to the middle of the wide room, turning to face the wall that had a row of mirrors from one end to the other, and concentrated before he started doing katas. Although Jeff was quite good at doing katas, not only his movements were all right but the times were exactly what they were supposed to be and he managed to look quite elegant, he could always find something he could work on more. That jump or that particular kick. There was always something that could be improved.

Jeff was so tangled in his work out that he totally missed his sensei, one of his greatest – probably only now – friends, Jonathan arriving.

“Your left knee needs to be on the same line as your foot.” Jonathan called out and Jeff jumped and blinked before turning to him.

Jeff glanced at the clock that was over the row of mirrors. “You’re late.” He commented a bit expressionless, reaching out for his cigarette and cleaning his sweaty face with the edge of his kimono.

Jonathan glanced at the clock. “Five minutes.” He said.

Jeff shrugged as he took a large drag. “Where are the others?” He asked.

“They hit the gym first... To lift some weights.” Jonathan said and walked close to Jeff to fix his belt, Jeff never did the knot right when he was upset or nervous. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Jeff lied.

“Yeah sure, and Rebecca’s hair is naturally blue.” Jonathan said pointing with his head to the door. Rebecca was one of the very few girls in there.

Jeff smiled faintly. “I think I screwed things with Nick. For good.” He mumbled after a few seconds, his smile dropping.

“Nick? The guy you can’t shut up about for months? Why? What happened?” Jonathan frowned; he knew how much this Nick boy meant to Jeff.

“We went to lunch out and the waiter was one of the guys I hooked up before me and Nick became friends and... Long story short, Nick is pissed at me for hooking up with,” Jeff raised his hands to finger quote the next word. “ ‘easy’ people... Well, actually what really screwed things up was that he thought I was always after him because I thought he was just an easy fuck.” Jeff mumbled.

“Oh...” Jonathan sighed. “Did you tell him otherwise?”

“Of course! I never saw him as an easy fuck. I’ve liked him since freshman year and I admit my way of showing it was the worst I could have thought of but he was never like the others.”

“You told him that and still he was mad at you?” Jonathan raised his eyebrow.

“I didn’t tell him exactly that... I just told him he was different from the others but then when he asked me why and I couldn’t answer because... I can’t tell him I like him. I am not ready.” Jeff looked down.

“Jeff it’s been four years since you started liking him, if you’re not ready now when will you be?” Jonathan crossed his arms over his chest.

“Uh... Never. What if I scare him away? I don’t want to be without him!” Jeff said looking down at his feet.

“Technically you are without him. From what you said, he’s really mad at you, so what you have to lose?” Jonathan shrugged.

Jeff looked up at him. “He might forgive me soon!” He pointed out.

“He might not! And then what? You’ll be sulking all over the place...! Just go for it Jeff! You have nothing to lose.” Jonathan said maybe a little bit more harshly than he meant it. He just wanted to see his friend happy again, like he had been lately and he knew Jeff. Jeff wouldn’t go after Nick without a “little” push.

“You don’t have to be that mean!” Jeff said a bit annoyed. “If I tell him or not it’s my business, not yours!”

Jonathan rolled his eyes. “You might as well go hide behind your mother’s skirt...” He mumbled.

“Shut up!” Jeff shouted angrily. That comment about his mother sent him over the edge. “You don’t get to judge _me_ on what I choose to do!”

Jonathan looked up at Jeff and sighed. “Sorry.” He said. “It’s just that these last few months you’ve been so genuinely happy and now you’re not and I just want to see you happy again...” Jonathan said, running a hand through his hair.

Jeff took a deep breath and then a drag from his cigarette. “It’s okay.” He mumbled and walked to his bag.

“Where are you going?” Jonathan asked, raising an eyebrow. “The practice has just begun!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jeff waved it away and ran to the locker rooms so he would take a quick shower and dress his normal clothes again. There was something he had to do.

Nick stayed in his bed, laid down and hugging his knees to his chest for hours. His eyes were puffy as tears were constantly rolling out of his eyes, making his pillow get soaked wet.

Someone knocked on the front door, maybe if Nick didn’t pretended no one was home whoever was outside would leave. But whoever it was they didn’t. They simply kept knocking.

Nick sighed heavily and got up. He dragged himself downstairs, cleaning the dried tears from his glasses with the edge of his shirt. He opened the door and blinked his eyes before slamming it shut again, no expression on his eyes or face.

“Nick please! We need to talk.” Jeff said through the other side of the door.

“Nope! Go away! I don’t want to see your face ever again!” Nick said in surprisingly calm tone.

“Then close your eyes? I just need you to hear me out. Please. That’s all I ask.” Jeff pleaded.

Nick bit his lip. “No.” He answered but there was a glimpse of uncertainty in his voice.

“Please don’t make me break into your house so I can talk with you.” Jeff asked.

Nick frowned. “You wouldn’t.” He mumbled but then he heard Jeff fumbling with something and his eyes widened. “I’ll call the police! Are you listening? I’ll call the police!” Nick shrieked out, but he knew Jeff knew he wouldn’t. Nick couldn’t even call the pizza place to ask for a pizza delivery! “Fine!” He shouted as he heard a weird noise. He didn’t want Jeff to break the door or something.

The noise stopped and Nick opened the door, looking as pissed off as he had looked while he was screaming at Jeff earlier that day. He stepped aside to let Jeff in, not wanting to do anything while the neighbours could still see them.

Once the door closed Jeff turned to Nick ready to spill out more apologies but before he had the chance the brunet’s fist was colliding hard against his lower stomach. Jeff gasped and leaned over himself holding himself up. “I deserved that.” Jeff mumbled trying to take a deep breath.

“You did.” Nick said calmly, walking by Jeff to the living room.

Jeff took at least five minutes to go to Nick’s living room. Nick was way stronger than he looked.

Jeff sat on the couch beside Nick who got up to go sit on the armchair. “Nick...” Jeff said with a small sigh.

Nick glanced at Jeff. “Coming here was completely worthless, I hope you know that. I don’t want to talk with you, you’re wasting your time.” He said crossing his arms over his chest.

Jeff looked down at his hands. “I know you’re mad at me but... I just wanted to tell you that I never saw you as an easy hook up.” Jeff said and looked up at Nick, who raised an eyebrow and looked coldly at Jeff. He could almost feel himself freezing inside, it was an awful feeling.

“So you’ve said.” Nick answered as coldly as his eyes were. “But then when I asked why you didn’t answer... Because you were lying.”

Jeff shook his head violently and kneeled in front of Nick, trying to reach for his hands but Nick moved them away. “I couldn’t tell you because I was scared of your reaction, but... You’re my best friend so I think you deserve to know.”

“We are not best friends.” Nick mumbled but Jeff ignored he couldn’t chicken out now.

“You were never an easy hook up for me... You were my crush. You _are_ my crush.”


	11. Chapter 11

Nick frowned in confusion at Jeff, who was biting his lip nervously, before his expression turned to angry again. “How _dare_ you!” He growled, pushing Jeff away from him. “Lying like that to my face!” He said getting louder again. “How can you look into someone’s eyes and lie like that?!”

Jeff looked up at Nick, feeling like he was crumbling inside. “Nicky... I am not lying! It’s true! I’ve liked you since freshmen year!”

“Stop it!” Nick shouted. “Stop it! Isn’t enough what you did already? What do you want from me? Hurt me even more?” He said before he pulled his knees up to his chest, his eyes filling with tears again.

Jeff couldn’t stop himself from noticing how red Nick’s eyes already were. He wondered how much he cried that afternoon and felt sick with guilt.

“I liked you and you used me.” Nick sobbed hugging himself tighter. Jeff was a bit shocked at that but he decided Nick meant the ‘liked’ as friends not more than that.

“Please don’t think like that.” Jeff asked trying to pull Nick for a hug but the brunet simply pushed Jeff away, punching his chest lightly over and over again as he was still crying. Jeff tried not to flinch.

“Leave me alone!” Nick shouted. “At least if I’m alone there’s no one else to hurt me.” He added after taking a couple of deep breaths to calm down.

“What can I do for you to believe me?” Jeff asked looking at Nick brokenly, he just wanted to hug him and kiss him and make everything better.

Nick shrugged. As much as he wanted to believe Jeff, he was scared. He was scared of getting hurt and... Nick didn’t even know. He was already so hurt he didn’t know what to do.

Jeff sighed and kneeled in front of the armchair again. “Nick... The people I hooked up with... They mean nothing to me. I know the way I behaved before we were friends was wrong, but I changed. I never actually intended to hook up with you, not that you aren’t worth it, but... That’s not what I wanted. I didn’t want a random hook up with you, I wanted to date you.”

Nick looked up at Jeff trying to think of what to do, he wanted to pull Jeff for a hug and just let himself be comforted by the blond. He still liked him, he still wanted to be with Jeff. “Why would you even like me?” He wondered out loud, only actually noticing he was speaking out loud when he heard his own voice. Nick hid his face on his knees.

Jeff smiled a bit, knowing how insecure Nick was about himself. “The real question is, what is there not to like? You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re gorgeous, you’re the nicest person I know... Besides you make me laugh, you make _happy_ , do you have an idea for how long I didn’t feel genuinely happy before we became friends? You know the things going on with my mother and you don’t judge me, you don’t call me coward. You see me for who I am and not the bad boy asshole everyone thinks I am. That is so much more than I deserve already and still I seem to be too selfish, because I want more, I want to be able to hold your hand all the time and kiss you and just... Be more than just a friend. Believe me, Nick, I am not lying to you. I would never lie about this.” Jeff said, struggling a bit with his words, he had so much he wanted to say yet it was like he couldn’t put his thoughts into words.

Nick stared at Jeff for a few seconds trying to decide if he was saying the truth or not. He looked straight at his eyes and he had no doubt the blond was saying the truth. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” Nick asked his voice coming out much more calm now.

"Because I was afraid you’d freak out and leave me. But now you were so mad at me that I had nothing to lose." Jeff sighed.

Nick hugged himself tighter and didn’t say anything for while as he thought. His mind was a mess but at the same time it was all pretty clear.

"Aren’t you going to say anything?" Jeff asked after a while, chewing his cheek nervously.

Nick blinked and looked up at Jeff. “I… I am not sure what am I supposed to say.”

"You’re not _supposed_ to say anything. What do you want to say?" Jeff asked softly.

Nick shrugged but then spoke. “I want to say that…” He took a deep breath. “I like you too… But I am afraid because I never been with anyone and I don’t want to get hurt.” Nick said calmly.

Jeff’s heart started pounding strongly in his chest. “We can go slowly, at your own rhythm. And I promise you, Nicky, I will do my very best to never hurt you… Ever.”

Nick smiled shyly at the nickname. He took a large breath. Another twist today. He hoped this would be the last, he couldn’t take another heartbreak today, especially now that he was feeling warm and nice inside again. “Will you be my boyfriend, then?” He asked slowly, looking down at his legs as he let them go, sitting properly on the armchair.

Jeff smiled widely, looking up at Nick. “Yes. I’d love that.” He answered.

Nick smiled and slid off the armchair to sit on Jeff’s lap, hugging him by his neck. “I’m glad I let you in.” He muttered tiredly. He felt completely worn out, so many emotions in one day was never a good idea.

"I would have broken in. I wasn’t joking about that." Jeff said with a small chuckle, hugging Nick close to him.

"You can’t break in a house. That’s why locks were invented." Nick rolled his eyes, taking off his glasses so he could bury part of his face on Jeff’s chest.

"You’d be surprised." Jeff answered calmly shifting so he could rest his back against the armchair, bringing Nick with him.

"How?" Nick asked looking up at Jeff with a raised eyebrow, he didn’t even notice how close he was from Jeff, for him he was just close enough to see Jeff clearly.

"A simple card and in harder cases bobby pins." Jeff answered his eyes drifting down to Nick’s lips, he wasn’t sure if he could kiss Nick, he didn’t want to push him into something that would be uncomfortable for him but at the same time he was dying to kiss him for a long time now.

"That only works in movies." Nick rolled his eyes again.

"It actually works. I thank tumblr for teaching me." Jeff smirked.

"Oh… I’ve heard of the website…" Nick said and then he was able to notice to where Jeff was looking. "I can see what you’re staring at." He stated calmly.

Jeff’s cheeks turned red, making Nick smile a bit. “So-sorry.” Jeff mumbled and looked away.

"It’s okay." Nick said softly, it was nothing he hadn’t thought about before. He leaned slowly to Jeff to kiss him gently, feeling a bit of nervousness tingling his stomach.

Nick was glad Jeff didn’t just close the gap between them, Nick needed the time to sort of prepare himself.

The nervousness quickly disappeared when their lips met, Nick kept the kiss simple as he had no experience and Jeff didn’t push it either. Still it was everything both boys had fantasised with and more. Nick’s lips were softer, Jeff’s were warmer and the touch of one’s lips against the other’s made them both feel better inside than they thought they would.

Nick was the one to lean back, his eyes fluttering open and a smile growing on his lips. Jeff didn’t move for a few seconds, a wide smile on his lips, then he opened his eyes.

"You didn’t have to…" He said softly.

"I know… I wanted to." Nick replied burying his face on Jeff’s neck. "Did I hurt you?" Nick asked biting his lip and running his fingers gently over Jeff’s lower stomach.

"A bit, but it’s okay." Jeff shrugged.

"Sorry…" The brunet sighed and kissed the skin that was under his lips gently.

Jeff squeaked a bit and flinched. “That tickled! Don’t kiss and breathe against my neck!” He whined.

Nick leaned a bit back as he giggled. “Sorry.” He said, but he wasn’t. Then he yawned softly.

“Are you tired?” Jeff asked.

“A bit... It was a long day.” Nick said resting his head on Jeff’s shoulder, letting his eyes close for a few seconds.

Jeff held Nick closer. “I’ll go now then... So you can go rest.”

Nick whined a bit holding to Jeff. “I don’t want you to go... I don’t want to be alone.” Nick muttered.

Jeff smiled a bit. “What about your parents? They should be arriving.”

Nick shrugged. “They get late some days...”

Jeff nodded and patted Nick’s back gently. “Come on, get up... I’ll tuck you in and cuddle for a bit before I go.”

Nick smiled and got up. He helped Jeff up and reached for the blond’s hand as he guided him to his room, even though Jeff already knew the way.

Once in Nick’s room, Jeff sat on his bed and Nick sat beside him. “You know, the whole point of coming upstairs was so you could go to bed.” Jeff said softly after they spent a few long seconds just staring at each other with silly wide grins.

Nick giggled and moved closer to Jeff to kiss him softly. “I left my glasses downstairs, could get them for me while I change?” Nick asked as he parted from the kiss.

“Sure!” Jeff smiled widely and as he got up they both heard the front door closing.

“Nicky?!” It was Lia.

Nick’s eyes widened and he froze. Oh no. No. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. No. Nick wasn’t ready to tell Jeff about his mothers, Jeff wouldn’t understand.

Jeff frowned but then smiled. “Is that your mother?” He asked and walked to the door.

Nick got up and stumbled over his feet stopping Jeff from getting out. “Wait!” He shrieked.

“What’s wrong?” Jeff asked, puzzled.

“Nicky?!” Lia called out again.

“I’m coming!” Nick called back before turning to Jeff. “Come on, let’s go.” He said and grabbed Jeff’s hand and dragged him out of the room, he had to take Jeff out of the house before his other mother would appear.

“Nick? What’s wrong?” Jeff frowned, helping Nick stay balanced as he climbed down the stairs so fast he nearly fell.

“Pfft, nothing’s wrong.” Nick said nervously.

“Nick?” It was Lia now. Nick stopped and turned around.

“Mother...” Nick said smiling a bit at the blur that was his mother. He didn’t need to have his glasses to know she was frowning.

Lia must have noticed Jeff because next thing Nick knew she was extending her hand at him, and probably smiling. “You must be Jeff! It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, ma’am.” Jeff shook her hand.

“Oh please, call me Lia!” Jeff nodded. “So, Jeff, are you staying for dinner? My wi-“

“Jeff can’t!” Nick interrupted Lia before she could finish the sentence. “Maybe another day, he was just leaving!”

Jeff had only time to say goodbye to Lia before Nick dragged him out of the house. Nick walked Jeff to his car, stumbling on everything as he still hadn’t his glasses.

“I’m sorry for that.” Nick mumbled, hugging himself since it was cold outside.

“It’s okay.” Jeff said but he sounded cold. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He mumbled and hopped inside the car slamming the door shut, making Nick flinch a bit.

“See you tomorrow.” The brunet murmured before Jeff drove away.

“Hey Nick!” Caitlin said and Nick turned around.

“Hey mum...” Nick said walking to his mother who had just arrived to the drive way in her car.

“Was that Jeff?” Caitlin asked and Nick nodded.

“Yeah...”

“He’s not staying for dinner?” She asked as she got out of the car.

“Nope, he just left.” Nick said pointing out the obvious.

“I know he did.” Caitlin led her son to the house. “But why didn’t he stay? It would be a good opportunity to meet him.”

Nick shrugged. “He still had some homework to do... Spanish homework.” Nick mumbled.

Caitlin nodded. “Ask him if he doesn’t want to come to dinner someday.” She said and then went to say hello to her wife.

“Nicky, dinner will be ready soon!” Lia called out.

“I’ll pass. It’s late and I don’t wanna have nightmares. Don’t worry I ate in the afternoon.” Nick said as he blindly looked for his glasses and put them on before he climbed the stairs to his room.

Nick threw himself to his bed and didn’t have time to think about his day, he took his glasses off and drifted off to a deep sleep.

On the next day Nick drove to school and parked the car, not guetting out until he saw Jeff’s car parking a few spots away.

"Good morning!" Nick smiled widely but his smile dropped as he saw Jeff’s face.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" Jeff asked looking straight at Nick’s eyes as he slammed the car’s door close.

Nick jumped a bit. “I… What? Of course not!” Nick said shook his head.

"Then what the heck was that yesterday? You didn’t want me to meet your parents, did you?" Jeff crossed his arms over his chest.

"It’s-it’s not what you think." Nick mumbled hugging his books to his chest.

"What it is then?" Jeff demanded.

Nick bit his lip and didn’t answer. He would have to tell Jeff eventually but he didn’t want to. They were friends for long now and he still didn’t know.

"I knew it." Jeff sighed and hooked his bag on his shoulder before he walked to the main building.

"No, Jeff!" Nick grabbed his arm and looked around before he started pulling Jeff to a remote corner of the parking lot. Jeff was looking at him, confused.

When they stopped, Nick took a deep breath before he spoke. “It’s true, I didn’t want you to meet my parents.” Jeff opened his mouth to speak but Nick spoke over him. “But no. It wasn’t because I am embarrassed of you.” Nick said calmly. “I was scared of what you would think of them… Of our family.” Nick sighed.

Jeff frowned confused. “Nick, if you were afraid they’d embarrass you in front of me,that wouldn’t be a problem.”

"It’s not that… I… My family is not like the others… I don’t have a father… I have two mothers." Nick muttered looking down at his shoes.

Jeff’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh… I don’t see a problem though…” He said calmly and Nick looked up. “Nicky, I am /homosexual/ if I judged other people with the same sexuality I would be a hypocrate.” Jeff said calmly. “I don’t judge and I think it’s pretty cool that you have two mothers who.love you. That’s what matters.” Jeff said softly, pulling Nick close to kiss him.

Nick smiled against Jeff’s lips and leaned a bit back after a couple of seconds. “Do you want to have dinner there today?” He asked and Jeff nodded with a wide smile on his lips.

They heard the bell ring and Jeff reached for Nick’s hand. “Come on, gorgeous, we have classes now.” He grinned a bit as Nick’s cheeks tinted pink.

Nick went to his French class and Jeff to his Spanish one.  They only met again by Nick’s locker when the brunet was changing the books.

"You didn’t wait for me." Jeff said taking a drag from the cigarette.

"Sorry, I needed to go bathroom…" Nick said closing the locker and leaning against the rest of them, looking over at Jeff.

"Okay…" Jeff said and stepped in front of Nick so he could kiss him. Now that he could do it, he wouldn’t waste his time.

"Jeff, people are looking." Nick mumbled, red as a tomato, looking up at Jeff over his glasses.

"Ignore them." Jeff said taking Nick’s glasses out of the way so he could kiss him properly.

Nick liked this, he like to kiss Jeff, it made him feel nice but the judging eyes were freaking him a bit out.

"Jeff…" Nick leaned a bit back. "I really don’t like the attention." Nick breathed out.

Jeff nodded a bit and kissed Nick’s nose. “Okay… Sorry.”

"Don’t be… I like the kissing." Nick grinned a bit, feeling his ears heat up just like his cheeks.

Jeff smiled and moved to lean against the lockers beside Nick, looking over at him as he smoked.

“Uhm... Nicky?” Jeff asked after a while.

“Yes?”

“You haven’t told your mothers about us, have you? They don’t know we are together... Do they?” Jeff asked, frowning a bit.

“Not yet. I’ll tell them tonight.” Nick nodded. “I promise.”

“Oh no... It’s okay. You know... Take your time.” Jeff said with a nod, taking a large drag from his cigarette and blowing the water vapour up.

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Me and my mothers have a close relationship. I don’t need time to tell them... Besides I am pretty sure they think we got together a while ago.” Nick said and shivered as he remembered the whole condom situation that had left Nick feeling so awkward.

Jeff bit his lip. “Okay...”

Nick frowned at Jeff. “Are you... Okay?”

Jeff nodded. “Yes, yes! I am fine... Great!”

Nick stared at Jeff for a bit before he started giggling. “Are you nervous about tonight?”

“Pfft... Me? Nervous? Please, Nicky...” Jeff rolled his eyes and reached for the cigarette to take a large drag.

“You are!” Nick giggled and looked and leaned to kiss Jeff softly. “It’ll be okay... I’ve told them so much about you it’s like they know you already.” Nick said as he leaned away, a small blush on his cheeks. He still couldn’t believe he was dating Jeff.

Jeff nodded. “Okay...” He mumbled and then the glanced at his phone’s screen. “Class is almost starting, we should go.” He said and Nick nodded.

Jeff reached for Nick’s hand and led him to the physics classroom. “My boyfriend and I are going to class together.” He grinned widely.

Nick blushed and bumped his shoulder against Jeff’s with a smile. “Your boyfriend.” He said with a happy smile.


	12. Chapter 12

Nick’s mothers found a way to come home earlier than usual that day as their son had warned them Jeff would be having dinner over. They were both really excited to finally meet the famous Jeff, who was their son’s, new boyfriend, not to their surprise. They were already expecting them to get together from everything Nick had been telling about the blond teenager. Lia and Catherine were just really happy for Nick as he also seemed very happy.

So when Nick heard a car parking up on their drive way he ran down from his room to the front door, smiling at how amazing their dinner smelled already. “I’ll answer the door!” He said happily.

“No one rang!” Lia called out back from the kitchen, and Nick could hear the confusion in her voice.

“Uh, right!” Nick said blushing slightly, but still opened the front door to meet Jeff on the drive way as he was getting out of the car.

As soon as Nick saw Jeff closing the car’s door he ran to him to hug him and kiss him but he stopped at the full sight of him. “What’s that?” He asked, frowning.

Jeff bit the inside of his cheek and balanced himself on his feet nervously. “Clothes?” He mumbled.

“Why are you wearing those?” Nick asked, pulling a bit on the cardigan so he could have a better view on the white button down shirt the blond was wearing.

“Y-you don’t like them?” Jeff looked down, a bit sadly.

“It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s that they aren’t you.” Nick said looking up at Jeff.

“I just... I wasn’t sure if...” Jeff stuttered out and then sighed a bit exasperated. “I just want your mothers to like me.” He mumbled.

“Jeff...” Nick said softly and stepped closer to Jeff to kiss him, having to put himself on tip toes. “It’s not your clothes that will determinate if they like you or not... I’d rather have you dressing comfortably.” He said as he leaned back.

Jeff smiled a bit. “Are you sure?” He asked nervously.

Nick nodded. “Go home and change, we can wait a bit longer.”

Jeff shook his head. “No need.  I still have the clothes I wore at school today on my back seat.” He smiled a bit and got in the car, changing clothes right there for Nick’s shock.

“Jeff!” Nick squeaked and looked around. “Are you crazy?” He blushed deeply at the sight of Jeff’s bare chest. It wasn’t the first time he saw it, but wasn’t it an amazing rare sight...

Jeff just chuckled and quickly changed, getting out of the car, looking much more comfortable as he shrugged on his leather jacket. “Better?” He asked with a small grin.

Nick smiled shyly, still blushing and thanking it was dark so Jeff couldn’t actually see him blush, and ran a hand through Jeff’s hair so it would look its natural self. “Much better.”

Jeff smiled widely and leaned down to kiss Nick.

Nick kissed back and reached for Jeff’s hand. “Come on, I want you to meet my mums.” He smiled and led Jeff to the house.

Jeff just quickly locked the car before he let himself be led by Nick. He felt a bit nervous with that, he just wanted Nick’s mothers to like him, but it was hard, he couldn’t think of anything that they would like about him. He couldn’t even get his own mother to like him. How was he supposed to a get them to like him?

Nick stopped at the front door. “Calm down Jeffie, it’ll be fine.” He said soothingly.

"I’m fine." Jeff murmured.

"Jeff, if you bit your lip any harder you’ll bleed." Nick said softly and pulled Jeff down by the back of his neck to kiss him. "They’ll like you. I promise you. They are really happy that I’m happy so they’ll like you because you’re the one making me happy." Nick mumbled as he leaned slightly back from the kiss.

Jeff sighed. He couldn’t help it. “I might need one more kiss for courage.” He smirked but it passed on as a nervous smile.

Nick smiled and kissed Jeff again before pulling him inside.

He looked up and the first thing he saw was Lia pushing a stumbling Catherine to the kitchen. As he saw the living room’s lights on he realised they had been watching them and so he blushed. He glanced back at Jeff and was glad to see he was too busy taking his jacket off to notice his mothers.

Nick quickly closed the front door before the cold would come in. Then he reached for Jeff’s hand and led him to the kitchen. “Smells good.” Jeff mumbled and Nick smiled at him.

"It’s our dinner so I guess that’s a good thing." He said with a small chuckle, Jeff was too sick with nervous to actually chuckle with that too.

Way before Jeff wanted - or was ready for - they stepped inside the kitchen.

Nick’s mothers were both chopping carrots, probably for the salad, they looked up and smiled widely before cleaning their hands on the kitchen cloth, one at the time.

“Ima, mum, this is Jeff.” Nick pointed at Jeff, smiling softly. “Jeff, these are my mothers, Catherine and Lia.” He said pointing at Catherine and then Lia.

“It’s great to meet you,” Catherine said and as she saw he looked incredibly nervous she walked around the isle to go hug Jeff, there was no need to be nervous. “Nick is always talking about you. Me and my wife were just waiting for the moment you two would get finally together.”

“Mum.” Nick blushed.

“What Nicky? We’re just being normal mums.” Lia grinned and hugged Jeff after Catherine.

Jeff was blushing pretty hard right now, but he was smiling. First impressions went... Well. Or at least Jeff thought so, he glanced at Nick who was smiling at him. Yes, that had to be a good sign.

“Sit boys, we’re just finishing dinner.” Catherine said softly walking back to the other side of the isle to finish what she was doing, Lia followed.

Nick reached for Jeff’s hand and sat on a stool, pulling Jeff to the stool beside his.

“So... Nick never told us, and I am curious. How did you two meet?” Lia asked with a smile.

Jeff’s heart fell to his toes. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit. This is it. This is when Lia and Catherine would start hating Jeff.

“We were lab partners in freshmen year.” Nick answered calmly.

Jeff frowned at first but then he remembered and smiled.

“Yeah, I remember that... I had lunch with you that day.” Jeff mumbled and smiled sadly, that was the day he started going after Nick. The day he ruined everything. He felt Nick squeezing his hand and made himself push those thoughts aside. It was over, that part of his life was over. Jeff had changed and now he was making Nick happy and that was what mattered.

“Freshmen year? Really?” Catherine frowned.

“Yeah, after that lunch hour we kind of... went different ways.” Jeff said nervously.

“I’m not going to lie, I thought he was a bleached stuck up brat.” Nick said with a shrug making Jeff laugh.

“Fair enough.” Jeff smiled at Nick who was smiling widely back. “I hope you think differently now... For the obvious reasons.”

“I don’t know...” Nick made a face, showing he was clearly joking. “That blond hair...”

Lia and Catherine just watched the boys interacting, liking to see their son so comfortable around Jeff.

Jeff mocked gasped. “It’s natural!”

“Are you sure...?” Nick teased.

“Of course I’m sure!” Jeff rolled his eyes fondly. Nick hummed and ran a hand through Jeff’s hair. “You’re just doing this so you can run your hand through my hair.” Jeff grinned. He had forgotten Nick’s mothers were there, they were so silent and Nick was right there, it wasn’t that hard.

“I am.” Nick admitted.

Jeff chuckled. “By all means, Nicky, continue...”

Nick giggled and hopped off his stool to peck Jeff’s lips.

“Look at this, Lia, not even five minutes and it’s like we’re not even here anymore.” Catherine grinned.

Both teens turned into a very deep shade of red.

“Come on... Help us taking the food to the table.” Lia said with a wide grin.

Nick was the first to grab something and take it to the table, Jeff following him closely. “I just ruined everything, didn’t I?” He bit his lip, putting the rice down on the table.

Nick frowned and turned to Jeff. “Of course not!” He said softly and put the meatloaf down before hugging Jeff. “They like you, I promise.”

Jeff smiled a bit. “You’re sure?” Nick nodded.

Nick’s mothers stepped inside the dining room after a while, making Nick move away from the hug.

Jeff sat where Lia pointed to.

The dinner started quietly, as Catherine served everyone. Jeff was the first to be served but he waited for everyone to have their food before he tried it.

“It’s really good!” He hummed happily and had to make himself eat calmly. It’s been a long while since he ate a homemade meal as good as this one since he was always the one cooking for himself back in his house. For the obvious reasons.

“Thanks honey.” Lia smiled widely.

“So Jeff... Tell us a bit about you... Do you have siblings? What kind of things you like to do?” Catherine asked.

Jeff bit his lip lightly. “Uh... I’m actually a twin...” He said looking down at his food as he spoke casually. “But my sister died during birth.” He shrugged a bit and looked up.

“Oh... I’m sorry” Lia looked sadly at Jeff.

“Oh no! It’s okay, you can’t miss what you never had, right? Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a twin sister, but... It was harder on my mother than on me...” Jeff quickly said with a small shrug.

“Obviously...” Nick mumbled a bit bitterly. Jeff held back a sigh, Nick knew exactly how hard it had affected Jeff’s mother.

“Anyway, I love to read and karate is one big passion of mine.” Jeff said with a smile.

“Karate? Really?” Catherine raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, I’ve been there since I was really young and I just love it.”

“Can you break wood boards or that’s just a cliché?” Lia asked curiously.

Jeff chuckled. “Cliché. Though if I wanted I could learn how to... But it takes years and knowledge on the chakras and stuff.”

“That sounds cool!” Nick smiled widely. “I’d like to see one of your practices.”

Jeff smiled. “I’d like if you saw one...” He replied.

The dinner continued, Jeff liked Nick‘s mothers they were nice and seemed to really love their son. That was the most important part. He was also glad they liked him.

There was only one awkward moment during dinner. Nick’s mothers asked what kind of relationship Jeff shared with his mother and Jeff simply froze, not knowing what to answer. A few minutes passed until he was able to mumble out a “Our relationship is complicated.”. It wasn’t Jeff’s intention but it was clear that there was so much more to tell there. Nick bit his lip as he saw Jeff’s broken face and quickly changed the subject.

By the end of the dinner, Jeff’s mothers told the boys they could go to the living room for a while as they cleaned the kitchen. Nick held Jeff’s hand as he led him.

“It went well.” He said softly, sitting down on the couch pulling Jeff down to sit beside him.

“You think so?” Jeff smiled a bit.

“Yes, I do.” Nick smiled back and kissed Jeff.

Jeff leaned to Nick once they broke apart from the kiss and let the smaller boy wrap his arms around him. They stayed in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. “Hey Nicky?” Jeff asked looking over at his boyfriend.

“Yeah?” Nick asked softly, looking at Jeff over his glasses.

“Why do you call one of your mothers ima and the other mum?” Jeff asked curiously.

“Oh... Ima is the Hebrew word for mother... And Lia is Hebrew so... It’s a good way for me to separate them." Nick shrugged a bit.

“Oh... Cool. She looks like you... The hair and eyes...” Jeff said and Nick smiled widely. “And the smile.” Jeff added.

“She’s beautiful, so I guess that’s a compliment.” Nick blushed.

“It is... You’re gorgeous, Nicky.” Jeff said with a soft smile and kissed Nick.

After all this meeting Nick’s mothers thing had gone way better than Jeff had ever expected. He was really glad and so happy Nick’s mothers seemed to like him. Nick was the most important person in Jeff’s life right now and he didn’t want anything to ruin that.

 


	13. Chapter 13

After the success that was the dinner over Nick’s house, Jeff started appearing more often. Nick’s mothers actually liked to have the blond boy around, he wasn’t dead weight, he helped Nick with his chores if it was needed and cleaned up after himself, he knew when it was time to leave and let them have some family time and most important he made Nick the happiest person around. They only found a bit odd that Jeff spent so little time in his own house.

A couple of weeks before Christmas; Nick, Lia and Catherine were at home watching a movie. Jeff had gone home earlier saying Nick needed some time with his mothers, Nick had protested for he wanted to be with Jeff, they were so incredibly happy together Nick never seemed to find the time he had with the blond enough.

Nick was so focused on the movie he completely missed his phone vibrating beside him with upcoming calls from Jeff.

It was a surprise when they heard someone knocking at the door. Lia stopped the movie so Nick could go open it.

Nick gasped when he opened the door and was faced with a very bloody Jeff.

"I tried to call… But you didn’t pick up." Jeff said weakly. Nick didn’t even have time to react, he didn’t have time to catch Jeff when he fainted.

It was like waking up from a long night of sleep except that Jeff knew he hadn’t been sleeping. He was expecting to feel the hard floor under him, but everything felt fluffy and warm.

Jeff could feel something wrapped around his head and someone running their fingers through his fringe.

"Never scare me like that again." Nick spoke in a soft tone.

Jeff smiled weakly and opened his eyes slowly. They were in the guest’s room, Jeff had only been there a couple of times, his head was rested on Nick’s lap  who was sat on the bed leaning his back against the headboard. “Sorry.” Jeff mumbled.

"I’m sorry I didn’t pick up…" Nick said stroking Jeff’s hair. "It’s the second time this happens…" He sighed sadly.

"It isn’t the second time." Jeff said bitterly.

"I mean the second time you get so bad you need to come here… And this time you even fainted." Nick spoke sadly. "We need a solution for this."

"There’s none… I need to at least wait for my birthday." Jeff sighed. Then he remembered something. "Wait… What did you tell your mothers?" He asked worriedly.

"I told them." Nick said calmly, holding Jeff down when he tried to sit up. "They don’t agree with keeping shut but they understand and won’t say anything… For now."

Jeff buried his face in his hands. “They can’t tell, Nick. Not now, not ever!” Jeff said getting nervous already.

"Shhh… Calm down, Jeff… It’s going to be alright. You have witnesses now. We’ll all help you."

Jeff shook his head. “You still can’t prove anything.”

"Jeff, you had a huge scratch on your scalp. You’re just not in the hospital because you’re lucky! This can’t continue!" Nick said soft but firmly.

"You don’t understand. I can’t do it! I’m too weak!" Jeff said curling to the side, getting off Nick’s lap, tears already falling from his eyes.

Nick sighed and laid beside Jeff, wrapping his arms around him to spoon him. “That’s why I am here… To support you, to help you see that you’re so much stronger than you think, to help you through this.”

"I can’t… She’s all I was supposed to have! She was supposed to stay there for me! But all she can see in me is the loser that killed her precious girl." Jeff sobbed.

Nick held Jeff closer. “You have me. I am here and I will always be here. Your mother shouldn’t do this to you because you’re amazing, love.”

Jeff didn’t say anything he simply turned around to rest his head on Nick’s chest. “I want this nightmare to end.”

"And it will… You just need to let us help you."

"We had this same talk before… I promise I will move out once I’m old enough."

Nick sighed and gave up on the subject. There was no use, Jeff wouldn’t listen to him and, maybe, trying to make Jeff give too many steps at once wasn’t a good idea. He would go calmly but making his best to protect Jeff. No more going home earlier to give Nick and his mothers quality time, maybe even go take him home to make sure his mother wasn’t around and the other few things he could do to make sure Jeff would be safe from that despicable woman.

Suddenly Jeff sat up, Nick frowned at him. “Where are you going?” He asked sitting up too.

“I need water...” Jeff mumbled.

Nick placed a hand on Jeff’s chest. “Rest down, I’ll get you some water.”

“Nick, please... I’ve had it worse, it’s just a cut.” Jeff aid stubbornly, sliding his legs off the bed.

Nick got up in a jump and walked around the bed to slide an arm around Jeff’s waist to keep him steady. Jeff wouldn’t say it out loud but he was glad Nick did that because for a few seconds his head spun and Jeff lost his balance.

“Just go slowly, okay?” Nick asked looking up at Jeff. Jeff nodded and walked calmly, letting Nick help him support his own weight.

“Thanks Nicky... Really.” Jeff smiled weakly.

“You’re welcome.” Nick said and leaned up to kiss Jeff softly.

Jeff smiled against Nick’s soft kisses. It was almost hard to believe how someone could have so much kindness and love inside of them and yet there was Nick and his mothers who were as kind and loving as him. Before Nick, Jeff didn’t know anyone like him, sure Jonathan was one of his best friends, but it wasn’t the same, he didn’t know the whole truth and if he did Jeff was sure he wouldn’t be as understanding and supportive as Nick, he would never understand why Jeff couldn’t just leave or why he couldn’t defend himself and attack back.

Jeff could hear some hushed voices once they were close to the kitchen and then when they stepped inside Catherine and Lia stopped talking abruptly and looked up at them. “Jeff!” Catherine said and walked around the counter. “You shouldn’t be up!”

“I’m okay.” Jeff smiled a bit. “I just needed some water.”

“Drink juice instead, honey... So you get some sugar in your system.” Lia said with a kind smile reaching for a mug to pour down some juice for Jeff.

Jeff nodded and thanked before sitting on a stool.

“Is it hurting?” Catherine asked gesturing to Jeff’s bandage.

“Oh... Not really.” Jeff mumbled looking down at his lap.

“That’s good... We put an ointment on the cut... One I’m used to put myself.” Nick said with a small smile.

“The cut wasn’t too deep, so you don’t need stitches and we’re pretty sure the reason you passed out was because your blood pressure was really low when we checked it.” Catherine informed.

“Oh okay... Thank you for everything.” Jeff nodded a bit, thanking again as Lia gave him the mug with the juice.

“If you feel sick or dizzy or disoriented we will want to know.” She said sternly, Catherine nodding in agreement. “We didn’t take you to the hospital because... Well... We didn’t think you’d want to and since Catherine’s a nurse...” Lia shrugged a bit.

“Yes, thank you. There would be a lot of questions.” Jeff said looking down at his juice.

Catherine glanced at Lia before she spoke. “We do have questions, though.” She said calmly.

Jeff bit his lip, knowing he couldn’t refuse to answer. “Oh...”

“For how long has this been happening?” Catherine asked gently, they didn’t want Jeff to feel threatened.

“For a while.” Jeff mumbled with a shrug.

“You understand this puts us in a very difficult position.” Lia said calmly. “We need to report this to the police; it’s the right thing to do.”

“No! Please don’t!” Jeff lifted is head in a blink, his eyes wide in horror. “I swear it usually doesn’t get this bad!”

“She can’t abuse you like this, Jeff! She needs to be arrested and punished for her crimes.” Catherine said.

Nick was in a corner by now, biting his lip. He knew how Jeff felt about police but he also knew his mothers wouldn’t give up so easily. He tried to think about a solution himself.

“They won’t believe me! She made it look like I was being bullied at school once she’ll do it again!” Jeff said desperately.

“But it’s different now! Anyone who goes to our school will understand that you’re not being bullied there!” Nick replied from the corner.

“Then she’ll say I was beaten on the street.” Jeff threw his arms up.

“This can’t continue, Jeff, you need to get out of there.” Lia said firmly.

“My birthday is coming up, once I am 18 I’ll get a job and move away, until then she won’t let me because she enjoys what she does.” Jeff said taking a deep breath.

“Your birthday is still months away.” Nick pointed out.

“Okay, here’s the deal.” Lia spoke after they all spent a few minutes in a tense silence. “You come here after school with Nick, you spend the afternoon with him, here where you’re safe -”

“I have karate three times a week.” Jeff interrupted.

“You go to karate like you’re used to.” Lia continued. “And you have dinner with us and then you’ll drive home and sleep there and then in the morning in case you can’t eat breakfast safely in your house you come over to ours for it. If your mother ever lays a finger on you again we want to know and we’ll report.”

“Do I have any other option?” Jeff mumbled a bit sarcastically. It was not like he wasn’t thankful or like he didn’t want that excuse to be with Nick but he felt a bit trapped and just the idea that Nick’s mothers could go t the police made Jeff feel sick in his stomach.

“We can go to the police now.” Lia said almost a bit coldly.

“Let’s try the whole avoiding her thing then...” Jeff ran a hand through his hair, shivering as his hand passed by the scratch.

Nick walked over to Jeff and hugged him. “It’ll be fine, Jeff.” He muttered and Jeff hugged him back.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” Jeff mumbled.

“You’re here with us now, you don’t have to worry, you can focus on school and... on me since we’re on vacation.” Nick said with a small smile. Jeff smiled and leaned back pecking Nick’s lips gently.

“Just one rule!” Catherine said making Nick and Jeff snap their heads up at her. “No sex while we’re in the house.” She warned.

Jeff was able to stay with a straight face until Nick blushed madly and squeaked out a “Mum!”. Then he just started laughing, his body feeling sore but he didn’t mind it, laugh made him feel better.

“Stop laughing.” Nick whined, poking Jeff, only making him laugh harder.

The rest of that week was eventless. Jeff felt safer. He had someone who had his back, someone who cared for him and was trying to keep him safe, that made a warm feeling burst in his stomach.

The scratch in his head was easily covered by his hair so he was on his way to the gym after Catherine said it was safe for him to go. He just had to be careful in case he started to get dizzy.

Jeff’s phone buzzed. ‘Are you sure you’re not mad I’m not going?’ He smiled softly at the text and quickly answered. ‘Of course not, Nicky, if you’re not comfortable going it’s fine.’

‘But I kinda wanted to see you in your element’

‘My element?’ Jeff chuckled a bit.

‘Yeah... You always talk about it with so much passion...’

Nick typed back and lied on his bed, sighing. He really did want to go see Jeff but when he thought about the last time he tried to go his stomach clenched and he had to take a deep breath. So many people and they were all so huge.

Nick sat up quickly. What had Lia said the other day? Nick needed to stand up to his fears. Sure that had also resulted on him being beaten up but this was different, Jeff trusted the people he had karate with and he would be there to protect him if needed, right? But what would they think of Nick? Wouldn’t they look at him and see this ugly, insecure boy with a weird sense of fashion? And then they would judge him and comment behind his back and even though Nick didn’t know this people it made him nervous to think everyone would hate him.

Nick got up and dressed his jacket. “I don’t need to enter the gym, right? I can just for a walk. That sounds good enough.” He mumbled to himself pulling his beanie on as well as his scarf. He got out of the house and walked in a fast pace so he wouldn’t get too cold. In no time he was at the gym’s door.

“Come on, Nick. Don’t be a coward you can do this.” He muttered to himself, a small vapour cloud forming in front of his lips. He looked down at it and for a few seconds he let himself get distracted with the vapour so he could calm down.

A girl in electric blue hair passed by Nick, bumping on his shoulder, she was talking happily with a dark haired man gesturing widely with her hands, so that was why she probably hadn’t seen Nick. Her gym bag fell and she turned her head to Nick. “Oh, I’m so sorry...!” She said as she picked up the bag.

“It-it’s fine!” Nick said not too loudly, leaning a bit down to reach for her bag before noticing she already had it so he just straightened up awkwardly.

“Do you need help?” The boy asked.

“Uh, no! I mean... Uhm... No.” Nick said nervously looking a bit down and shaking his head. He opened his mouth to say something else but ended up just turning his back to walk away.

Nick waited until the blue haired girl and the boy were inside the gym before he turned around again to give the gym a second chance. He stood there for a few minutes and at the end the thing that made him get inside was the cold.

Nick only gave a few steps into the hall before a woman approached him. “Can I help you?” She asked casually.

"I uh… I wanted to watch the karate practice if possible?" Nick said as he took his beanie and scarf off.

"And why would you want to go watch?" The woman asked a bit coldly.

"My b- my friend is there and he sent me a text asking me if I wanted to come and watch before I decide if I want to sign up." Nick stuttered out the lie, looking nervously at the woman. He could feel the judgment and her eyes roaming his figure. It made him feel so uncomfortable.

"Alright. The gallery is closed so… The studio is that way; most of them are lifting weights in the gymnasium but soon they are going to the studio for the practice. You have some benches there." She pointed to a hallway that led to a door.

Nick frowned a bit at the word studio but then when she finished he simply nodded and thanked the fact the conversation had ended. He walked to the door and once he pushed it open he understood why she had said studio, it was actually a ballet studio but it was obviously being used for karate since the walls were covered with all sorts of posters about karate.

“Nick?” Nick turned his head and smiled at Jeff.

“Hey.” He mumbled, smiling shyly.

Jeff walked over to Nick hugging him close. “I thought you weren’t coming!”

“I made an effort...” Nick shrugged and leaned a bit back. “Let me look at you!” He grinned widely, eyeing Jeff. “You look nice with your kimono.”

Jeff grinned widely and adjusted his belt, proudly. “Thank you!”

Nick smiled wider and leaned up to kiss Jeff. “I’m going to sit now, your practice should be starting.”

Jeff nodded. “Let me show you some katas before the others get here.” Jeff grinned but then he didn’t have time to even step away from Nick before the girl with the blue hair and the brunet guy from before stepped inside the studio.

“Hey Jeff!” The boy said and then he raised his eyebrow slightly at Nick, making him blush deeply.

“Jonathan! This is Nick!” Jeff said happily, pulling a very red Nick close.

“Oh...” Jonathan grinned. “You are the famous Nick? Nice to meet you.”

“Isn’t that the boy I bumped against outside?” The girl asked lowly to Jonathan before the boy went over Nick to shake his hand.

“Nice to meet you too.” Nick smiled a bit, shaking Jonathan’s hand.

“I’m Rebecca, by the way!” The girl nodded letting her gym bag fall to the ground, fixing her kimono after.

Nick nodded back at her.

“We actually met Nick outside... He looked quite pale, but now he looks... Normal again.” Jonathan said, amusedly. “Are you going to try the practice or...?” He asked.

Nick shook his head quickly. “Nope. Not my thing. I am just going to watch...” _Jeff._ He added mentally.

“Then sit and enjoy, Jeffie boy here is one of the best around. After me, of course.” Rebecca said as she put her belt on.

“Becca...” Jeff blushed.

“What? Nick came to see _you_ anyway... Didn’t he?” She teased.

“I did.” Nick muttered.

“See?!” She chuckled. Nick blushed deeply as he wasn’t aware she would hear him.


	14. Chapter 14

Jeff gave Nick a quick kiss before he let him go sit. Nick smiled at how excited Jeff looked, if he had known Jeff would be this happy he would have come earlier to see his practice.

Nick had just sat when a few boys came in the studio, Nick was still looking at Jeff as he was talking casually with Jonathan about what they were going to do that day when the movements of the other guys caught his attention. He glanced over at them and his eyes grew big as he also blushed. They were changing into their kimonos right there in front of everyone!

Nick looked away glancing at Rebecca, she seemed quite chilled. Did they do this all the time? Apparently so... Why couldn’t they be normal people like Rebecca and Jonathan and change in a locker room? Nick was still blushing when he glanced at the boys again discretely. They were all quite fit and... Nick looked away again, twisting his hands nervously on his lap. He looked slightly down and frowned a bit as he thought. Jeff was hotter than them. Even with his bruises and scratches he was so much hotter and beautiful, he hadn’t as many muscles as these guys but that didn’t mean much.

“What’s up with the frown?” Jeff asked sitting beside Nick.

Nick looked up. “You’re much hotter than them.” He said before he could filter his words.

Jeff looked over at the boys and laughed a bit as he looked down at Nick again, loving the different shades of red on his cheeks. “Should I be jealous, Nicky? Why were you looking?” Jeff asked with a smirk.

Nick blushed deeply. “It’s kind of impossible to not look, I mean... They are right there!” Nick shrieked. “And I just said you’re better so shut up.”

Jeff chuckled. “Come here, darling.” Jeff said and pulled Nick for a quick discrete kiss. “I gotta go now, but your eyes better be on me the whole time.” Jeff said playfully.

“Or what?” Nick asked as he understood Jeff was joking.

Jeff wondered for a few seconds and then a sly smirk grew on his face. He moved closer to Nick to whisper to his ear. “I’ll make sure next time you’ll only be interested in looking at me, and believe me Nicky, after that you won’t be able to look at me again without having a problem, so you should think it through...” Jeff said squeezing Nick’s thigh.

Nick froze but he was everything but cold. His face was deep red as well as his ears, wishing he had more layers of clothes just so he could take them off.

While the guys started to warm up, Nick looked away so he could recompose.

When the actual practice started Nick finally understood how much Jeff loved it. It was like Nick wasn’t even there, Jeff was completely focused on the work he was doing, and his moves were fast and precise.

Nick watched amazed as Jeff fought against Jonathan, the sensei, and was actually winning from what he understood. Then he and the whole group started making these katas or whatever Jonathan had said. The first ones looked easy, nothing too elaborate. The katas got gradually harder making the ones with lower graduation go sit on the benches watching the others. Jeff and Jonathan were the last ones standing. Nick watched his boyfriend closely feeling both turned on and still amazed.

"Do you need a mop for the drool?" Rebecca asked with a grin and only then Nick noticed his mouth was hanging open.

He straightened up and closed his mouth, a blush gracing his cheeks. “No…” He mumbled.

Rebecca chuckled. “It’s okay… I recognise, Jeff is pretty hot…” Rebecca winked. “I would tap that.” She added more to herself than to Nick.

Nick rose an eyebrow at her a very sassy “Excuse you?!” stuck in his throat. He turned forward with a small frown.

Jonathan and Jeff finished soon after. Jonathan made a very whiny group make a bunch of sit ups and pull ups before they stretched and were dismissed.

"On a scale from one to ten how boring was that?" Jeff asked dropping heavily beside Nick.

"Zero… I didn’t even feel the hour pass…" Nick smiled a bit. "You were awesome."

Jeff smiled wide and proudly. “Thanks! Come on… Let’s go to the locker room I need a quick shower…” Jeff said.

"What about them?" Nick asked gesturing to the others.

"They are still hitting the sauna." Jeff said and got up to reach for his bag.

Nick nodded and got up too, following Jeff to the locker room. He waited near the lockers sitting on a bench as Jeff showered.

"I’m really glad you liked to come here… Thanks for the surprise." Jeff smiled widely as he approached Nick, only a towel around his waist.

Nick blinked his thoughts away and smiled at Jeff. “I wanted to do it for you…” He said earning a soft kiss from Jeff.

"It was really nice" Jeff said cupping Nick’s face gently.

Nick smiled, looking at Jeff’s warm eyes.

Jeff frowned. “What’s wrong?” Jeff asked sitting beside Nick.

“What? Nothing’s wrong… Why should there be something wrong? I’m fine… Everything’s fine.” Nick rambled, blushing lightly.

Jeff raised an eyebrow, watching Nick. “Are you feeling uncomfortable? Do you want me to dress quickly?” Jeff asked softly after a few seconds.

“No!” Nick said too fast, blushing deeply as Jeff smirked. “I mean… Yes dress but… You don’t need to rush because of me. I’m fine.” Nick said quickly.

Jeff chuckled. “Then what is it?” He asked brushing their lips together softly.

Nick sighed and pulled Jeff closer by the back of his neck kissing him deeply only letting him go when Jeff kissed him back eagerly and pulled him close. “I’m fine.” Nick said breathing heavily, a smile on his lips.

Jeff opened his eyes looking at Nick a bit surprised. Nick usually wasn’t this… Forward and confident. It was sexy. Jeff leaned to kiss Nick again, pulling the glasses up so they were out of the way, glad the boy answered passionately.

“Go dress…” Nick whispered when he leaned back to breathe, patting Jeff’s chest gently.

Jeff nodded and got up with a wide smile.

They were already driving home when Jeff finally decided to ask. “What was that about?” He asked casually.

Nick looked over at him. “What?”

“The kiss…” Jeff glanced at Nick. “I’m not complaining though… Far from it.” He grinned.

“Oh…” Nick blushed. “It’s silly, never mind it.”

“No! Tell me!” Jeff asked. If it had been something Jeff had said he wanted to know so he could do it again.

Nick sighed. “Rebecca said she would ‘tap that’” Nick air quoted with his fingers. “Referring to you and I… I realised that she’s probably not the only person who thinks like that and…” Nick said pushing his glasses up as he was looking down at his knees. “I don’t like the thought of other people thinking about you like that. You’re _my_ boyfriend.”

“Oh…” Jeff grinned widely. “Don’t mind Rebecca, she flirts a lot but she won’t get anything from me.” He said casually but looking expectantly at Nick.

“She flirts with you?!” Nick looked up making Jeff quickly look away.

“Yeah, but it’s not a big deal...” Jeff shrugged parking his car.

“What does she say?” Nick said unbuckling his belt and turning to Jeff with his arms crossed. He looked quite annoyed.

Jeff unbuckled too so he could turn to Nick. “It’s not what she says, it’s what she does... She gets all touchy and giggly.” Jeff shrugged.

“I don’t care she’s in karate! I am going to kick her butt!” Nick huffed. “I swear! No one does that to my boyfriend! _My_ boyfriend!” He said his voice going louder.

Jeff grinned as he watched Nick. “I didn’t know you were like this... I like it.” Nick glared at Jeff. “Nicky... I was joking, Rebecca is dating Jonathan now she doesn’t flirt with me.” Jeff chuckled softly.

Nick frowned. “You. Are. So. Stupid!” he said punching Jeff’s arm but not doing it too strongly so he wouldn’t hurt him. His glasses fell and Nick clumsily grabbed them and put them on as he also got out of the car.

Jeff bit his lip and got out too, jogging around the car to hug Nick from behind to make him stop. “Don’t get mad at me.” Jeff asked.

Nick huffed and turned around with a pout looking up at Jeff over his glasses. “Why?” He asked.

“Because it was nice to see how much you want me to yourself and yourself only.” Jeff gave him a trying smile. “Also you are sexy when you get all possessive.” Jeff grinned.

Nick rolled his eyes but then chuckled. “Oh Jeff... You’re so silly.” Nick shook his head fondly and kissed Jeff softly.

Jeff grinned widely and kissed him back before reaching for his electronic cigarette.

The next couple of weeks were calm and nice. Nick and Jeff spent a lot of time together since they were in holidays. They did all their homework in the first days so they could be free the rest of the time.

Jeff was the one to go Christmas shopping with Nick. Not that Nick had much to buy, he only gave presents to his mothers and now his boyfriend but he wouldn’t get Jeff present with him right there. Jeff also bought something for Nick’s mothers even though Nick kept saying it wasn’t needed.

“I want to. They truly saved me. This is a nice way to show them how thankful I am” Jeff had said and Nick gave up, a smile on his lips as he helped Jeff with the present.

One of Nick’s favourite days was definitely when Jeff decided he wanted to decorate the Duval’s household for the holidays.

“So where are the decorations?” Jeff asked rolling up his sleeves.

“In the attic...” Nick said and gestured for Jeff to follow him.

“These are pretty... No baby Jesus though?” Jeff smiled once he opened the big box where they kept all the decorations.

Nick then proceeded to explain that neither of his mothers believed in anything religious, so their Christmas was only about them being together as a family and showing how much they loved each other. Sometimes Nick would have to celebrate this season in a Catholic or Jewish way if his grandparents decided to pass by but that was extremely rare. At Jeff’s confused frown Nick continued his explanation saying that Lia was the heir of a long line of Hebrews and Catherine’s parents just happened to be catholic. So was that why Nick called Lia ima? Jeff had asked and Nick nodded. Ima is the Hebrew word for mum. He answered.

It was nice to see how Jeff seemed to be interested in Nick’s life and every single detail about him. Jeff quickly started decorating the house with Nick’s help resulting in several tickle fights and small make out sessions.

Nick got his present for Jeff a few days after that while he was at karate practice.

Jeff slept over in Nick’s house from the 24th to the 25th of December.

In the morning Nick woke up in a jump and quickly leaned over to whisper at Jeff who was sleeping on an air mattress beside Nick’s bed. “Jeffie! Jeffie! Jeffieeeee!”

Jeff rolled around and groaned. “What?”

“It’s the 25th!” Nick whispered.

Jeff jumped on his mattress, ending up falling with a loud _thud,_ making Nick giggle.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked.

“Yeah, yeah!” Jeff quickly got up.

Nick reached for his glasses and got up too. “I’ll go wake up my mums” He smiled widely but before he could they heard something outside.

“What if they get a heart attack?” A hushed voice came from outside. There was a pause. “Okay, fine, Cat, but if one of them falls off the bed you are the one to take care of it!”

“Well, good I am a nurse then.” Catherine snorted. “Just don’t drop the hot cocoa, yeah?”

Nick covered his mouth so he wouldn’t giggle and gestured for Jeff to lie down again. Nick did the same, quickly taking his glasses off.

“Merry Christmas!” Lia and Catherine shouted as they got in the room.

Jeff fell off his air mattress again to pretend he had woken up startled and Nick was just going to turn around but he ended up bursting in giggles. “Jeffie! You were supposed to just pretend you were waking up!”

“That’s how I wake up!” Jeff grinned widely as he climbed back to his mattress.

They ended up all laughing once Lia and Catherine understood what had happened.

“How did you sleep boys?” Lia asked placing a tray with four mugs on the centre of Nick’s bed. Both women sat on the edge of the bed and Catherine gestured for Jeff to join them. Jeff smiled widely and sat beside Nick, leaning a bit to him.

“We slept well...” Jeff ended up saying, Nick smiling shyly at the use of the plural form. It was nice.

Nick reached for his glasses again before they all reached for a mug. Nick was the first to say something. “It’s so good!” He hummed happily.

“Is that mint?” Jeff asked. “It makes it taste amazing!”

Catherine and Lia smiled contently and then they all enjoyed their drinks in silence as their mouths were too busy to talk.

“Thanks for everything” Jeff said placing his mug down and licking his lips.

“No problem, Jeff... You’re like family now.” Catherine said with a soft smile. “And seriously, you can stop thanking every other five minutes we like to have you around.”

Jeff smiled and blushed a bit when Nick leaned to kiss his cheek.

“Should we go downstairs and open the presents?” Lia asked with a wide smile.

Nick quickly jumped off his bed and Jeff followed with a chuckle. They sat on the floor on a circle near the Christmas tree.

Nick’s mothers claimed the first turn on giving the presents. They started with giving a box to Nick. It had a nice wintery wrapping paper and a big bow like Nick liked them. He smiled widely and kissed his mother’s cheeks before carefully taking the bow off and ripping the wrapping paper in shreds. He opened the box and pulled his glasses up on his nose.

“Oh my-!” he gasped. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He said pulling them both for a tight hug at the sight of the Mists of Avalon book collection. Nick had been looking for those for months now.

“Okay, now me!” Jeff said with a wide smile when Nick leaned back again.

“You didn’t have to buy anything.” Catherine said.

“I wanted to.” Jeff shrugged and started with Catherine and Lia’s present. “I noticed you didn’t have anything like this and Nick told me you valorise your marriage a lot so...” Jeff said getting up to go get their present that was hidden under the couch.

They ripped the paper and then both got emotional at the huge frame with a picture of them on their wedding day. Nick had shown the wedding album to Jeff one that and that single photo had stood out to him.

In the photograph Catherine and Lia were both with their white wedding gowns which were both gorgeous but so different. In a way, Lia’s was a bit plainer than Catherine’s but beautiful none the less, it was a mermaid body gown with a long tail. Catherine’s, on the other hand, was a delicate looking ball gown. The fabric that made Lia’s was very silky and shiny but Catherine’s fabric was lacy and the whole dress looked slightly fluffier.

Since none of their religions accepted same sex marriage they had a civil marriage but Catherine had insisted on the dresses.

Catherine was leaned over slightly, being held by her new wife as she laughed. The red head woman was glowing with happiness and love. Lia was holding Catherine and looking at her with the most loving eyes Jeff had ever seen, if Nick looked at him with half of that love Jeff could consider himself a very lucky and happy person.

It was clear the women got emotional with the present but as they didn’t say anything Jeff started getting really worried. Did he cross the line? Maybe it was too personal. He shouldn’t have. He bit his lip hard and it was needed Nick to place a gentle hand on his thigh for Jeff to release his lip and take a deep breath.

"It should fit above your bed on the wall… Or above your drawer in the room… Or even here in the living room over there." Jeff said in a rushed nervous voice pointing out to the place he said the frame could go to.

Catherine as the first one to finally look away from the photograph and pull Jeff for a tight hug, Lia quickly followed her wife’s steps and embraced them both with a teary smile. “That is perfect.” One of them said and the other nodded in agreement. Jeff smiled widely, letting himself be hugged.

"My turn!" Nick exclaimed after with a big grin. "Me and Jeff had similar inspirations… I hope you like it" He said as he pushed his present towards his mothers.

It was a big album that started with pictures of Lia and Catherine when they were dating then a few of their wedding. It moved on to when Lia had been pregnant of Nick and then a photo of the night he was born, Lia looked exhausted while holding her baby son but still so happy and another of Nick still just a couple of days old in Catherine’s hands his eyes really wide as she booped his nose with her own, a wide smile on her lips. As they flicked through the pages the years passed and Nick would be older and older in the family photos.

The last page on the album had three photos. The first was one of Jeff smoking on first plan and Lia on the second trying to make the water vapour make some forms in the air. The second one was Catherine teaching Jeff how to cook this indulgent chocolate cake Nick loved. And the third and last was a photo of Nick and Jeff kissing softly.

One of the prettiest things about the album was that it was one of the old ones, Nick had grabbed the envelopes where they kept their photos and chosen the ones he liked more to glue them on the paper pages of the album, it was much more personal like this.

Nick was captured in another hug which he returned with a wide happy smile, chuckling when Catherine said something about them wanting to make her cry.

Once Catherine was composed again she and Lia exchanged their presents. Catherine gave Lia a gorgeous silver locket and Lia gave Catherine a beautiful summer dress and silver bracelet. Needless to say they both loved the presents.

When it was time for Jeff and Nick to give their presents to each other Jeff was the first one to pull out his present. It had a weird shape so Nick had a great trouble guessing what it was.

Nick quickly ripped the paper apart shrieking a bit when he saw it. It was a TARDIS for his room and a book that would teach him Gallifreyan. “I noticed you didn’t have many Doctor Who things and you like it a lot so…” Jeff said with a small smiled before being tackled by Nick.

"I love it!" He said happily and kissed Jeff quickly, hugging him close after. “Now open mine!” He said excitedly reaching for a box.

Jeff laughed when he saw Nick’s present. “I love it!” He said as he pulled the black karate belt that read ‘Nick’s property’ in machine sewed letters on the back zone. Nick smiled widely as Jeff kissed his cheek even though that was just a private joke between them and not really the actual present.

Jeff turned to the belt again to look at it better, chuckling softly. When he noticed the box’s bottom on the inside didn’t match the outside’s bottom he frowned and carefully removed the fake bottom.

Nick bit his lip as he watched Jeff carefully.

Jeff pulled out a black leather jacket and grinned widely, pulling Nick for a kiss.

“Yours is so worn out and full of burns and getting so small that I wanted to give you a new one.” Nick said when Jeff leaned back.

“I love it.” Jeff said honestly and pulled the jacket on. “How does it look?” He asked.

“Get up, so we can see it properly!” Lia said with a wide smile.

Jeff nodded and got up twirling slowly. “You look handsome.” Nick said with a wide smile. “But look again into the box.” He said his smile getting wider, if possible.

Jeff frowned and sat again. More things? He saw a little velvet black box inside the bigger one, it had been hidden by the jacket.

“It’s not a wedding ring!” Nick assured his mothers who looked quite concerned once Jeff pulled the box out. Jeff also seemed a bit relieved. “Come on, the box isn’t little enough...” Nick rolled his eyes at people’s reaction.

“Well, a ring fits in the bigger boxes.” Catherine pointed out.

“But it’s not a ring...” Nick said. Jeff was still looking at the box which was starting to make him nervous.

Finally, after what felt like some long minutes, Jeff opened the little box and tilted his head slightly confused. Nick sat closer to him and pulled out one of the necklaces that was in there. There were two. Each one had one half of the Yin Yang symbol.

“I got the idea from Mulan...  It’s because we are so different but we kind of complement each other. It’s lame.” Nick mumbled looking down at his lap.

Jeff looked over at Nick and smiled softly. “No. It’s cute, I like it.” He said and reached to put his necklace on before cupping Nick’s cheek so he would look up and he could kiss him properly.

They hugged for a few long minutes both smiling. Then Jeff helped Nick with his white Yin Yang half and was ready to grab his presents and go keep them in his room when Nick’s mothers stopped him.

“You still haven’t opened ours.” Lia said with a soft smile.

“Oh... I didn’t know...” Jeff mumbled as Catherine gave him a small box. “Thanks” He smiled.

Jeff took the wrapper out of the way and chuckled softly. “Chocolate cigarettes? Is this supposed to be a hint?” He asked playfully.

Catherine chuckled. “Not really.”

Nick raised an eyebrow at the grin Lia had on her face. Jeff opened the fake cigarette box but he noticed there were a couple missing he frowned as he pulled out a key chain that was on the space where the cigarettes should be. The Duval’s were experts in false appearances, Jeff had to admit. “Is this...” Jeff asked in a small voice as he watched the key on the end of the key chain.

“This is our way to tell you that once you get out of your mother’s house you have a place to stay. No matter how things with Nick develop.” Lia said calmly.

Nick clapped his hand over his mouth as he gasped in surprise while Jeff’s eyes just filled with tears, happy ones. Definitely the best Christmas ever.


	15. Chapter 15

Nick threw himself to the bed with a wide happy smile. A small giggle escaped his lips as he rolled around on the mattress. Today was the day. Today was the day Jeff was going to move in to the guest’s room permanently, from that day on it wouldn’t be the guest’s room anymore it would be Jeff’s room.

Jeff’s birthday had been three days ago but he didn’t want to move right away, he wanted to pack everything so when he was to move he only had to grab the boxes and go. He also hadn’t want to start packing early just in case his mother caught him, this way if she did he could just run away from the house and later they’d all find a way to get Jeff’s things and there wouldn’t be problems with the fact he would be underage. As he hadn’t let Nick help him pack he had taken 3 days to finish all his packing.

Nick closed his eyes, a wide smile on his lips.

***

“Jeff...!” Nick giggled. “Stop you need to go pack!” He said with a teasing tone.

“We both know I’m sleeping over, no packing.” Jeff grinned against Nick’s neck. “But if you want me to lean back...”

“No!” Nick pulled Jeff close to him again, rolling them around so he would be on top of Jeff as they lied down on Jeff’s bed to be. “You know I didn’t mean it.” He smiled down at Jeff.

“I know...” Jeff smiled up at Nick. Jeff loved how their relationship had grown since their started dating. Nick looked happier, and calmer in a way.

The last time Jeff had seen Nick take an anxiety pill had been at least one month ago which was pretty good since he used to take those every day. He was also more comfortable around Jeff, they would often make out and end up only in their underwear and although Nick had freaked out the first couple of times after Jeff assured him there was no pressure and that he really thought he was gorgeous either way Nick was able to relax and get more intimate with Jeff. They hadn’t had sex yet though, but that was a barrier Nick was going to try and break tonight, on Jeff’s birthday.

Jeff leaned up to kiss Nick who quickly replied. Jeff ran his hands down Nick’s torso, tugging lightly on Nick’s t-shirt. “Wait wait wait.” Nick asked as leaned back. “Let me take my contacts off, I don’t want to lose them.

Jeff raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “But then you won’t see me...”

Nick huffed. “Good point.”

Jeff hummed softly and leaned down to brush his lips on Nick’s neck. “Don’t worry you won’t lose them, we’re going slow.”

Nick smiled a bit and nodded before pulling his arms up so Jeff could take his t-shirt off. The blond boy did so and ran his fingers down Nick’s torso, planting small kisses down his chest. Nick hummed contently, tangling his fingers in Jeff’s hair.

A tingling feeling grew in Nick’s stomach. He knew what it was but he tried to shake it away. It was okay to be nervous, he trusted Jeff and he knew he wouldn’t hurt him so he only had to take a deep breath and relax.

But it was hard and as Jeff slowly undressed Nick, Nick’s anxiety only grew. With trembling fingers he undressed Jeff as well. “If you want to stop it’s fine, Nicky.” Jeff said softly as he noticed.

“I don’t want to stop.” Nick said and pulled Jeff closer to kiss him deeply.

Jeff grinned and held Nick by his hips, pressing their bodies together.

Nick kept trying to calm down but it wasn’t working.

Hands ran gently over skin, kisses were trailed, soft loving words said. Nick’s anxiety grew.

Jeff hooked his fingers on Nick’s boxers but before he could even ask the brunet if he could pull them down Nick moved away with a gasp.

“I can’t, I can’t. I’m sorry, Jeff, I can’t do this.” He panted and sat up holding his head in his hands, shaking. “I’m sorry” He said shakily.

“Hey, hey...” Jeff moved closer to him and held him close. “It’s fine, Nicky. We can wait.” He said soothingly. “I don’t want you to move faster than you feel comfortable.”

Nick sighed. “I’m sorry. Really” He mumbled leaning to cuddle Jeff.

“It’s fine.” Jeff kissed him gently. “Let’s go get some ice cream instead. You got me all worked up now I need to cool down...”

“Jeffie.” Nick whined and looked down guiltily.

“Oh come on, look at yourself, you’re hotter than hell itself!” Jeff pointed out.

Nick giggled. “Shut up, you know it’s the opposite.” He said reluctantly leaning away from Jeff to pick up his clothes.

“Opposite or not, I need an ice cream” Jeff grinned.

“Fine, but I pay!” Nick jumped off the bed.

Jeff rolled his eyes but he knew it wasn’t worth trying to make Nick change his mind about this. He crawled in the bed and kissed Nick. “Can I pay you in kisses?” He asked with a smile.

Nick giggled again. “Yes, sure.”

***

A knock on the door woke Nick up. “Wake up sleepy head, I need your help to bring the boxes from my old house!” Jeff said with a wide grin.

Nick hummed and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He felt lazy now, he was still excited with the move in but oh so lazy. “I was having a nice dream.” He pouted.

“Oh?” Jeff crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe.

“Your birthday.” Nick blushed.

“That was an excellent day. The ice cream was amazing.” Jeff smiled widely.

“Actually the dream was about what happened before that.” Nick blushed more.

“Oh... I see.” Jeff grinned wider finally leaning back from the doorframe and walking towards Nick. “That was very nice as well.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “It’s not like much happened.” He mumbled, looking down.

Jeff sat on Nick’s lap, wrapping his legs around Nick before making him look up. “It was good no matter what.” He said softly and leaned to kiss Nick. “Because I love you and that’s what matters.” He said after he leaned back.

Nick smiled shyly but kissed back when Jeff kissed him. “Okay... We should go though, we need to be done before your mother comes back from work.”

Jeff nodded and pecked Nick’s neck gently before he got up. Nick whined.

“What?” Jeff asked with a frown.

“I know I was the one who said for you to get up but I didn’t really want you to.” Nick mumbled with a pout. Pushing his glasses up and looking up at Jeff with big puppy eyes.

Jeff chuckled softly. “You’re suck a dork.” He said and leaned down to kiss him.

“I know I am, but the fact that I want you to stay close to me has nothing to do with it” Nick said promptly as he got up.

Jeff rolled his eyes playfully and slapped Nick’s butt gently, looking up right away to the ceiling with an innocent look as Nick’s head shot back to him with an eyebrow raised.

“You fail to look innocent when you’re the only one present here, Jeff.” Nick pointed out.

“I have no idea of what you’re talking about... Nicholas.” Jeff teased.

Nick glared at Jeff and pinched his butt.

“Hey!” Jeff jumped a bit and chuckled. “You’re lucky you’re my boyfriend.”

“I have no idea of what you’re talking about, Jeffrey” Nick smiled sweetly and left the room.

Jeff rolled his eyes fondly and followed Nick, hugging him from behind to kiss his cheek. “I love you.”

Nick looked over his shoulder at Jeff, smiling. “I love you too.”

Jeff pecked Nick’s lips before reaching for his hand to lead him out.

Half an hour later they were at Jeff’s door. “We just gotta hurry, I don’t want to see my mother.” Jeff said as he opened the door.

“Of course, the boxes are on your room ready to take, right?” Nick asked.

Jeff simply nodded, feeling a knot on his throat, he was starting to get really nervous. Not so much for moving out but afraid they’d cross his mother. His hand found its way to his stomach where he had a large bruise. Even though he spent so much time at Nick’s sometimes he still had to see his mother around in the house and he was still the victim of violent acts. Nick always felt guilty when Jeff would appear in house hurt but Jeff would always assure him that he was already doing much more than he needed and that it was really not his fault. It didn’t exactly sooth Nick’s heart but it helped him not feel as guilty.

“I can go for you. Bring the boxes to the hall and you’ll load them in the car.” Nick said as he noticed Jeff tensing up.

“No, I’m fine.” Jeff shook his head.

“Jeff, it’s okay, you don’t have to come in anymore, your mother isn’t around I can easily go, it’s more than fine.”

Jeff bit his lip and nodded. “Okay.” He finally gave in.

Nick smiled softly and kissed Jeff’s cheek. “Where is your room?” He asked.

“Upstairs, first door on the right.”

Nick nodded and quickly rushed in to go get the boxes, he wanted to hurry up for Jeff, he wanted to leave that place and never come back, he knew how much Jeff suffered there and he wanted that to end, he was really glad it would end really soon.

Jeff didn’t have many boxes to bring but they were quite heavy so Nick had to be careful as he carried everything down.

Jeff anxiety was growing as Nick would carry the boxes down it was like there was always just one more but they would never end.

“This one’s the last one!” Nick called out from upstairs and Jeff breathed out relieved. They were almost done, they could go and Jeff would never come back.

As soon as Nick appeared, climbing down the stairs, Jeff smiled and breathed relieved.

But nothing is never so simple. Of course not.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Came a cold voice from behind Jeff.

Jeff’s heart sank to his feet, his body felt cold as ice as he froze. Nick frowned as he saw the long haired blonde lady. When he imagined Jeff’s mother he had always thought it would be someone... That looked like she had been taken from _Shameless,_ he had thought that only people with low education and from that social extract would have such barbaric behaviours. But Nick was so wrong.

Nick should have learned that lesson with Jeff but only after he saw his mother he learned properly the meaning of the expression ‘don’t judge a book by the cover’.

Jeff’s mother at the first sight looked a quite educated woman, probably boss from a big corporation.

Jeff finally got out of his shock state and turned around. “I’m moving out.” He mumbled, his mouth so dry it felt like sandpaper.

“Excuse me?” The woman’s blonde eyebrows shot up.

“You heard me.” Jeff said stepping back when she stepped forward.

Nick stood silent until he saw Jeff was terrified and his mother kept getting closer to him. “Don’t you dare touching him!” He warned climbing down the rest of the stairs quickly, almost losing his balance.

  “And who are you?” Jeff’s mother asked as she noticed Nick for the first time.

“That doesn’t concern you. I am here to take Jeff away from you and there’s nothing you can do about it. He’s overage and you can’t stop him.” He said firmly and gave the box to Jeff, who held it, so he could lead him out.

“So, you’re his bitch now, Jeffrey?” She asked amused.

Nick frowned at her. “There’s only one bitch in this room and I can guarantee you it’s not the boy in the leather jacket.”

Jeff blinked at Nick and smiled at him softly. He could be so strong when it came to Jeff.

If you ask Jeff he wouldn’t be able to tell how he reacted so fast to his mother’s next movement. She raised her hand to hurt Nick somehow but when the hand was high Jeff had already dropped the box and moved towards her to keep it up there.

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

“Let me go you useless piece of shit.” She growled at Jeff.

Usually Jeff would let go, he would make himself small and wait for the pain. Not today. “No.” Jeff said looking fearless.

Jeff’s mother tried to raise the other hand to do something but Jeff grabbed it and twisted her wrists, now he looked angry. “Never again will you raise your hand to hit me.” He said between gritted teeth. “I was your son!” He shouted right on her face.

The woman whined and whimpered as her wrists hurt, she looked up at him with a pained and shocked face. She never thought Jeff would turn against her, she didn’t think he would have the courage to.

“Let me go!”

“Why should I? After all, you never listened when I asked for you to stop beating me up. When I said you were killing me. I could beat you up right now, make you feel some of the pain you made me feel.” Jeff said and applied more pressure on his mother’s wrists making her whine loudly.

“Jeff.” Nick placed his hand on Jeff’s arm. “Enough, let’s go home.” He said softly not liking to see this side of Jeff.

Jeff glanced at Nick and quickly let go off his mother who leaned over herself holding on her aching wrists. He grabbed the box blinking as he realised what he had just done and said.

“You will regret this! Your stupid boyfriend will realise how fucked up and useless you are and he’s going to leave you and then you’ll be alone!” She groaned.

“Ignore Jeff.” Nick said softly before shutting the door firmly behind him. He led Jeff to the car and as he seemed to be in a shock state he made him sit on the passenger’s seat so he would drive himself.

The way back home was made in silence, Nick was getting worried, he tried to make Jeff say something, anything, but the blond wouldn’t open his mouth, he just stared out of the window blankly. Nick had to lead Jeff into the house; Jeff looked extremely pale and was simply staring into nothing at this point.

“Jeff please, you’re scaring me. Say something.” Nick asked sitting on the couch beside the blond boy.

Jeff blinked hard and glanced at Nick. “I... I stood up against her. I hurt her.” He mumbled. “I’m screwed!”

Nick pulled Jeff for a hug. “No, shhhh, it’s okay. You’re safe now, Jeffie. You’re here with me and you’ll be fine.” Nick muttered soothingly.

Jeff gripped Nick’s shirt pulling him closer as he started crying.

“Jeff, please, it’ll be fine. She can’t hurt you now.” Nick said worriedly.

“I’m okay” Jeff sobbed out, shaking in Nick’s arms. “I’m just so relieved.”

“Oh...” Nick mumbled and held Jeff close letting him cry it out.

It took a long while, Nick was just stroking Jeff’s hair gently as he cried, but finally Jeff stopped crying. Nick made them both lie down and cuddled Jeff.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked softly.

Jeff nodded. “Sorry.” He mumbled tiredly. “After so many years I... I never thought I could do what I did today. Not only stand up to her but to leave that house.”

Nick pecked his lips. “It’s fine, I understand, love. Try to sleep for a bit.” He smiled softly.

“But the boxes” Jeff protested.

“You live here now, we have time.” Nick smiled and cuddled closer to a smiling Jeff.

Next thing both boys knew they were being woken up. “We have dinner!” Lia shouted thinking they were upstairs.

“Ima!” Nick whined. “Shhhh” He said pulling Jeff close.

“They’re downstairs,” Catherine said surprised.

“Are you done unpacking?” Lia asked as she got inside the living room, placing the Burger King bags down on the coffee table.

Nick looked over his shoulder. “Food!” He grinned and untangled from Jeff to get it.

Jeff rubbed his eyes sleepily. “We were tired we decided to take a nap.” He mumbled.

“But did everything go well in your house?” Lia asked.

Jeff bit his lip and shrugged and that was everything Catherine and Lia needed to know they hadn’t been alone. Catherine quickly sat beside Jeff on the couch once he sat up and pulled him for a hug. “You’re safe now, honey.” She promised.

Jeff smiled softly and hugged her back until Lia gave the food around for them all to eat.

Lia and Catherine didn’t ask about what had happened as they both could see neither of the boys had gotten hurt, it was a closed and finished chapter now, no need to bring it up.

***

“Nick, this won’t work if you keep reading my comics instead of putting them on the shelf.” Jeff grinned a bit as he kept away hi clothes.

“Sorry!” Nick whined for the fifth time that night. “You have awesome comics! It’s not my fault” He mumbled.

“Okay trade with me. Fold my clothes and whatnot and I’ll take care of the comics.” Jeff rolled his eyes fondly.

Nick huffed and blew a kiss goodbye to the comics. “I’ll come back for you my loves.” He said playfully making Jeff laugh.

They moved faster after the change was made, Nick was quick with the folding and Jeff wouldn’t stop to read the comics so he was faster as well.

“Oh my God...” Nick said after a while, his eyes wide.

“What?” Jeff asked and looked up, his face turning deep red. “Fuck... Give me that!” He quickly launched himself at Nick but there was no use as Nick moved away. “Nick!”

“Oh no...” Nick shook his head and watched the man lingerie piece he had in his hands closely. “This is yours right?” He asked with an eyebrow raised.

Jeff managed to get redder. “Maybe”

Nick grinned. “You’ll dress it for me at some point, right?” He asked glancing at Jeff.

“Nick!” Jeff covered his face.

“Oh come on, Jeffie, you’ll look so sexy!” Nick giggled. “Why so shy all from sudden?” He asked.

“Because...” Jeff moved closer to Nick to take the lingerie from his hands. “Because.”

“Because? That’s a interesting answer. How many people have seen you with this?” He asked curiously.

“No one. I bought them to show you.” Jeff said scratching the back of his neck. “It was meant to be a surprise.”

“Oh...” Nick grinned and then moved closer to Jeff to kiss his heated cheek. “When you feel comfortable enough I won’t stop you from wearing it.” He said blushing lightly himself and biting back a smirk.

“So you don’t think it’s ridiculous?” Jeff mumbled.

Nick shook his head. “It’s sexy. And you’ll look even sexier in it.” He shrugged.

Nick was about to open his mouth to say something but Jeff decided to cut his word with a long kiss. “I think you should come back to the comics.” He mumbled when they parted.

“Now I really don’t want to.” Nick giggled earning himself a light playful punch on his arm.

 


	16. Chapter 16

“Cheers!” Lia said before driving her glass to her lips, Jeff, Catherine and Nick following her movements.

“I’m going to be honest, I was expecting Jeff to take weeks to unpack not a few days.” Nick said when he set his glass down.

“Are you implying I am lazy?” Jeff asked in mocking shocked tone.

“I wasn’t but if the hat fits...” Nick grinned earning himself a playful poke. He squirmed away giggling.

Catherine and Lia changed a smile and a look between them. Lia shook her head slowly, a movement that was almost unnoticeable even if you were looking closely.

“Who wants dessert?” Catherine asked turning to the boys.

“I do!” Jeff and Nick said at the same time turning their heads to Catherine.

Catherine chuckled. “I’ll get the cake then.” She said as she got up.

Nick got up to help out with the plates and everything.

They were all eating the chocolate cake happily when Lia broke the silence. “So... Nick, and Jeff – since you’re part of the family now –” Lia smiled at the sight of Jeff’s wide smile. “We have a little announcement to make!” Lia reached for Catherine’s hand with a smile.

Nick looked between them two with expectant eyes. Catherine’s smile almost divided her face in two so he was getting really curious.

“My love,” Lia said glancing at Catherine letting go of her hand so Catherine could drum roll on the table. “We’re adopting a baby!” Lia said with a wide grin.

Jeff gasped a bit and smiled widely. “Congratulations!” He jumped out of the chair to hug Lia and Catherine.

Nick on the other hand stayed on his chair a small frown on his face.

“Nicky?” Catherine bit her lip, waiting for her son to have some kind of reaction.

“I... Uhm...” Nick blinked hard. “Congrats!” He smiled, a bit forcefully, and hugged his mothers. “When is the baby arriving?” He asked leaning back.

“Well... We’ve been taking care of paperwork and all those needed things for the past months, so the baby, Violet, will be coming home next week.” Catherine answered with a smile though she was still not convinced with Nick’s smile.

“Woah, next week?” Nick said stepping back a little from them, an odd expression on his face. “Where is she going to stay? I mean... Your room, my room...?” Nick asked.

Lia sighed a bit. “We were hoping you wouldn’t mind staying with her in your room... It won’t be for long, I mean in a few months you’ll be going to college so...”

“Won’t she cry during the night?” Nick asked, he looked so off even Jeff was looking at him as if he was trying to read his mind so he could understand why he was acting all weird.

“No, she’s one year old but she sleeps through the night.” Catherine mumbled.

“Oh okay, cool cool... Well it’s kinda late...” Nick faked a yawn. “I’m going to bed.” He said and turned his back to go to his room.

“I have no idea what’s up with him.” Jeff mumbled when Nick was out of sight.

“Do you think he’s... Jealous?” Catherine frowned at Lia.

“Nick is more mature than that, that doesn’t make sense.” Lia replied. “Maybe he’s just tired.”

Catherine sighed. “I was hoping for a more cheerful reaction.”

“Me too.” Lia sighed as well.

“Don’t worry, he’ll come around. I’ll try to speak with him.” Jeff smiled a bit at them.

Lia pulled him close for a close hug and kissed his forehead. “Do you think you’d mind to have the crib in your room? Maybe we could move you in with Nick so Violet has her own room. I know you just unpacked but-”

Jeff cut her off by waving it off. “If it’s needed I’ll move to Nick’s room. It’s not a problem.” He smiled.

Catherine smiled a bit. “Thanks darling.”

Jeff nodded a bit and hugged Lia and Catherine goodnight before he grabbed his and Nick’s plate that still had some cake and climbed the stairs.

Jeff opened Nick’s door with some difficulty and stepped inside. Nick, who was lied down on his bed staring at the ceiling, didn’t even turn his head. “Hey” Jeff said calmly and placed the plates on the brunet’s bed and only then he closed the door.

Nick sighed and sat up. “I said I was tired.” He mumbled.

“I think I mentioned this before but you’re a terrible liar.” Jeff grinned slightly and sat n the bed reaching for his plate and taking a forkful of it, hoping Nick would take the hint and start speaking.

Nick grabbed his own plate and picked at the cake. “I’m fine.” He muttered but the look he received from Jeff told him he would have to elaborate. “Do you think I’m not good enough for them?” He asked.

“What?!” Jeff frowned, cake almost flying out of his mouth.

“I just... They never said they wanted to have a baby or anything and suddenly they adopted one behind my back?” Nick said the same weird look on his eyes as he looked down at the cake. “Don’t take this wrong, I am not jealous, I just... I don’t know. I couldn’t blame them, I am a failure. Sure I have nice grades but every time I need to be social I am a train wreck. How am I supposed to even go to college when there are so many people there? I’ll have panic attacks all day every day! They probably just want a normal kid; one that will bring a bunch of friends home for parties and sleepovers.” Nick said sadly.

Jeff looked at Nick brokenly, really sad that he was feeling this. He set the cake aside and swallowed what he had in his mouth before he took Nick’s plate out of his hands to hug him tight. “Nicky... They love you. They love you just how you are and you’re so much more than just good enough. This is not about that.”

Nick rested his head on Jeff’s shoulder letting himself be comforted. “Then what it is? They just randomly wanted a daughter?” Nick asked still not very convinced.

“They probably wanted to adopt a baby before, they just never expressed it to you, besides you know how hard it is to adopt a baby being in a homosexual relationship so maybe they just didn’t want to raise your expectations by telling you and then it would never happen. They thought you’d be happy to have a sister...”

“It’s not that I am not happy, I kinda am, I always imagined how it would be like to have a sibling...” Nick muttered, leaning back from the hug and looking down at his lap. “But I am terrible with babies, she’ll hate me.”

“Don’t be silly, she’ll love you.” Jeff reached for Nick’s hands.

“It’s not like I’ll be around much during these crucial years anyway.”

“Nick.” Jeff said soft but firmly making him look up. “Your mothers love you, I love you, your sister will love you. Stop doubting yourself, you’re amazing.”

Nick smiled a bit, not a fake one, and leaned to kiss Jeff softly. “Thank you.” He said truthfully.

“No problem.” Jeff smiled widely.

Nick reached for the plate with the cake again to eat calmly.

“Uhm... You should go talk with your mums... They were quite worried when you stormed out like that.” Jeff said making Nick look down in shame. “Come on Nicky, just go hug them and say you’re excited for the baby.”

Nick sighed. “Can’t I do that tomorrow?” he asked taking a large bite from his cake.

“No.” Jeff said firmly.

Nick sighed and stuffed the rest of the cake in his mouth before he grabbed his and Jeff’s plate. “Fine.” He said and got up. “No cuddling tonight.” He grumbled as he walked out of the room.

Nick climbed down the stairs calmly, taking his time. He could hear his mothers n the kitchen muttering between each other. He coughed loudly before he stepped inside so they knew he was coming and would stop with the hushing. Nick was sure it was about him so he really didn’t want to hear his mothers comment how immature he had been and how disappointed they were with him. This was already hard without having to hea to those things.

“Hey Nicky!” Catherine said softly as she saw her son. “Are you okay?” She asked hesitantly.

Nick didn’t look up at he put both plates in the washing machine. “Uh... Yeah. I just... I wanted to speak with you both.” He mumbled.

“What’s the matter?” Lia asked.

Nick kept looking down as he thought about the right words. “I’m sorry.” He said in a low voice. “I didn’t mean to behave like that before.” He said leaning against the counter and pushing his glasses up on his nose since as he was looking down they were slipping.

Lia and Catherine changed a look. “Oh it’s okay, honey.” Lia said. “We’re just sad you don’t seem to want a little sister. We thought you’d be happy with the news.”

“No! It’s not that!” Nick quickly said, looking up. “I mean... It’s complicated.” He looked down again. “I do want a sister,” He mumbled.

Catherine frowned. “Then what’s the problem?” She asked walking to her son to hug him, she hated to see Nick like this.

Nick moved away. “I don’t deserve hugs. I was dumb and immature and selfish.” He said.

“Nick...” Lia sighed. “At least look up at us, you’re worrying us!”

Nick sighed and looked up. “Is just that... I thought you wanted this baby because you weren’t proud of me and... You wanted a normal kid.” He said, feeling ridiculous but at the same time he needed to hear his mothers deny this. “And I am scared she won’t like me. I am terrible with kids, I don’t have the patience, kids don’t think I’m fun and... She’ll hate me and I don’t want her to hate me.”

“Nick.” Catherine said soft but at the same time firmly. “Stop with that nonsense.” She said. “We love you. We are incredibly proud of you, we couldn’t ask for a better son. Yes, you have your flaws but who hasn’t? You are normal, Nick.” She said seriously. “And your sister will love you. You’ll be her big brother, she’ll look up to you.” Catherine smiled softly.

Nick bit his lip. “You really think so?” He asked lowly.

“Of course we do!” Lia said.

“Nick, you bring us so much joy and we know you’ll bring your sister so much joy as well, not in the same way of course, but you will. She’ll love you as much as we do because we will be a family.” She smiled and pulled both her wife and her son for a family hug.

“So you’re not disappointed with me for acting all childish?” He asked when they al parted form the hugs.

“We’re just disappointed you didn’t speak with us right away.” Lia said. “We both know,” She pointed between her and Nick. “That you didn’t behave like you should have. But we’re not mad.” She said calmly.

Nick sighed and nodded. “I know. Sorry.” He said.

“It’s okay, don’t trouble your mind with it.” Lia said and pulled him close to kiss his forehead.

Nick smiled a bit and looked up at her. “I’m going to bed now.”

Catherine kissed Nick’s forehead as well. “Tell Jeff he doesn’t have to pretend to go to bed and then sneak into your room tonight.” She grinned making Nick’s cheeks flush. “What? Pffft, you two are crazy!” He said and turned his back and walked back to the room, ignoring his mothers’ chuckles.

***

“No not there! She’ll be able to peak at me while I dress!” Nick said and Jeff raised an eyebrow at him.

“Nick, I don’t know if you noticed but your room is not that big, if she is in the crib while you’re dressing she’ll see you. Doesn’t matter where the crib is.” Jeff said. He was tired of pushing the crib from corner to corner of the room while Nick decided where it should be.

Nick whined. “I don’t understand why she can’t go to my mothers’ room!” He said.

“So she doesn’t get too attached and doesn’t throw several tantrums during the night once they move her out.” Jeff said.

“What if she gets attached to me? Then I’ll be all the way in Princeton with you and I won’t be able to be here!” Nick pointed out.

Jeff rolled his eyes fondly but then looked at Nick. “Wait what?”

“What what?” Nick blinked at him.

“Did you just say Princeton? I thought you had received your scholarship to MIT!”

Nick smiled a bit. “Surprise, surprise!” He said a bit awkwardly. “I actually got my Princeton letter a couple of days ago, turns out they want me too and I wouldn’t want to be away from my man now would I?” He grinned.

“Nick, that’s insane, MIT is a great institution!” Jeff gasped.

Nick moved closer to Jeff, taking the blond’s hands in his. “I know, but so is Princeton and you got your scholarship for Princeton and not to MIT. And... Am I being crazy?” Nick was going to ramble about how much he loved Jeff but he ended up asking the question that had been bothering his mind for a while. He still hadn’t replied to the letters since he was a bit scared.

Jeff looked down at Nick with a small sad smile. “Yes.” He answered shortly.

“But Jeff, I love you. I don’t want to break up because I decided to go to a different uni!” Nick sighed.

“We don’t have to break up. It’ll be hard but we can keep a long distance relationship and we have many opportunities to see each other.”

Nick sighed and moved to hug Jeff.

“I’ll miss you, but we can do this.” Jeff mumbled as he hugged Nick back. “It’s not like we weren’t planning on having a long distance relationship. You know how I was planning to stay and work for a year.”

Nick huffed. “We both know you were coming with me and we would live together in my tiny campus room.”

Jeff chuckled. “Yes, true.”

Nick leaned back. “Let’s not think about this right now, okay? We still have time. School’s not even done yet, maybe until then you’ll be accepted in MIT, I mean your grades are pretty close to mine!” Nick said hopefully.

“I don’t know, we’ll see.” Jeff shrugged but he wasn’t hopefull.

“Let’s just push the crib in front of my bed. I’ll just take her to the living room every time I want to change clothes.” Nick said and Jeff nodded before helping.

***

A few days after the crib had been settled the baby was finally coming home. Nick had made sure he would be too busy to be there when it happened. “Someone needs to go get diapers and baby food.” He had said before he stormed off, ignoring Jeff calling out. “Nick come back! We have that stuff already!”

Nick only came back home once he received a text from Jeff saying little Violet was already safe at home. He was curious to see his new sister and he was sure she would be napping at those hours, so it would be fine right? He just didn’t want her to throw him something out of anger or disappointment or something.

“So is the baby here?” He asked as he stepped inside his house.

“Yes, she’s sleeping.” Lia said from the living room. “She was too excited because Jeff was playing with her so we had to give her one of your red pandas.” She added when Nick went to the living room to greet everyone.

“What!?” Nick asked. “But she’ll drool all over it!” He said but then stopped himself. “No. You know what? It’s fine. It’s fine. I have several ones. It’s fine.” He said and left the living room even before he actually greeted people.

“Where are you going?” Catherine asked.

“To my room.” Nick said. “To at least see my sister.” He said but there was no excitement in his voice.

He was being stupid, he knew that, but Nick couldn’t help himself, he sighed as he climbed the stairs.

Nick got in his room silently and walked up to the crib. Okay so maybe he understood why people said babies were cute. Violet was brunette but her skin was as pale as Catherine’s. She had one arm around a red panda plushie and she was smiling softly as she slept, her cheeks chubby almost asking for Nick to reach out and pinch them gently. Nick smiled at the sight of his sister. Woah, his sister. That was both weird and exciting

“So I guess it’s you and me now... The two Duval legacies, uh?” Nick said softly and really lowly. “Will you like me or will you hate me, now that’s the question here.”

The little girl moved around and Nick shut up right away.

He just stared at his sister for a while until Lia stormed in. “Nicky, Jeff is not feeling so well me and mum are taking him to the hospital.”

“What!?” Nick turned. “What’s wrong? No, I wanna go with you.” He said.

“No, no... We might need to try to use our insurance so we both need to be there and Violet can’t stay here alone.”

“So _I’m_ staying with her? Ima, this is a terrible idea. Terrible!” Nick widened his eyes. Violet woke up with the commotion and started crying.

“I’m sorry, Nicky, you can do this.” Lia said and stormed off again, Nick completely missing the sly smirk on her lips.

“No! Come back!” He called out but just a few seconds after the front door shut close. “Great” He huffed.

Violet gave a loud cry and Nick flinched and turned back to her. “Don’t cry,” He asked pointlessly.

Nick didn’t know what to do, he felt like he had been thrown to the sharks. “It’s okay, Violet, I’m your brother, you’re going to be okay.” Nick said kneeling in front of the crib, holding the bars and trying to speak in a soft tone.

Violet just kept crying. Okay, babies weren’t that cute after all.

He stood up and patted her head awkwardly. “You’re going to be fine, little girl.” He said with a small awkward smile. The girl opened her big teary brown eyes at him and looked at Nick through her eyelashes, her lips in a pout. Nick smiled widely. Yes, he was making it! But then Violet’s lips quivered and she started crying again. Nick could swear that the cries were even louder now.

Nick sighed but tried to sooth her with words, hell he even tried to _sing_. Nothing worked.

Finally Nick did the unthinkable, the lunacy, the unimaginable, the inconceivable... He picked Violet up.

At first it was awkward, he held her by her armpits but away from him. He bounced her gently until she stopped crying but she still didn’t look any happier. “Why are you even so unhappy?!” Nick asked but of course Violet didn’t answer.

She was going to cry again, Nick could see it through her quivering lip. “No, no, no” He said hugging her close, picking her up properly. Violet didn’t cry. Nick thanked the heavens.

He gently rocked her so she would fall asleep again, Violet curled against his chest and was soon falling asleep, smiling softly.

Nick sighed contently and was going to put her back in the crib but Violet made a whiny noise that promised more crying. “Okay fine” Nick grumbled and kept rocking her.

After a while his arms were getting tired so Nick walked to his bed and tried to lie down without hurt her, letting Violet rest on his chest. At first the little girl looked up at him with curious big brown eyes but then she curled contently against his chest again and fell asleep.

Nick smiled softly at his sister and stroke her hair gently, soon falling asleep as well.


	17. Chapter 17

Nick wasn’t sure what woke him up but he got a small idea of what it could have been when his eyes opened and he found a half blurry half clear blond boy who he quickly recognised as being his dork boyfriend, Jeff, looking down at a camera’s screen. After blinking a couple of times, trying to make Jeff look completely clear, Nick realise he had his glasses a bit all over the place which was the reason for things being blurry.

"What do you think you’re doing?" Nick mumbled.

"Taking a picture of you and your new sister" Jeff grinned widely, not innocently at all.

"Weren’t you supposed to be in the hospital?" Nick slurred, his mind slowly gaining consciousness. He could feel his sister still sleeping on top on him, curled up. Jeff didn’t answer but the smirk did for him. "You poop head, I hate you!" Nick groaned. "You know, she cried! And I had to calm her down!" He said in a whine.

"Your mothers’ idea." Jeff grinned and snapped another photo of Nick and his baby sister.

Nick groaned. “You are all awful. And now you shall never have her again. She’s mine now.” Nick said holding his sister tightly against his chest.

"Aw… See? It worked. You like her." Jeff smiled.

Nick rolled his eyes. “I didn’t dislike her.” He mumbled.

"You know what I mean." Jeff said taking another photo when Nick turned to his side and held Violet closer so she would stay secure in his arms.

The moment he did that an awful smell filled their noses and Violet started crying.

Nick sat up and stretched his arms away, holding Violet. “Oh my! Smells so bad!” He said trying to cover his face on the crook of his arm.

Jeff stepped back. “You need to change her diaper.” He said making a face.

“What? But I don’t know how!” Nick looked at Jeff with wide eyes, even though he could only see a blur.

“Your mothers aren’t in the house, and I am _not_ changing her diaper so you have to figure out a way.” Jeff grinned, just by the voice Nick could understand perfectly that he was far more amused than he should.

Nick pouted and placed Violet on the bed to reach for his glasses. The little girl’s crying only seemed to get louder as the seconds passed.

“Come on, Nick, you can do it” Jeff grinned, pointing the camera at him.

“Are you seriously taking photos right now?” Nick huffed.

“Of course not!” Jeff said in a mock offended tone. “I’m video tapping” his face broke in two with his usual grin again.

“You are the worst” Nick grumbled and picked up Violet to take her to the changing diaper section, or whatever it was supposed to be called, Nick had bigger concerns than to remember the name.

“You love me.” Jeff said, following Nick around with the camera.

Nick put Violet down and ran a hand through his hair. He had no idea how this was made. Couldn’t he just snap his fingers and have it done automatically? And the worst part was that the smell was getting worse and worse, Nick was getting just a tad desperate.

“Little tip, you might need to take her pants off so you can reach the dirty diaper.” Jeff chuckled at Nick’s desperate facial expression.

Nick flailed. “I’m not going to undress my sister!” He shrieked.

Jeff laughed. “Are you going to wait for your mothers to arrive then? She could get an infection.” Jeff said a bit more seriously.

Nick bit his lip and looked at Jeff. “Please help me.”

Jeff sighed and put the camera down. “Watch and learn, then. I won’t be doing this again.” He said and calmly changed Violet’s diaper, playing with her as he did so she would stop crying so much.

Nick watched Jeff with a small smile, Jeff was so good with kids. Maybe with his help they would be able to adopt kids and Nick would actually work so hard to be able to be a good father, he would change, be more confident and happy so he could help his own kids if that meant he could build a family with Jeff. He would love that.

Nick blinked when Jeff picked up a giggling Violet. “You’re all done, Miss.” Jeff said with a smile. “Should we head downstairs?” He asked Nick who nodded with a smile. Nick leaned to kiss Jeff quickly and took Violet in his own arms as she extended them to him.

“Go ahead. I’ll catch up.” Jeff said and reached for his electronic cigarette, turning it on. “I don’t want her to see me smoke.” He added and Nick nodded with a small smile. Yup, Jeff would make the perfect dad.

“See you in a bit.” He said and took Violet to the living room still thinking about it. Sure, they both had their issues, but they were just teens, with time they would both be okay, they would get over their demons and be great parents. Nick was sure of it.

Just the thought of being with Jeff until the end of his days brought a smile to his lips. He had never asked Jeff if marriage was something he would consider, but once again, they were just teens, they had to survive college before that. College… Nick had totally forgotten about that. He and Jeff had been accepted in different places. What now? It was not like the places where anywhere near each other. Nick bit his lip, suddenly MIT sounded less appealing. It was not fair though! Jeff had worked as hard as Nick and the differences between their grades were minimal! Jeff had more extra-curricular activities than him! Nick sighed.

But Jeff had promised they wouldn’t break up because of this. It would be hard, yes, but they would manage it. Somehow.

Nick sat on the couch and sat Violet on his lap, playing with her absent minded. College would last a few years… Nick could try to go to Jeff’s college though. No. They had talked about this before. Beside there was no guarantees he could get the full scholarship anyway.

After a while Jeff came downstairs with a grin. “How are you two doing?” He asked.

Nick smiled at him. “We’re doing fine.”

***

After all it turned out having a sister wasn’t as bad as planned. Violet was actually pretty adorable and Nick was slowly becoming an overprotective brother. He was always with one eye on her to make sure she wouldn’t put anything in her mouth or hurt herself accidently, if she cried during the night Nick would let her sleep curled up on his chest since it seemed to calm her down.

Lia and Catherine were happy to see they were getting along, and even scolded Nick about letting Violet get used to sleep with him. She couldn’t get used to it or when he left for college no one would be able to calm her down after a nightmare. Nick always answered with a “but she looked at me with those teary eyes and I couldn’t help myself!” and then his mothers would just roll their eyes and Jeff would chuckle. Nick could swear that once Jeff said something along the lines “No one would say he was against the adoption at first.”

Nick was playing with Violet in the living room, Jeff had just left for karate. “Come on, baby girl. Say it with me: biiiiiig broooo-theeer.” He said really slowly, opening his mouth wide at the right sounds.

Violet tilted her head at him and opened her mouth and closed it as to mimic Nick, but didn’t really produce a sound. She reached out to take his glasses and put them clumsily on, giggling.

Nick huffed. “You’re a lost case.” He mumbled. “Hey! How about we go watch Jeffie’s practice?” He asked stealing his glasses back. Violet just watched him with a giggle.

Nick got up and quickly got them both ready to leave. Violet hugged Nick by his neck as he walked. “You’re going to have to go to the floor at some point. The walk is not that small and you aren’t exactly light.”

Violet pouted but Nick shrugged. "Sorry. Jeffie will carry you back... Maybe" The little girl huffed and started making random whiny sounds as if she was complaining. Nick stood alert to see if she said any actual words, by now she should be able to say some words but she still only said random noises. The doctors said it was common in babies that had gone through some kind of trauma and since they didn't know her life before she was adopted they figured it had been something that happened in the orphanage or while she was still with her birth mother. "I know, I know..." Nick sighed.

Nick was able to carry Violet most of the way, they were just passing by an alley when he noticed some movement and glanced over. At the end of the alley he saw a glimpse of a blond person and another person dressed in dark clothes. Nick frowned but didn't stop walking to look, no. He was smarted than that. He walked until he was safely covered by the wall and let his curiosity take over as he sneakily peaked at those two. Violet whined a bit as he stopped and poked his cheek, not looking so happy. "Shhh just give me a second." Nick whispered.

A wave of shock washed over Nick as his eyes adjusted to the dark alley and he saw the blond's face. What was Jeff doing there? Why wasn't he at the gym yet? What was happening? He didn't understand! Nick narrowed his eyes as he tried to understand what they were doing. Maybe they were just talking right? Alleys didn't exactly have to be places where only bad stuff happened, right? Nick bit his lip nervously. It would be too much of a cliché if Jeff was there for... Illegal stuff anyway. Nick was starting to calm down about it when he saw the dark clothes man give a bag with whatever inside and Jeff gave him some money. Nick's eyes widened and he quickly walked away from there, he didn't want to see more, that was more than enough.

He practically ran to the gym, not even minding Violet's weight on his arms. Nick was panting once he got there, he went to his usual seat in the gym and let Violet sit on his lap as he caught his breath. "I wasn't made for any type of fast movement. Running included. Especially running." He mumbled.

Violet looked at her brother and gestured for the jacked she had on. Nick nodded and helped her take it off before he took his own off.

People were already arriving then, Jeff's karate mates who Nick was familiar with by now, they all gathered around them to meet Violet since it was the first time they were meeting her. There were a lot of: "Oh my-! She's so adorable look at her!" and "She's a tough one, made for karate for sure!" going around. Nick chuckled as she waved her arms towards the biggest guy of the gym and once he nervously picked her up, Violet simply cuddled happily against his chest. "I guess you're comfier than I am." Nick said pushing his glasses up his nose.

"I'm sorry, Nick! I swear I didn't mean to! Do you want her back? I'll give her back to you!" He said in a rush nervous tone.

Nick chuckled. "No, it's fine." He waved it away, he kinda reminded Nick of himself not so long ago.

"What's up, peop-Nick?" It was Jeff. Oh no. No no no. How was Nick going to face Jeff after what happened earlier? He blushed a bit and glanced towards the place where Jeff was but he didn't actually look directly at him just in case. The others wouldn't notice anyway, but Jeff probably would. He would notice Nick was acting off and he had no lie prepared to tell.

"Hey Jeffie! Violet wanted to see you." He said with a small smile.

Jeff frowned but then noticed Violet and how scared his mate looked and chuckled. "Violet!" He said happily walking to her to pick her up. The little girl quickly hold on to him giggling happily.

Jonathan, who was watching Violet and Jeff fondly (he was just really glad Jeff seemed a lot better, it had been a while since he had seen any bruises on him or since he actually showed any kind of pain. He knew he was living with Nick now, Jeff had told him and it hadn't taken long to finally gather the pieces even though he would never confront Jeff about it, he knew it would only do worse, he was just really glad he was alright now), clapped his hands. "Alright, enough of this laziness. I want everyone running twenty laps." He said and there were several groans all around the people.

Jeff sighed as he gave Violet to Nick and kissed her forehead before pecking his lips. "Behave. You too Violet." He joked making Nick roll his eyes a bit.

Violet was completely amazed by everyone once they actually started doing karate, at some point Nick had to let her down since she wanted to mimic Jeff while he did his katas. She was a bit clumsy in her movements, her still baby chubby legs not helping much, but not bad, at some point Nick helped her correct some moves he already knew just by watching Jeff. The people in the gym were glancing at her here and there discretely so Jonathan wouldn't punish them all with push ups although if they had looked a bit more attentively at him they would know he was also looking at Violet and aweing softly.

Jonathan walked over to them and crouched down in front of Violet. "Do you wanna come with me and learn a bit?"

Violet's eyes lit up as she nodded eagerly. Jonathan chuckled a bit and took her by her hand.

The rest of the time passed fast. Nick just watched Violet and Jeff, keeping the early scene locked away in his mind. Maybe after he would talk with Jeff about it. He should but he wasn't sure he could muster the courage.

He smiled fondly as Jonathan let Violet line up with the rest of the group for the bows. She frowned in concentration as she lined up with them, looking pretty much the most adorable kid ever.

Jeff picked her up and kissed her cheek, watching her giggle as he walked back to Nick. “You were brilliant!” Nick grinned. “Oh and you too, Jeffie.”

Jeff rolled his eyes fondly. “Ah-ah.” He said and let Violet down. “Let me just shower quickly, I’m sweating a lot.”

“Yup, go. Don’t want a stinky boyfriend.” Nick smiled at him.

Jeff nodded and quickly left to the locker rooms.

Nick played with Violet for a while, he looked over at the door that led to the locker rooms and for a second he thought of something. “Hey, Jonathan, could you watch her for a second?” He asked since he was still there, stretching with a few others.

“Yeah, sure.” Jonathan nodded.

“Thanks!” Nick called and ignored the playful comments and made his way to the locker rooms.

He sneaked inside, not making any noises and walked around until he saw Jeff. He wasn’t completely surprised when he say the electronic cigarette in his mouth. He couldn’t even be bothered to think that just a few seconds ago Jeff had been half naked with small droplets of water running down his perfectly toned torso, in fact he hadn’t actually dried himself properly because Nick could see small dark circles all over his shirt where it was now wet, his hair was even still dripping. But all Nick was worried about was the cigarette.

“So…” Nick said coldly, leaning against the wall.

Jeff looked at him and widened his eyes. “Nick.” He said and quickly threw the cigarette to the locker.

“I saw it. Why are you with it again?” Nick asked calmly, taking his glasses off since the steam was blurring his sight and annoying him.

“I…” Jeff started but was interrupted by Nick who stepped closer to him.

“And while we’re at it. I saw you in the alley today, what was that about?” Nick spoke quite coldly, a frown on his face. He hadn’t expected to be so forward with this but seeing that cigarette between Jeff’s lips had upset him quite a bit.

“Nick, I…” Jeff started and Nick cleaned the glasses with the hem of his shirt before he put them back on, his hazel eyes meeting Jeff’s brown ones.

“Are you addicted to something?” Nick asked.

“What? No!” Jeff frowned but looked away from Nick.

“Don’t lie.” Nick said and stepped closer to Jeff, reaching for his hand. “Not to me.” He asked, softer.

Jeff sighed. “I didn’t want to tell you.” He mumbled, tears filling his eyes instantly and that was the moment Nick saw for the first time in a really long time a very broken looking Jeff.

“What happened?” Nick asked, the harshness from before completely replaced with worry and concern. Something was bad.

“You know how I didn’t smoke for the nicotine, right?” Jeff said, looking at Nick, making a huge effort to hold in his tears. “She saw me on the street. About a week ago. And… She…” Jeff winced and closed his eyes. “She dragged me by my hair to an alley and beat me up, and… Once again I couldn’t do anything about it but I didn’t want to worry you and Cat and Lia.”

“Oh… Jeff!” Nick said and moved to hug his boyfriend. “You silly. You should have told me. We should have gone to the police.”

“I wanted to avoid that.” Jeff sniffed, hugging Nick back.

Nick sighed and leaned a bit back after a while, to lift Jeff’s shirt, it had been a week since he saw him naked and now it made sense, Jeff had a lot of new bruises, they were practically healed but their shadows were still marked on Jeff’s skin.

“I’m sorry”

“I’m too.”

They hugged again and Nick reached for the cigarette again to give it to Jeff. “Please. Never hide things like this from me.” He asked.

Jeff cleaned his tears and nodded. “I won’t, I promise.”

Nick kissed Jeff soft and lovingly before he left the locker room to go get Violet.

***

“Four weeks.” Jeff sighed.

“Hmm?” Nick frowned and looked up at him. They were cuddling on the couch, watching a movie as Nick’s mothers had left to take Violet to the fair. In any other day Nick would have wanted to go and win himself another red panda but he and Jeff hadn’t exactly spent that much time together lately. With the school year ending and college approaching they both had a lot to do.

Jeff shrugged, running his fingers up and down Nick’s arm. “We have four weeks before college.”

“Oh.” Nick looked down at his lap and then back at the TV. “That’s not much.” He mumbled.

Jeff agreed with a nod of his head “It’s not. But we’ll make it work, right?” He asked holding Nick closer to him, making him press his back further into the blond’s chest.

“We will.” Nick smiled. “Lots of skype and we already know tricks to save money so we can afford visiting each other. We love each other, we’ll make it.” Nick smiled and tangled his fingers in hair on the back of Jeff’s head to pull him down for a kiss.

Jeff smiled widely against Nick’s lips and kissed back, moving one of his hands to cup his jaw gently. “I love you.” Jeff whispered against Nick’s lips.

Nick leaned a bit back. “I love you too” he said with a wide smile and leaned to kiss him again.

It started soft but it slowly grew too eager. Nick turned around and Jeff sat up so Nick could easily sit on his lap as they kissed. Nick felt Jeff’s tongue run over his bottom lip and without hesitation he parted his lips for him, letting them kiss deeper.

They really didn’t care about the time passing as well as the movie. All that mattered to them was that they were in each other’s arms, enjoying the intimacy they built between each other over the months they had been together. Just to think that Nick would get all blushy and nervous at the _mention_ of a kiss in the past and now he was openly making out with Jeff, rolling his hips down against Jeff’s to try to get a sound from him.

When they finally parted, they were both panting but grinning widely. “Let’s go upstairs.” Nick said softly.

Jeff smiled and nodded. “Sure.” He said and pecked his lips.

Nick cupped Jeff’s face with a soft smile curling on his lips. “Just so this is clear, I’m ready and I want to do it.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do it just because-” Jeff stopped himself as Nick leaned a bit away to take his shirt off and lean to kiss his neck, a smirk on his lips. “That’s highly unfair.” Jeff groaned.

“Jeff, you know me. If I want to stop it, I’ll say, but… let’s just go with it.” Nick said moving back again to look at Jeff.

Jeff grinned happily and got up to take Nick up to his own room, he knew Nick didn’t like to make out in his and Violet’s room. ‘ _It’s her room too! I won’t be doing naughty stuff with my boyfriend in my baby sister’s room!’_

Nick would never say it out loud because he knew it would sound cliché and lame but his first time could be described as magical. Jeff had been gentle, making his best to not hurt Nick and to leave him comfortable with his own body and even making Nick feel sexy. It wasn’t the first time that happened but now everything felt so new and different.

Nick had been nervous but he swallowed it down and ended up loving every second of it, the eager kisses exchanged, the soft lips that explored each other bodies, the sweet loving words, the words that weren’t as sweet but made Nick’s toes curl and goose bumps appear all over his skin, the strong feeling of pleasure running through his body, everything...

It didn’t take long for Jeff to realise that Nick still blushed pretty easily with the things he was saying with his low, deep and silky voice or when he or Nick let out a soft, lustful moan. It was a sight to be seen, honestly, if Jeff could he would just snap a picture of Nick but at the same time there were things he was more eager to do than that.

It ended before Nick wanted. One second he was feeling amazing, his pleasure building up and then he was crying out for Jeff and then it ended. Nick let himself rest back against the bed, grinning widely to himself as Jeff was coming down from his high as well.

“I want to sleep here with you tonight.” Nick said a few minutes after when Jeff finished cleaning them up and was now cuddling Nick.

Jeff smiled and kissed him. “Let your mothers arrive and then sneak back in.” He said as he leaned back.

“No. I don’t want to let go at all.” Nick said kissing his chest.

Jeff chuckled softly, running a hand through his hair. “We can hang a tie on the handle. Or a sock. I think both work.”

“Jeffie! I don’t want them to know!” Nick blushed deeply.

“I think they think you’ve done it already, love.” Jeff laughed.

“Still.” Nick mumbled, hiding his face away and yawning. “Sleepy.” He said.

“Then sleep, it wouldn’t be the first time we cuddle through the night.” Jeff muttered, feeling tired as well.

Nick nodded and leaned to kiss him one last time. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

Nick was trying to pack his books. Trying. His little sister wasn’t helping at all. She was grabbing the books from inside the box and throwing them away.

“Violet! No!” Nick said starting to get annoyed. “I need to take these to college!”

Violet pouted, looking quite upset with Nick, throwing a book away from her.

“Violet!” Nick scolded.

The little girl let out a huff.

“Do you want to go downstairs and watch TV by yourself?” Nick raised an eyebrow, at her lack of response he continued. “Then knock it off.”

“Nicky no.” Violet said throwing another book away as Nick picked up the others to put them in the box.

He froze and looked at her. “What?”

“Nicky no! No! No! No!” She said waving her little fists in the air.

Nick gasped. There it were. Violet’s first words.

He was still shocked when he picked her up.

“No! No! No!” she continued, trying to squirm away from him.

“Mum! Ima!” Nick called getting out of the room.

“Is everything alright?” Came the worried answer from downstairs.

Nick climbed down the stairs with Violet in his arms, he could hear Jeff going after him, probably feeling confused.

“Listen!” He said as he got to the living room where both their mothers were. He said and turned to Violet.

The girl was pouting and frowning at Nick. She didn’t say a word.

“Nick, what is this about?” Lia asked, raising an eyebrow.

“She spoke!” Nick said.

“… You know we went to run some exams, Violet might be mute.” Catherine said.

“No, she spoke! I swear!” Nick said and instantly had an idea.  “Well, I guess I’m leaving you here and go back to packing.” He said and put her on the floor.

Violet kept frowning angrily at him but didn’t say anything.

“Packing for college!” Nick said as he stepped back ignoring the looks he was receiving from his boyfriend and mothers.

“Nicky no!” Violet burst out. “Nicky no! No! No! No!” He waved her fists again.

There were gasps all around the room and a very proud grin from Nick.

With the commotion rising in the room with everyone happy and trying to get Violet to talk seemed to set the girl in a better mood as she forgot about Nick and his college packing.

But it was no easy task to leave a week later.

It had hurt Nick to leave his little sister behind, crying her lungs out, but it had to be done. Saying goodbye to his mothers wasn’t easy either but Nick made an effort to hold back the tears, they were supposed to go with him, take Violet too, but then as she was reacting so bad to his departure, Lia had decided they should stay.

He and Jeff only said goodbye a bit later, they had decided they would only say goodbye when they truly had to drive different ways so a few miles into the highway they stopped on a gas station with a diner attached to have breakfast and kiss goodbye.

“This isn’t goodbye, this is a see you later on skype.” Jeff said, Nick’s face cupped in his hands.

The smaller, dorkier boy nodded, reaching out to lift his glasses and clean the tears on his eyes. “I know. But I’m scared. I’m terrified. Me alone in a new college with thousands of people? Without you?” Nick bit his lip.

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.” Jeff said softly and kissed him.

Jeff had intended a soft kiss but Nick’s desperate response had made it impossible. “Don’t leave me.” He asked with a small sob, holding on to Jeff. “I can’t do it. It’s too much at once. Mum, Ima, Violet… Now you. I can’t. I can’t do it.”

“Nick, please.” Jeff asked, looking down at his feet, not able to look at him in the eyes.

“You’re right, you’re right.” Nick stepped back, cleaning the fresh tears. “I’m sorry.” He said and looked up at Jeff again moving to hug him tight. “I love you.”

Jeff hugged back as tight, lifting Nick a bit up and burying his face on his neck. “I love you too.”

When Nick got in the car again he didn’t look back or he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave.

College was bittersweet. He was studying what he loved, but there were so many people there, but then he would make friends, but Jeff was still away from him, but then he would be able to go a weekend over to Jeff’s college but then they wouldn’t see each other for a week since they were both so busy.

Nick felt like this should be the time of his life. He had grown so much since high school, he was no longer the whiny, naïve, childish boy he was a year back. He got over himself and made friends and made an effort to be social and was much more mature. But the constant feeling of missing Jeff kind o held his happiness back.

They lasted 2 months, then they broke up.

That skype call was devastating. There were tears, angry words, apologies, hurt confessions. They weren’t ready to let go. Not at all. But this wasn’t working either.

It hurt but it was for the best. It wasn’t like Nick was going to run to someone else but getting over Jeff was somehow easier than being linked to him by a spider web string. There was no real connection anymore. They had different friends and different schedules, they had no time to see each other and after that one weekend when Nick went over Jeff’s college neither of them did the trip again. It hurt like a bitch.

They only saw each other when they went home on holidays and it was pretty awkward. On the Christmas right after they actually ended up hooking up but there had been it. They had been weak, that was all. And after that Nick didn’t let anything else happen as he got himself a new boyfriend. His name was Augusts, Nick only called him Gus, and he made Nick pretty happy. He was taller than Nick, not that it was that hard, and had golden brown hair and a dashing smile.

Nick was happy with Gus and eventually he was able to put his and Jeff’s breakup completely on his back, he didn’t tell Jeff anything though, he didn’t know how he would react. Besides, Nick wanted to tell him on his face, eye to eye, but one year later and Jeff still didn’t know. Nick told himself that he just hadn’t had the right time yet.

By the end of that year’s winter semester Nick was already looking forward going home, he missed his family, the skype calls weren’t near enough and he felt like he had been dragging himself the past few weeks, he was exhausted and miserable, Gus had gone home early, leaving Nick alone to face his finals. They kept in touch, of course, but Nick still missed the cuddles and the kisses and just his boyfriend’s company.

He was sitting on his bed waiting impatiently for his new roommate, some boy who was going to move to MIT for the second semester and had been assigned to Nick’s room and since the guy wasn’t going home for Christmas he had e-mailed Nick through the college’s administration to ask if he could wait for him so he could get his spare key before he left.

So it wasn’t bad enough Nick had to give up on a room for himself but his roommate was making him be late, by this rate he would never be on time to catch the train home. He hoped this was the vacation he finally grew up and told Jeff he was dating a new person. They had remained friends so Jeff would be happy for him, right? Besides it had passed an year and a couple of months, Jeff probably had someone of his own too by now. Something in Nick’s stomach twirled unpleasantly but he just ignored it.

Nick was starting to get teary when he heard the knock on the door.

He got up to go open the door. “You’re la-“ His mouth fell open at the sight of his ex-boyfriend in front of him, a grin from ear to ear on his face. “Wh… What… I…”

Jeff pulled him for a tight hug. “I got transferred. Ever since we decided to break up… I… I made my best to get transferred. There was this guy that had a full scholarship that fucked it up and they saw how committed I was and I was having good grades and all that so they accepted me here on trial. I’ll be here for a semester with full scholarship and then if everything works out they’ll let me stay. I know this doesn’t mean we’ll get back together but I still love you and… I want you back, I think of you every day, Nick. It hurt so bad to decide to break up. And I swear I didn’t ask to come to your room, but you were the only full scholarship with no roommate.” Jeff blurted out, rambling on as Nick stood there completely stunned, but hugging him back.

“So… You’re staying? For real?” Nick asked weakly.

Jeff nodded. “Yes.”

Nick didn’t know what to say. On one hand this was all he once wanted. On the other side… This is way too late. He was with Gus now and he did love him.

“Nick, say something, please.” Jeff asked, leaning back. Tears swell in his eyes.

Nick stayed in his catatonia for a few seconds until finally something snapped inside him, he blinked. “Jeff… I…”

“I missed you.” Jeff said, interrupting Nick, and only making Nick feel worse. He was starting to feel quite anxious by now.

“I missed you too.” Nick mumbled.

“I’m never leaving your side again.” Jeff said, making it sound a lot like a promise.

“Jeff…” Nick frowned. “I have a boyfriend. We…” Nick crossed his arms close to his body, as if he was sheltering himself away. “We’ve been together for a year now. I… I love him.”

It was like Nick could see the blood drain from Jeff’s face. “Oh… I see…” he said, and this time the tears that appeared on his eyes were so big that Jeff couldn’t hold them back. “I’m sorry. I… Shit. I’m sorry Nick. I don’t want to-“

“Jeff. I think you need time to take things in. I know you mean no harm. I’ll give you, your space. Are you really not coming for Christmas?” Nick asked, looking a bit away.

“I was… It was just my excuse to surprise you.” Jeff mumbled, cleaning his tears.

“Alright, then… I’ll wait in the hall downstairs for you.” Nick smiled a bit and bit his lip before pulling Jeff for a hug. “I’m sorry.” He muttered before getting his bag and walking away to the hall.

***

“Okay… So… if you and pap broke up during college… When did you get together again?” Nick’s teenage son asked as he sneakily picked on the strawberries Nick was cutting for the strawberry short cake.

“Well… In college actually. You know, MIT was always a dream of paps’ as well so as soon as he could he went there… That was about… 1 year after we broke up.” Nick nodded to himself.

Daniel nodded. “And did you start dating again, right away?”

“Nope… When he went there I was dating this other guy, Gus.” Nick said casually.

“How come I didn’t know this?” Daniel frowned.

“Because you’re only asking now.” Nick shrugged.

“So what happened next?” Daniel asked.

“Obviously, paps won my heart back” Nick grinned. “Not that was much of a fight really, I always loved him more. He was… He wasn’t just my boyfriend, he helped me grow out of my shell. He is my husband, the father of my son, my best friend…” Nick smiled.

“How was Gus after you broke up with him?” Daniel asked, smiling fondly.

“I never did. He broke up with me, realised I still loved paps.” Nick said. “It was hard, I guess. Back then I wouldn’t admit I still had feelings for paps.” Nick said.

“Aw, that’s adorable” Daniel teased.

Nick rolled his eyes fondly and slapped his hand away as he saw him trying to steal a strawberry. “Now, go clean your room, aunt Violet and grandmas should be arriving soon.”

“Yes, dad!” Daniel jumped out of the stool and ran to his room.

Nick smiled to himself once he left. Who would tell, eh? Nick married with Jeff, the former McKinley High bad boy, raising a son together. His life had turned out pretty good. Nick loved it.


End file.
